You must become a selfish bastard before you can learn to make strong connections with women
I really don't know how to explain this all, it's just a recent trend I've noticed in my life. So I guess i'm gonna go budhasgames on you all and just type away, hoping I can express myself in a way you all can understand.
The biggest change in the last 6 months of my life is my ability to express myself, for myself. I've became really introverted and I actually like it. I say and do what I want. I think people enjoy me more now because I truly enjoy myself. I can be completely alone, and have the time of my life just simply expressing myself doing stupid shit like singing and dancing. You will never be comfortable around other people if your not comfortable just being yourself. I've become so inward oriented that everyone around me is just a blur, their judgements don't even enter my reality. Physically I don't feel others "energy" penetrate my own, I don't feel others frames as much. I don't know how to really how to put it, I physically feel uneffected by what others say to me. If its postive great, if its negative i'm cool. Most judgement sent my way is very positive now though, or maybe I just zone out the bad, i'm not too sure.
This has been so much change so quick, and it just feels a bit weird. I've been conditioned to view selfishness as bad, that I had to value everything that others said because they were the only ones that could externally define me. and my actions I always was really into considering what others had to say about me, good or bad, and using it to develope my self image. Now I know that my self image is define internally, thats all. I've been brought up thinking that you must consider others feelings before your own. Now that considering others feelings is wrong, but NEVER do it before your own. This is all so new to me, and sometimes I feel a bit bad about it ( I think this is defined as dissonance), but I know its the right path for me.
I've starting to grow even more, stepping it up to the next level. I'm still operating internally, but I'm choosing to attempt to understand others. Not to try and get their validation or please them, but because It feels right being the guy that can provide leadership or simply fufill a woman's fantasy.
I've even noticed how my behavior has changed on the forum. I'm typing this because I find it interesting, and maybe it can benefit people out there. Not to get validation.
The attitude you should have with people is that you are always looking for win-win situations. A selfish person is looking for the win-lose situation. With them winning.
-If you want to bang some girl, leave her and never see her again, is that selfish? I wouldn't say so. IF that's what she needs, she wins and you win.
-If she's looking for someone to be with long term and you tell her everything she wants to hear and she invests in you that way, you bang her and then leave her and never see her again, you win, she loses. Totally selfish.
I own a business and I go in and do exactly what the customer asks for. However I go ahead and do something else for them for free and for no reason. That looks like a win-lose thing to do on my part. Kinda selfless. But in reality, it's my best form of marketing. It sets me head and shoulders above my competition because I can bet that my customers call one of them and they wouldn't do that. And that makes people extremely loyal. So if you can do that in your relationships it really sets you head and shoulders above anyone else.
Being internally validated means you have something valuable to trade (win-win). People who aren't internally validated are empty and constantly need someone else to fill them. (Win-lose) selfish.
You guys are both saying the same thing. Good stuff meow