Do YOU have that pre-screening vibe
January 24, 2012
I saw too many guys last night just settling. They’d walk up to a girl, say a few words, she’d show her approval by letting him dance with her. They were.. happy with that?
Wow. What awesome communication. We definitely can see who the prize is here. But don’t be mad at the girl.. if he wants to fit that role then let him. Just not the way I see it.
All girls are Chuck E. Cheese munchkin heads.
When they pipe up you bop them. On the head. Lay your hand down over their forehead or head first so you can cushion your own blow. When they all start chiming in at once it becomes difficult to figure out which one to bop first. Do your best. You will know if you get it because the jackpot siren will go off. (Clearly this is hyperbole)
Sure you can adopt a neutral purely social attitude with them. But why not instead start shaping the interaction with her from the beginning as one of you being the screener.
Focus on what you want from a girl, how you want a girl to act, and try to go out and find it. It’s pre-screening. You’re walking up to see if she fits your expectations. That’s why when you say “Who ARE you..” and you’re congruent with it, it’s so powerful. You can say it to girls all night.. if you mean it, they will answer.
One little cutie tries to tell me she’s an ICU nurse and that if I’m getting into medical sales she’s a good person to know. She’s really trying to make an effort here. I keep asking her to repeat herself because it feels so good the way she comes in real close to me and whispers in my neck. Tickles. I switch her to my other side and ask her to tell me again.
Let’s not look at it like how we’re going to display value to them- how we’re going to “give value”. Of course that’s what you always want to be doing.. but you need to be value.. not always worried about showing it, because if you’re worried about if you’re showing value or not- well you’re reaction-seeking aren’t you. This means that you shouldn’t go up trying to think of something funny to say.. just demand attention and BE
Let what’s inside.. show on the outside
A two set of little blond girls is running around being hot shit. They’re cute. I’m there. I poke them both and demand both their attention into me. I forget what I say.. doesn’t matter because my focus of thought, my awareness is not on what I’m going to say next. I’m not sure exactly what it is on, but it’s not on that.
I tell one of the girls I like hearts. She has hearts all over her little jacket. I tell the other something. They start volunteering stuff to talk about. They tell me they’re cousins. I tell them whatever and yell to my buddy to tell me if they look like liars to him.
They both pull out their I.D.s and hand them to me. I take a look, get confused ‘cuz gawdamn they both have long ass names. They show me and I get it. I hand them both back the other one’s I.D. It almost works too dammit. I pause for a second. I tell them “So you guys are cousins.. I just don’t see us getting into a threesome then.”
As Ciaran says “The way I see it.. there’s no point fucking around when you’re fucking around.” Think about the consequences of that statement.. genius broheime
They say no, it couldn’t happen. I tell them yeah too bad and rub the bad finger off on both of’em. I hear the stronger one say to the other, “I’ve never had a guy…“
I talk to my buddy again and then pull them both tight into me, double claw to their faces in my neck. I like girlies..
By the way I do something very similar with girls through sexting, read about it in my article how to sext!
A girl’s trying to talk to me, I lose my train of thought with her when I spy my buddy’s beer. I grab it and try to balance it on my dick for the next 30 seconds. Can’t quite get it but good effort. I look up, her and her girl are still standing there.
We’re going through the club totally just kickin’ it. Dancing like male strippers, posing, having a good fucking time. I get opened a lot, sometimes girls just watching me, or pretending they’d meant to grab their friends. Michael Jackson comes on in the patio area and I start dancing, girl giggles and pokes me. As I walk by a girl taps me on the shoulder, my momentum carries me right past her. I turn around to look at her, she pauses and very confidently beckons me over to her. Haha. I walk up and she pulls me in, lol. She tells me that I am a very attractive person. I pause, then tell her thanks. I think she’s slightly startled by my lack of response. I tell her I like her tattoos. I tell her I might lick them later.
A girl might “give” you something- volunteer sexualness, you might feel the pressure to meet that expectation, continue it along. Don’t. Maintain your frame, if yer not feeling especially naughty or frisky, then don’t bother.
Awhile ago I started noticing, even posting about it a couple times, the dynamic- as I perceived it- of girls opening guys. It was when they were minding their own business, having fun- or maybe not even having fun- just off in their own world.. that they’d get approached. Most nights it didn’t happen at all. I think it’s got a lot to do with not needing anything from anyone, not putting off that “I’m on the prowl” vibe, and having fun by yourself for yourself.
But be sure to give them the opportunity. Be a fun open guy. Don’t project any kind of negativity, or apprehensiveness. Don’t appear intimidating. Girls are wussies. You gotta be havin’ fun or they won’t be comfortable.
You subtly communicate to people the kind of guy you are. It’s in your face, your eyes and body language. Keep your value for your own, it doesn’t change because you’re in a new situation with new people- don’t change your subcommunication, always give yourself permission to be the same person. You are static, not a roller coaster of emotions and value. High value has a lot to do with consistency, recognizing value in others, appreciating it- and maintaining your own while continuing the interaction. When trying to “figure out” what to say next, have you ever just listened to what was being said..? Sex will come, it is alway there, hanging in the air. Hanging out after the club is natural, her following your lead is natural, sex is natural. Be a dude with standards for behavior, be social, be relaxed without feeling a pressure to perform, this shit will come.