In the way you do anything, you do.. everything
January 5, 2012
Just something I wanted to comment on; based on IMs, current “seduction/pickup” trends, and the loss of Ciaran to Rsd turmoil.
You guys gotta understand..
Pushing thru this stuff is the journey. Is the destination. As Tyler says “No one is above the process”. The process is the deservedness. How do you get better..? You go out and do it. You experience life. See something difficult that would be uncomfortable? Relish it. It is you growing. It takes a level of life experience to elevate yourself into an area where you “get” this stuff.
Some guys want the magic pill so you don’t have to go thru it, feel the pain, GROW, and become men.
Don’t want to push yourself? How ’bout we cut off your foreskin at age 15. How ’bout we shove you out into the wilderness, exiled from your own family, and make you kill a wild animal with your bare hands. How about we require all man hopefuls to join the military?
Gawd I would love this. You trying to talk to me about how hard being social is? C’mon.
That is the process. That is why you deserve women, why you deserve life, why you deserve the way people treat you and respond to you. Ya maybe you don’t have to kill wild animals anymore. Maybe experiencing death or nature in its harshness is not the measure of adulthood anymore. But there still is a measure of who you are; in how you live your life.
Reason why you can’t get yourself to do certain things socially, i.e. PU, will be the same reason you don’t experience success in life. In the way you do anything.. you do everything.
You have to be able to, and have experienced the relative harshness of reality, accepted the personal responsibility of your life, figured out how to deal and make your mark on it, to come out the other side, having earned the respect of yourself, and therefore of those around you. Deal with the amogs, the social circle of friends, the bitch-shields, the attitudes, the logistics, the career, the boss, the debt, the higher education. Is this stuff going to grow you up? Make you tough and deserved of women? Hell yes.
Are you socially awkward, but otherwise sane? Good, we can help you deal with that. We will definitely help you deal with that. Give you a road map so you have a path and plan.
Want to get super fucking polished? Like.. bad ass. Take training.
Are you experiencing discomfort? Relative failure? GOOOOOD. That shit is awesome. The ability to push on in the face of hardship makes you who you are. Dealing with uncertainty with calmness, forthrightness, and pushing on with it is the measure of a dude.
I read about some guys going through despondent times, jaded over the community. WHY!
The community is not meant to fill that hole. It can lead/point you in the right direction. But if you’re looking to gain/prove your self-worth by becoming better at getting reactions out of other people, out of women.. then holy shit you’re fucked. Do you understand women look for this? Any time a woman can feel she is the measure of how a man feels about himself.. he is a goner.
If you’re trying to use this “PU” to fill a huge fucking hole in your life, your head, your emotional being.. well you’re fucked. Don’t ignore that stuff, attempt to use PU to fill it, and then blame PU for the frustration you feel. “Game” and success is a reflection of your overarching well-being. The community is supposed to make you realize your blindspots, so you can fix them. Those comments in Ciaran’s blog about the “end” of PU leading to nothingness and despair; ya it won’t fulfill your life.. but it doesn’t lead you to despair either. Pure egotistical nonsense. Nothing but you can lead you to despair and personal pain. Done.
You can’t take your baggage with you. It’s why we tell you, you can’t hold onto your hatred of women, self-hatred, low-self esteem, argumentative nature, etc., and experience success with women. Don’t ignore that stuff in lieu of PU. You’ll still be frustrated in the end. Those are all reflective of what is going on inside you. If you have not dealt with this all, then why do you think women or society will let you in? But don’t blame yourself, instead take action. And don’t subtly blame someone else for your lack of growth, or point negative attention at the other guy. Because then you’re stuck aren’t you. You’re resisting your reality and focusing your attention on that which does not matter. You are the process. Not them. You worry about you. They’ll worry about them. Also try not to project your feelings concerning something, onto the actions of someone else. Making assumptions is dangerous. Creates blindspots.
If you are not getting the results you need, accept it, do not resist it. Do not look elsewhere. Look inside.
You get back from people what you project outwards about yourself. Sure maybe a single interaction, a single “opening”, is a bit superficial.. but that’s why you’re not to be bothered by being “blown out”. You can come back 5 minutes later and have a great time with the same girls or group of people.
Men deserve women because they’ve experienced self-doubt, experienced fear and uncertainty, pain, even anguish. And shoved through it. This is core confidence. Confidence in their ability to deal with a situation, whatever may arise, and to deal with it. This is natural game. The ability to naturally deal with situations, communicate your intent and purpose naturally, rather than having to resort to a routine, and get stuck if you do not have a predetermined stack.
How do you become a social bad ass? By developing faith and acceptance in yourself. How do you get these? By pursuing and achieving personal success in yourself/through yourself; and continuing to pursue it, not allowing stagnation or procrastination. This is core confidence.
Is learning routines bad? Hell no. You are developing the ability to deal with situations, and life in general. Routines is training yourself, is building the social experience to deal.
But say you don’t have routines down, or natural game, charisma, etc. Is that a reason to not put your personality on the line? Risk losing a false sense of identity? Because you fear it? What is fear but inexperience? You fear what you do not know. So therefore get out there and experience life. Fall down, get back up.
This is what a man is, it is the measure of a man, and how much he deserves in life. He takes, he does not get it handed to him on a forum.
I’ve seen all kinds of rationalizations for the kind of depth of experience some of us guys push ourselves through: “Oh he’s a chauvinist, a bully, uncaring and unfeeling. Insensitive. He’s an asshole.”
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No dude. We just don’t let shit slow us down.
The top guys on here are not here to get laid or talk about getting laid. We get laid. End of story. It is not our purpose, our end-all. If it were we probably wouldn’t be getting laid. Seriously.
Tim..? Full positive angelic nimbus? A hard ass. One of the most naturally leading dudes I’ve ever met. I thought it only existed in the military before I met boy wonder.
Tyler? A fucking rough dude. Someone I trust to take the hearts and minds of this community forward in the right direction.
Nathan? I don’t have to talk about that guy.
This is what women look for. Seek.
These guys earned their success. Anything besides this is why women fundamentally have a problem with the “seduction” community. They hate the idea of a man being able to seduce a woman, without having earned that hard place to become a naturally seductive man.
Most women are already there. You might think they’re batty, emotional, ditzy. You’re not supposed to worry about that. Why are you looking to her for emotional stability? That comes from you.
She is supposed to be able to play in your playground. In the social context of you.
This is why we teach inner game. It is why we teach you to become whole. And why we don’t focus on routines. Because YOU are all YOU need. How could it be any other way? J Does this seem hard to you all of a sudden? That you can’t rely on someone else to bring you success? That’s only a thought, a fleeting assumption. The process is the destination, is the success, is the pride in yourself and the positive emotions. You are the prize to be won.