How To Text A Girl: The 19 Rules

By Manwhore
May 26, 2013

Knowing how to text a girl is EXTREMELY important in today’s modern dating world. Most guys are completely clueless when it comes to texting a girl they like, or texting a girl they don’t know or are trying to get to know. These rules are essential if you want any sort of success when texting with women you are interested in dating or getting intimate with!

The Three Basic Principles of Text Game

1. The MAIN Point

The entire premise behind texting a girl is to get her on a date with you. And this is your main objective, there are other things you do over text, but they are ALL to support that main objective. Do not be a penpal.. pull the fucking trigger. Shoot her with your STGG 1000. (Solid Text Game Gun). Yes lots of guys want to know how to flirt over text, or make a girl like them, etc., but ALL of this can be done while handling your main objective ;). This article will teach you how.

2. Switch it up!

Not all of your texts can be about asking her to meet up. Knowing how to text a girl means understanding that a conversation must be balanced! I know I said in the first one that it’s your prime directive, but if you do it too often, it will turn her off because you will look 1) needy 2) like you don’t have a regular life, and 3) you don’t know how to carry a normal conversation. A lot of guys mess this one up! Just because you had a good time with her when you met her does NOT mean you can just keep hammering away at her with “Hey want to get drinks tonight? No? What about Tuesday? And I’m free Thursday too!”

  • 2a. A good rule to follow is FOUR regular texts for every text you send that has something to do with her meeting up with you. If you find that hard to do, read the rest of the article for great tips on keeping a conversation going strong, and fun.


3. Be Flexible

You MUST be flexible in how you ask her out! Have three or four ideas for a date/meetup. Be a little more creative than asking a girl to get coffee with you five times in a row! Too many guys are one-trick ponies. And it is quite frustrating to girls. Because NO.. they do NOT want to get coffee with you. Some girls don’t like coffee! So be flexible and have different ideas for meeting up with a girl. You can ask her out for coffee, and if she can’t make it, plan something else besides coffee for your next attempt at a meetup with her. She might be more receptive to just heading to a bar for drinks, or she might want to go bowling, OR, she might just be interested in coming over to scoot and boot and then never see you again. You don’t know until you try something new!

How to Ask Her Out Correctly

4. Figure Out Her Schedule First

If you already know she’s busy tonight, or busy on Tuesday, why would you ask her to hang out then? You already know she’s going to say no, and you definitely want to limit the amount of “No’s” you get from her! You don’t want it to start becoming a pattern 😉 So before you ask her if she wants to hang out with you later, ask first if she’s got plans already! “Hey tiger what are you getting your dirty little paws into tonight!”

5. Distract

Distract her from the potential awkwardness of meeting up with a new guy! Don’t make the meetup be a formal date! Here’s some big news: girls are nervous about going on dates. They hate them actually. Dates are not fun, they are analogous to having to rip a band-aid off so the wound can breathe and heal faster, meaning girls know they have to go on dates.. but they are painful lol. Girls hate the awkwardness of a guy who’s nervous on the date (95% of guys are very nervous on a first date), the boring polite questions, the guy’s clumsy attempts to kiss her, or the weird questions guys ask to try to figure out how fast they can sleep with her. So it is your job to make her realize this is not what meeting up with you is going to be like.

  • The best way to do this:
    5a. Come up with a plan that sounds casual and fun, and involves doing some kind of activity. Sitting with a new guy at a supposedly “romantic” dinner is way too heavy for most girls. Keep it social and fun. Shooting pool, having drinks at a bar, going for a quick coffee, meeting at a bookstore for some project you’re doing, or maybe some kind of party idea, like “beating her ass at beerpong”, or inviting her to some dinner you and your friends throw every Sunday *this is a great idea my friends and I do this constantly*
  • 5b. Always phrase your meetup requests smoothly and without putting a lot of unwanted pressure on her. You do this by taking the emphasis off the date, you do that by never simply saying “Hey want to go do x with me at y?” Add something fun to it! So instead of “Hey want to go get drinks with me this Thursday at Paco’s?”, instead say “So here’s the deal this place Paco’s gets really good reviews on Yelp. I say we crash the place this Thursday at 8 and ruin their rep.” See how the first text puts way too much emphasis on the “date”, but the other sounds like an awesome adventure. Which one do you think girls would rather do??

6. Don’t Forget About Her!

Just because she agreed to meet up with you doesn’t mean you can ignore her till your date! That’s the #1 reason why girls flake. Stay engaged. Don’t just set up the date and then go radio silent! That’s so awkward for a girl, lol. Shoot her a text a couple days before you’re scheduled to meet up, and definitely text the day before and the day of. Keep it fun and light. Read below for more ways of keeping text conversations going.

General Rules for Starting and Developing Text Conversations with a Girl


Knowing how to text a girl means you understand being absolutely fearless and even ruthless is the name of the game. My rule is as soon as I get a girl’s number I start texting her. Many times this can lead to meetups the same day/night that you met her! But regardless even if it doesn’t, you are fresh in her mind! Don’t wait too long so she doesn’t remember who you are! Knowing how to text a girl is many times about understanding proper timing! Start now rather than later.

