Sexting with Nurse from OkCupid.com Results in First Date RAMPAGE!

Girl: No it’s “her name”
Me: I know lol. Aloha “her name”
Girl: 1 min later: Hi… Wasn’t sure if you had forgot ton my name because of all our “sandwich” talk.
Girl: *forgotten
Me: 1 min later: Ha yeah that was kinda distracting
Me: So are you a night owl too
Me: 808 huh. You’re in a lot of rap songs
Girl: Sometimes… I’m in bed and have been watching Hannibal.
Me: Lol that’s a nice relaxing flick before bed ha
Me: I’m thinking about throwing on a movie too
Girl: Yes… I’m from the 808 state
Me: [Movie_subscription_channel] is great
Girl: I know… So now I’m trying to watch something happy!!
Me: I’m thinking about starting watching game of thrones again
Me: I don’t watch tv that’s the thing I just don’t like getting caught up in a show unless it’s amazing and will teach me something
Me: Like true Detective
Me: Nothing will top that
Me: Oh I thought 808 was L.A.
Girl: I have amazon prime too… I love it!!
Girl: I haven’t gotten into it yet… I know, I’m an anomaly.
Girl: I’m from Hawaii…. 808
Girl: 1 min later: Haven’t seen true detective either… 2 & 0
Me: 1 min later: Yeah I just looked it up lol
Girl: Where are you from?
Me: 1 min later: San Deezy
Me: I’m kinda bored right now. Restless
Me: I should be getting some work done but who wants to do that 😉
Me: And you’re not even wearing any pants how could I concentrate right now
Girl: 1 min later: What do you want to be doing right now?
Girl: Nope… Boy shorts
Me: 1 min later: Why is that always so sexy
Me: Hmm I could think of a couple things
Girl: 3 mins later: Because they sit low enough to partially expose a girls lady parts while making her butt look amazing.
Me: I mean obviously I need a pic to verify this. For science
Girl: 8 min later: (She sends me a pic of her in boy shorts style of panties- the view is top down)
Me: 10 mins later: You would not last long wearing those around me

Me: 4 mins later: (I send her a pic of a news article clip of a dude who was high on meth while masturbating and fought off 15 cops)
Me: 4 mins later: Andrew’s a hero

Girl: (She sends me a hawt pic of her standing up in her panties)
Girl: 1 min later: Haha… You’re turn.

Me: 11 min later: (I send her a topless pic of myself. My abs look pretty good and it’s pretty obvious I’m naked but I cut the bottom part out 😉 )
Girl: 11 mins later: That beanie would be the only thing id allow you to wear if I were there…
Girl: You are quite yummy..
Me: Damn how insisting would you be?
Me: 1 min later: Too bad you’re not here because I’m wearing the beanie right now.
Me: I’d probably nibble on you thru your boy shorts. Then have you make me a sandwich
Me: Too bad I don’t have any bread guess this can’t happen
Girl: Very… I have my ways of getting what I want.
Girl: Only after I made you cum..
Me: But I have huge loads it might be too dangerous for you
Girl: Well… I’d definitely provide something for you to eat 😉
Girl: Haha… I’m a nurse.. Bodily fluids don’t scare me.
Me: 2 mins later: What would you want me to eat..
Me: And should I take big bites or small bites. Sometimes I get kinda hungry and I just want to devour something..
Girl: 2 mins later: Start off with small ones and work me into big ones.
Girl: My pussy
Me: I’m not going to be able to sleep now
Me: What am I supposed to do with this ridiculously huge hard on I have
Girl: Sorry 😉
Girl: Refer to the first picture you sent me.
Me: You’re probably going to have to do an after hours nurse visit I need medical attention asap
Girl: 1 min later: I should probably meet you in real life first.. Lol
Me: 1 min later: What’d you have in mind
Girl: 1 min later: Maybe grab a beer or something some time.
Me: 1 min later: Sure. Can we drink them too?
Girl: Haha.. You have jokes.
Me: 2 mins later: That’s not all I have
Me: When were you thinking this beer thing was gonna go down
Girl: 1 min later: Well… Unfortunately I go back to work on Friday and Saturday. Maybe Sunday?
Girl: 1 min later: Cheap drunks are my favorite 😉
Girl: 3 mins later: I’m going to try to get some sleep now.. Night
Me: 1 min later: Cool I’m going to look at you in your panties again then get back to work
Me: You have unbelievable legs
Girl: 1 min later: You’re turning me on again… Now how am I going to sleep??
Me: 4 mins later: Just think about Sunday.
Girl: 1 min later: :))

