There are lots of tiny little things “naturals” do, or guys that have experience with women, that makes the difference between a night of sexual adventure, and a night of frustration and resistance, or even just plain awkwardness. Most of these little things the average man has NO idea of. I routinely go into my buddies’ apartments or rooms and just stare in plain confusion at what I see going on. I’ll even ask from time to time “So.. you actually bring women in here?”
I pride myself on being a super simple guy, not given in to frills, or fancy psychological tactics and techniques to achieve success with women. Yet sometimes I have to realize that I only see it as simple because after all these years my behavior is shaped and honed to perfectly navigate the dating scene, and the quirky little male/female dynamics that go along with it.
So today I want to give you a few tips on how to set yourself up for success when you bring a girl home to your spot. Whether it’s home from a club the first night you met her, after a successful date, or just a quick trip inside with her before heading off on your date, or, you’ve put in your time with that one girl and she’s finally ready to come over and get intimate with you.
First off we’re going to talk about lighting. Now this is fucking HUGE. The lighting you have in your apartment or room is colossal in determining if things are going to go down smoothly or not. Let me tell you, there are plenty of guys who have had everything going correctly, were destined for Bang City with miss schmookums, and then boom could not get past the lighting issue. Ladylove is gone, and they’re left wondering what the fuck was wrong.
Here is the bottom line: you must have dim lighting for initial lovey times with a girl. If you try to burn out her corneas with your dorm florescent lighting, or try to stay with the stock lamps turned all the way up to the max, you’re going to shut down her mood fast. Not only is it harsh to the eyes, it also illuminates too much for a girl just getting to know a guy on a physical level, and it plainly demonstrates you know not what the fuck you’re doing with a girl.
Whether a girl has a lot of body confidence or not, harsh bright lighting will make ANY person feel like they’re on a hospital operating table. Not a good vibe for sexy times.
Here’s a simple cheap fix to get you going until you can invest in something better.. buy a lamp with a dimmer knob. You can order them online or buy one from Walmart. And then when you think you might be bringing a girl into your room later, even if there’s a chance of it.. have it be the only light in your room on and have it set at about half-brightness. This way girls know before they go in that it’s an inviting atmosphere. This is important. Many times a girl will take a quick peek into a guy’s room beforehand just to see what’s up. She might not even be aware on a conscious level she did it (which is actually a good thing) but subconsciously she’ll feel more at ease heading to your room with you. If you have a room that’s a disaster scene and find yourself getting resistance from girls not wanting to head to your room.. this could be the reason why.
Having it on this setting will also take care of any unplanned trips to the bedroom with some random girl from the party who just happened to show up in your room (happens a lot), and also takes care of any potential awkwardness of having to dim down the lights later. Any time a guy makes a move to take things sexual that is super blatant, like dimming lights, he runs the risk of triggering anti-slut defense in a girl’s brain. By having the correct lighting on beforehand, it’s smoother sailing and a girl can feel safer thinking it “just happened by accident, oops!” >;)
For more advanced players try getting some blush lighting or peach colored lights. Soft-orange is fine, or even diffused lighting, e.g. I got a lamp from Ikea that had about 30 tiny bulbs that gave a soft glow to the room. I also had one of those moving pictures of the surf coming in with the light glowing behind it. I wouldn’t go with dark red as it might make girls think “prostitution” e.g. the notorious Red Light District.
Anyways I hope this helped and as always if you have any questions feel free to hit me up.