8. First Texts

The rule is: they must be awesome! Never say, “Hi it’s chode from club x last night. How are you?” Base it off something you and her talked about when you met, or maybe something that was going on at the place you were at! Don’t say something like, “Hi Jenny, nice to meet you. Hope you get home ok.” Make it juicy. “What’s going on gawjus. I got home safe, which is a miracle considering what we were doing at club x”

9. “Who’s this?”

Never give a straight answer to this. It’s so boring, and to be boring at the start of a text relationship usually means instant death. Make up something spectacular. “This is Kevin Federline’s backup dancer. Don’t you remember? You offered me a job last night! j/k what’s up girl it’s mr. [insert_username] from last night. How are ya gorgeous?”

10. Don’t look like a retard!

Use proper spelling and punctuation, and spell words out- don’t use abbreviations. E.g. don’t send texts that look like, “c u later huny. Wuz coo meetin you.” It’s just not attractive, it might sound ok in real life (I personally don’t think talking ghetto is ever attractive), but on a text screen it can’t help but make you look dumb and ignorant. The only time I’ve seen misspelling work is when you’ve made it obvious you ARE intelligent. E.g. “I enjoyed meeting ya, was perving your FB you’re gawjus” (taken from another user on my text game forum 😉 )


this is probably one of the most important skill sets in text game. If you haven’t spoken to a girl in a couple days, or even a couple hours, you cannot restart the conversation with a boring question or just randomly ask her out! Make sure you first start the conversation with something funny, and after trading a text or two back and forth, then ask her out. So an example of a good reengagement text might be: “I think I’m pregnant with your child.” There is no girl on the planet that wouldn’t answer that text! Get her laughing with a good line, it can even be a mass text you get off the internet 😉 and once you’ve gotten her attention and you guys are having fun with each other, you can then ask her out.

12. Talk about Real Shit!

Don’t just be mr. funnyman, actually share some details about your life, and ask her stuff about hers. It’s fun and builds a connection and gets her more comfortable with the thought of meeting up with a complete stranger that could maybe murder her! :b

13. Send Funny Pictures!

Enough said. They’re amazing for getting a girl comfortable with the idea of meeting up with you. Especially if the pic is of you doing something silly/retarded but awesome at the same time. You can also use internet memes to convey emotions. These are hilarious, and show your creative side. I have several friends that send girls American Psycho memes every chance they get. Patrick Bateman is a very emotionally flexible character 😉

14. Pet Names!

this is fundamental to my game. I make up all kinds of names for girls. Everything from darth vader kitty to daisy schmookums. Don’t get too sexual, and keep it playful and endearing. Lovebug, or boo, or pumpkin (just keep it simple) work just as well.

15. Dealing with Flakiness

this is one of my favorite subjects! Just kidding, it’s not, but it is a reality in the dating world. Girls are busy, fickle, beautiful little creatures, with lots and lots of options. Sometimes she’s just not down to hang out with a guy that’s got your particular style of haircut! Oh well, maybe next time buster! The solution is to emotionally let it go, be patient, and send her a funny text that says everything’s cool but it would have been way cooler if she had shown up! A good example might be, “I told the oompa loompas you were coming. That’s fucked up.” Then just start texting her again a day or so later. See how the text showed your disapproval while not actually directing the negative energy at her? Great job! Also, sometimes after texts like that it reminds the girl to have better manners and she then may apologize. This is good because she will feel like she “earned” your continued attention. This leads to blowjobs!

16. No Sexting (for beginners)

with girls you’ve never banged! It takes a level of experience and skill to handle pre-first date sexting with a girl. So don’t do it unless you’re pretty adept at setting up dates without it! And NO DICK PICS. Ever

If you do want to try your hand at sexting before the date, “blitzing” works best. Read about that HERE.

The Inner Game of Texting

17. Be Patient

too many guys get frustrated with the process, get pissed at the girl for being too busy, or not paying them enough attention.. and they overreact and write the girl horrendous shitty texts that are needy and overly demanding. “Why did you give me your number if you aren’t going to text me back?” Or, “So when are we finally going to meet up? Hello!?” Never lose your cool, never lose your icy demeanor. If a girl isn’t responding, let her be, there are other girls out there. Ease off and text her back up again in a few days. She might be in a more receptive mood. Girls are very touchy, she might have just lost her pet goldfish, and is mad at boys because of it. Or she might have recently broken up with a guy she was dating, and is mad at boys over it. Or she just recently broke a nail, and is mad at boys over it. Just reengage her properly a few days later, or give her a call and leave a simple, smooth voicemail. These do great with reengaging a girl you’ve lost contact with.

18. Be Emotionally Aware

Sometimes a girl is just having a bad day, and knowing how to text a girl means you you realize this! If she’s acting different all of a sudden, is maybe short with you or even rude, just ask her, “Everything cool? What’s up boo you seem a bit different today.”

19. Be Honest and Open!

Does your car suck and you can’t get out of the house? Tell her you’re having car problems, or that your mom says you have to be all tucked in and snug by 8:30pm, or that you’re under house arrest for GTA. Girls understand! I remember one summer I was broke as fuck, didn’t have a car that worked, and couldn’t meet a girl anywhere. So guess what?? I got really good at figuring out ways of luring the girl to my house for our first date ;). And guess how most of those dates turned out, lol.

If you guys have any questions about text game, or want to join my long-term coaching program, fill out the coaching request form at:

Other Resources:

How to Sext
How to Talk to Girls

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