Girl: Hey.. That was a lot of fun last night and not something I typically do with someone I haven’t met. Our banter was just so much fun last night and one th
Girl: ing led to another. I’m not too sure what your intentions are, but I don’t want to sleep with you the first time we meet. Any way, I just wanted to be ho
Girl: nest and keep it real. I hope you have a great day! :)) (Typical asd/buyer’s remorse type response. Some guys reading this may not understand how much of a crisis this is, 95% of women would NOT show up to a date at this point.)
Me: 4 hrs 16 mins later: Yeah don’t worry about it I have steel resolve remember
Me: I’m not going to let you take advantage of me lol
Me: 5 mins later: I’m joking calm down (This is me running strong high-value game, then softening it several minutes later. So BOTH are communicated. It’s along the same lines as saying something strongly sexual, then saying you were joking afterwards which is pretty common in rap music)
Girl: 7 mins later: Im always calm… Other than when I’m not.
Me: 1 min later: Well don’t send me any more texts you don’t want to send anymore cuz you just freaked and I’m like.. what no wait. Lol
Me: out
Me: I forgive you for turning me on last night. It’s perfectly natural 😉
Me: And whatever happens I don’t mind
Girl: 7 mins later: I did not freak out… I have no regrets whatsoever and would send you more!!!
Me: Hahaha
Me: 1 min later: I send her a pic of Rainbow Brite w/ the caption “Is this you”. Lol. Total tease and disqualifier
Me: 1 min later: Well I kinda liked last night. And I have no expectations so bite me
Me: Can you believe I just woke up
Me: Sweet huh
Me: I may even go back to sleep like a true boss
Girl: 1 min later: Bahahaha… There maybe parts that resemble me..
Girl: Damn!!!! It’s almost 3!!! You are a night owl!!! I got up at 9 and I felt guilty.
Me: 1 min later: You wear barrettes and are three ft tall? Ok maybe last night isn’t what I thought it was. Hm let me look at you in your panties again..
Me: That’s a huge bed it’s practically a playground
Girl: 2 mins later: It is really big and comfy..
Girl: There’s a cushioned bed board too to prevent head injuries 😉
Me: 1 min later: For no holds barred wrestling matches
Girl: Exactly…
Girl: 1 min later: I used to wrestle in high school so I’ve got some moves
Me: I wrestled in high school and college I have lots of moves
Girl: 2 mins later: I’m sure you do
Me: 1 min later: (I send her the most ridiculous off-the-wall pic ever. I’ll include my specialty texting pics in the text game manual)
Girl: 2 mins later: Hahahaha
Girl: 2 hrs 1 min later: You should send me some more pictures of your abs!!
Me: 3 mins later: (I send her the “BITCH, PEAS.” pic)
Girl: 5 mins later: Bahahaha..
Me: 5 mins later: You send me more I like
Me: 1 min later: If you weren’t so gay we wouldn’t have to wait till Sunday we’d go see a movie asap cuz there’s like six I need to see
Girl: 3 mins later: I work the next two days :((
Me: 22 mins later: 48 hrs?
Girl: 2 mins later: Yes..
Me: 2 mins later: Were you bad. Is this timeout
Me: 2 mins later: (I send her a pic of myself and some buddies playing poker w/ what I say are ecstacy pills (they were aspirin) because we didn’t have poker chips)
Me: 22 mins later: That was a joke
Me: Aspirin
Girl: 9 mins later: Hahaha… Aspirins good for after the beer drinking.
Me: 2 mins later: I destroyed everyone that night took all their money
Me: 32 mins later: Just like I’m going to destroy you. And take all your boy shorts
Me: I hate having to go all the way to Wal-Mart to replace mine
Girl: 1 min later: Haha… You’re really tucking funny!!
Me: I’m not tucking anything in that’s your job
Me: After I let you out of your cage
Girl: 57 mins later: *fucking… Haha
Girl: I want to hear your voice..
Me: 13 mins later: I sound like the count from sesame street
Girl: 19 mins later: I hope so
Me: 41 mins later: Lol

