Taking things sexual with a girl seems to be the main sticking point of most guys hitting that intermediate/”I’m no longer a newb in the game” level. So they search for physical escalation techniques, verbal/sexual escalation techniques, and end up finding lay reports like my own, or Jlaix’s, and they read detailed recounts of incredibly polished “caveman” style sexual escalation and closes.
In fact one guy learning the game recently made a thread on rsdnation.com that after reading some of my lay reports he commented it sounded like I was raping girls! We got a big laugh out of that one and Jlaix jumped into the discussion and made this very solid remark:
“Its a constant attunement to the emotional energy, making tiny corrections forward and back over her sweet spot. If you pull back and look at the big picture however you wont see this and it will just look like steady, aggressive escalation.” -Jlaix
Obviously it comes down to calibration, just like everything else. It’s one reason why my lay reports are so highly detailed.. because I’m trying to immerse you, the reader, in the emotional scenario going down. So YOU can recognize it when you start experiencing it yourself.
Alex of RSD fame made a recent comment on his blog that many people misinterpreted and took the wrong way. He made the comment that “it takes 5 hours to have sex with a girl so you can just chill back and have fun with her.” Of course the trolls jumped on this one and insinuated Alex sucked because it took him 5 hours to lay every girl! Actually what Alex was hinting at was a very powerful concept that has a lot of consequences for guys learning the game. I’ll explain it here. (Btw Alex is one of the best in the world at the game hands down. He’s recently starting developing into a more chilled out, laid back and screening type of frame apparently and I think the world will end up losing something beautiful when he let’s go his crazy high energy antics.)
Basically a problem guys have is they start tripping out over how to get sexual with a girl and they end up STIFLING themselves or escalating in some kind of weird fashion. But by creating a mental rule that it takes 5 hours to lay a girl, he’s simply taking away the over-emphasis on sexualizing the interaction. This weird sexual stifling really is a sticking point for more advanced players. Sex is going to happen naturally, flirty-sexual behavior is just a natural consequence. No need to try to force it. Chill out and have fun with the girl, and when she’s ready, take her, but don’t trip too hard over trying to say the right thing, or touch her the right way, or use the correct sexual speed seduction sequence (lol). The sexual one-liners you read about in my lay reports, where it just seems that as soon as I said it the girl fell into a sexual state, that stuff happens NATURALLY when you’re not thinking about it! Trust me. You guys are all superstars. You are fuck machines, the biological derivative of thousands (or millions) of years of sexual evolution. It’s going to happen believe me.
With all this being said, I’d like to introduce a form of sexual escalation that I think a lot of guys can grasp and make easy use of. I use it myself ALL the time because quite frankly I’m not always super talkative and able to make smooth sexual talk on the fly. And I just don’t have to be!
Here it is.. don’t worry about the sexual banter or dialogue. Don’t start trying to figure out how you can turn her comments into sexual innuendos and show her that “you have a dick!”. When you do this, you take yourself out of the present with her, you start thinking ahead, or thinking in the past and you completely remove yourself from the powerful rhythm that two people have simply from being present and talking to each other.
What you DO do is touch her in simple and purposeful ways. In highly authoritative and playful fashion.
I will be talking about the weather with a chick and be like “STOP MAKING IT RAIN!” And I’ll grab her and tickle her, or put her in a headlock and give her a noogie. Or I’ll simply grab her leg right over her knee cap and make her squeal. And then boom let her go and go back to talking about the weather. Two steps forward, one step back. It’s called “Fractionation”. I immerse her in a physical scenario, and then pull back, and then put her back in one. Very fun and arousing for a girl.
Now in the situation I described I actually created a scenario where it made sense to tickle her, I ACCUSED her of something. This is a fantastic technique and I’ll write up a post on just this at a later time. However I don’t have to do this. I can simply talk about the weather or whatever it is we’re casually talking about and just pinch her side, or playfully punch her arm or grab her above the knee cap like I mentioned. You can do this once every 4-8 minutes or so and you’ll create a rhythm where without even trying, you’re creating sexual/physical chemistry with the girl.
Thumb wars? BEST SHIT EVER. Do it. I have no idea who came up with this and I know it’s a pua classic. But it works, and it’s FUN. It NEVER losers its simple relaxed innocent flirtiness.
Now a lot of you guys might be thinking, “Well ok I DO all that!” And I’m here to tell you you’re on the right track, you’re doing nothing wrong. Stick with it and simply lead the girl back to your place or hers, and CLOSE her! There’s nothing more you need to do.
I don’t walk around with a boner 24/7 like some of you guys think. My mind is not a racing sex-machine that always has one-liners and/or can turn any interaction and dialogue into sexual banter. Sure I’m fucking awesome at it, but on MY rhythm. When I’m good and fucking ready for it. When I’m just chilling out I know I can use this technique to escalate things in a sure and steady fashion.
Tell me what you guys think. I’m waiting for your comments.
By the way if you guys are curious about how to make things sexual over text, read my article on how to sext for the complete breakdown!