Girl: 17 mins later: We’re plAying dress up.. Haha (She sends me a pic of her in a dress)
Me: 2 mins later: Damn looks fun
Girl: 39 mins later: Ahhh… My bed is so comfy.
Me: 15 mins later: I know it looks comfy from outside your window
Girl: Whoa… Creepville (I think this is her attempt to disqualify me and give herself a reason to not meet up. As you can see I do not fall for that shit at ALL)
Me: 😉
Me: 7 hrs 9 mins later: You should get up now or you’ll feel guilty! Lol
Girl: 5 mins later: I’m on my way to work… Mister!
Me: 4 mins later: Lol no way that’s fucked up ahaha
Me: Sucker!
Me: Wait are you going to pay me a nurse’s visit. That might be interesting..
Girl: 12 mins later: If only you were that lucky!!
Girl: Yup… My shifts from 0700-1930.
Girl: But I only work 3 days a week :))
Me: 1 min later: I usually only work 3 days a week too
Me: I still do projects on the other days but they’re usually fun as shit
Me: Still definitely cooler than you don’t you forget that
Me: I like my sandwiches on rye
Girl: 1 min later: I save lives for a living!!! Everyone loves nurses!!
Me: 1 min later: You’re a Jessica Rabbit nurse
Me: You save lives and you look good doing it
Me: Are you wearing those little panties with the bow on them again
Girl: 57 mins later: I’m wearing other ones with a little bow 😉
Me: 3 mins later: Whatever you think you’re getting some on Sunday but you’re not. I don’t put out (false barrier.. always a good move 😉 )
Girl: 17 mins later: Good.
Me: 17 mins later: Yeah I’m sick of being used for my body. It’s not right
Girl: 9 mins later: I feel really bad for you.
Me: 1 min later: Dont be I’m a strong person I’ll get over it eventually
Girl: 5 mins later: I don’t really feel bad for you.
Me: 2 mins later: That was really quick. You may be pregnant I heard that sort of thing is pretty normal when you’re expecting (This is a joke on the fact she had a “bipolar” moment)
Girl: 9 mins later: What?!?
Me: 7 mins later: Babe I’ve been fucking with you for hours now lol
Girl: 48 mins later: You can fuck with me all you want…
Girl: 5 hrs 12 mins later: If this is you fucking with me… It needs some work!
Me: 31 mins later: I have yet to begin my work
Girl: 5 hrs 29 mins later: How’s your work coming?
Me: 8 mins later: You’ll know when it happens
Me: What about yours
Girl: 1 min later: Uh… Ok
Girl: It was pretty good. Busy… A lot of shit today.. Literally.
Me: 1 hr 6 mins later: Yeah that’s why I would never be a doctor or nurse.
Me: 33 mins later: First time a doc looked at my butthole I was like, uh.. medicine ain’t for me
Me: 5 mins later: But apparently girls like my butthole so maybe girls are natural doctors (This is an example of “not giving a FUCK” and almost disqualifying yourself. It lets a girl know you are independent as fuck and could give two shits what anyone thinks of you. “Self-amusement” ftw.)
Girl: 6 hrs 32 mins later: Hmmm… Why have girls seen your butthole??
Me: 6 mins later: Hmm I dunno. Cuz they asked nicely?
Girl: 5 mins later: It’s good to know you’re easy 😉
Me: 3 mins later: Pff no way
Me: I need to be wined and dined (false barrier)
Me: 3 mins later: At least I want a cracker (self-deprecating humor)
Girl: 9 mins later: I can definitely do better than a cracker..
Me: 5 mins later: I’ll make sure to bring an appetite (Honestly I thought this was a shitty text I regretted it right after lol. So I compensate by sending her a non-sequitur pic of beer right after)
Me: 5 mins later: (Pic of heineken)

Girl: 15 mins later: Is that left over from last night?
Me: 12 mins later: No lol. What do you like to drink
Girl: Beer and wine
Girl: 8 mins later: What part of torn do you live in?
Girl: 1 min later: *town
Me: 4 mins later: I pretty much wave to everyone flying in to vegas
Girl: 23 mins later: So near the airport would be a safe assumption..
Me: 3 mins later: Who wants to be safe
Girl: 2 mins later: Hmmm… Depends..
Me: 4 mins later: Do you wear a pink nurse uniform
Girl: 45 mins later: Today I’m wearing purple and black
Me: 6 hrs 34 mins later: That’s fortuitous
Me: 24 mins later: I meant that in the nicest way possible. I really like fruit
Girl: 1 hr 6 mins later: What? I’m confused. I swear I’m not a blonde!
Me: 1 min later: (Pic of Hitler. It’s a HILARIOUS picture. I’ll put it in the text game manual)
Girl: 4 mins later: That’s fucked up… But I still don’t know what rather fuck you were talking about??
Me: 17 mins later: Put on your black and purple thinking cap
Me: 1 hr 14 mins later: So what’s it like being named “Her_name”
Me: 1 hr 1 min later: Hmm seems a bit boring. That’s unfortunate (Very much mockingly disqualifying her right here.)
Girl: 31 mins later: Uhhh… My name is awesome! Fuck you very much! 🙂
Girl: 41 mins later: What a crazy day!!!!
Me: 18 mins later: What happened tell me some stories
Girl: 17 mins later: Nothing really exciting… Just a lot of movement and I got hit hard at the end of my shift. Definitely got my exercise for the day.
Me: 7 mins later: You’re going to have to explain that one to me
Girl: 56 mins later: Well… You’d either have to call me or wait until tomorrow when we meet.
Me: 7 mins later: I’ll wait I have the patience of Godzilla
Girl: 1 min later: He’s not very patient.
Me: I waited thousands of years to come out of my bathtub and attack Japan
Girl: 2 mins later: You know, I’ve never actually seem that movie.. Whoops ��
Girl: 6 mins later: You doing anything fun tonight?
Me: Yeah after fight heading to buddy’s then a couple spots (I don’t take the bait and attempt to get her to meetup on the spot, I take the high road and let her know I’ve got plans that do NOT include her. Jumping the gun in this instance is a mistake a lot of guys will make, myself included lol)
Girl: 2 mins later: Oh nice… Way more enthusiastic than my night.
Me: 5 mins later: Who’s the naughty nurse now huh

Girl: 7 mins later: Are you a naughty nurse too??
Me: 14 mins later: Only Saturdays. And sometimes during the day on Sundays
Girl: 5 mins later: Well.. I think this naughty nurse is going to put on her boy shorts… get cozy in her bed with her little friend that vibrates.
Me: 5 mins later: Way to make me feel useful
Me: Do you want me to bring fresh batteries? (Super awesome way of handling this. I don’t jump on it instead I disqualify myself in a funny as fuck way. While also baiting her 😉 )
Girl: 2 mins later: Oh… Don’t worry. I’ll be strictly clitly..
Girl: You can just bring your tongue 😉
Me: 1 min later: So you want to come in my mouth
Me: Anything else
Girl: 1 min later: Yes and yes
Me: 1 min later: You’re tempting but my buddy is expecting me it’s boys night out not clit licking Tuesdays
Me: But send me a pic
Girl: 2 mins later: It’s a good thing I can be self sufficient.. And it wouldn’t be just clit licking…
Me: Dammit are you saying I may have to slowly pound your pussy into submission
Me: Good thing I’m equipped and qualified for this sort of work
Girl: That is a good thing 😉
Me: 1 min later: K I’m out. Meeting tomorrow at beer:thirty?
Girl: 1 min later: Sweet… Have fun tonight
Me: 3 mins later: Yeah obviously. You don’t have to tell me what to do
Girl: Dick
Me: 7 hrs 51 mins later: (I send her an ab pic of myself in the mirror w/ the caption “does this make me look gay”. Great way to send her a body pic w/out seeming like you’re showing off)
Girl: 3 hrs 17 mins later: No, fuckable
Girl: 33 mins later: What time are you thinking tonight?
Me: 3 hrs 51 mins later: 5 or 6
Me: Going to hit gym and bitch out my computer guy
Me: That work?
Girl: 16 mins later: That’s prob a little early… I just got to my bothers and we’re going to chill for a while. Was thinking more like 830.
Me: 1 min later: Ok that works now I’ll have time for a full day of productivity before I get the real work done
Girl: Perfect
Me: 1 hr 15 mins later: Don’t let your brother get you so drunk you pass out
Me: You’re mine later
Girl: 1 hr 45 mins later: I’ll behave 😉
Me: No need to be so extend
Girl: 5 mins later: )CJ
Girl: That was an accident.
Girl: Extend? You want to meet up later?
Me: 9 mins later: Extend?
Girl: 20 mins later: You wrote extend.
Me: 7 mins later: I meant extreme lol
Me: Fuck misspells.ugh
Me: 7 mins later: They ruin my life
Girl: 16 mins later: Haha… First world problems.
Girl: 54 mins later: Where we goin?
Me: 10 mins later: Coffee shop right? I don’t drink
Me: Oh man I’m about to go do something really dumb (I bought a puppy, LOL!)
Me: Meet me over here I’m near the airport
Me: But I need at least an hour
Girl: Ok.. I live in summerlin.
Girl: You don’t drink? I thought we were meeting at beer:thirty.
Me: 1 min later: Yeah I’m fucking around lol
Me: Summerlin sucks
Me: I also smoke
Me: Makes me hard for hours I don’t understand it (Awesome way to talk about my dick w/out coming across overly eager or too “assuming” that sex is going to go down and therefore trigger her “asd”)
Girl: I smoke occasionally too
Girl: Summerlin fucking rocks!!!
Girl: It’s all that vasoconstriction.
Me: You know that’s where they used to bury people in the desert right
Me: That’s the big joke about Summerlin
Girl: Nice… Dead people turn me on.
Girl: Where are we going so I can dress appropriately?
Me: Vasoconstriction huh. Sounds hot
Me: Wear a skirt so we match
Girl: I’m feeling casual.
Girl: Cool.. That was my plan.
Girl: And I’m not in a rush.. So whenever works for me. I’m off tomorrow too.
Me: 1 min later: Definitely tonight
Me: I’m in a race
Girl: 3 mins later: So… Place? Time?
Me: 2 mins later: My place 9ish #### hac##nda ave #####
Me: 1 min later: We’ll leave from there you’ll see why
Girl: 2 mins later: Ok… Don’t murder me.
Me: 1 min later: Pff
Girl: 5 mins later: What’s your last name?
Me: 1 min later: Omg lol
Me: “My last name” bahaha

Girl: 1 min later: My sister is a cop for lvpd and is very protective of me.. There are a lot of fucking weirdos out there.. Especially in internet land.
Me: 13 mins later: I’m a good boy. Kind of
Me: You’re going to flip your shit when you see what I just did
Girl: 5 mins later: Uh oh
Me: 17 mins later: Aight I’m starting off with fireball. Ketchup
Girl: 7 mins later: I just finished a glass of wine 🙂
Girl: Leaving in 5
Me: 6 mins later: Anyone ever tell you you got good timing
Me: I just slammed the world’s largest shot of fireball
Me: 13 mins later: Isn’t it funny that housework never seems to get done until you got a girl headed over to your spot. Does this ever happen to you?
Girl: 7 mins later: You’d better hurry!