How do I handle this girl who texts all the time, but won't meet up?
So I've got this cutie I'm diggin. Cute sweet little brunnette. Just my type.
At first it started off great. I got her number. She couldn't wait to meet up with me. We went out to a country bar and got a dance lesson for our D2.
I played the social guy in the bar. I was joking around with the bar girl etc. I was aggressive. She gave me the "head turn" when I first tried to kiss her and said, "I dont even know you!" But I didn't make it a big deal. She gave me a massage in my car and we ended up making out.
The next date was two weeks later. We snuck in to an apartment pool and went swimming. She even bought beer and we made out. No lay though. Turns out she's a pretty devoted christian and is staying abstinent. HUGE DADDY'S GIRL. Which is cool with me. I'm looking for a good girl to be with. I've got an F-buddy on the side for hookups.
Then she started working 3 part time jobs and now it's a month later!
I just haven't been able to get her to meet up if my life depended on it! I've invited her to meet up many times and she's always "tired or busy." But she answers my texts UNFAILINGLY. Sometimes it takes a while, but she does. The other thing that I'm concerned about is, I keep seeing this dude from her church on her FB, who's after her. And it looks like she's interested in him, at the very least, in a friendly way. I asked her about it:
ME: Who's this jason guy? somebody really likes you!
HER: Does somebody feel threatened? lol
ME: Nah. Don't think so ...maybe a lil.
HER:There's no reason to be.
Thats the backstory. My relationship with her is 100% texting now. So my questions are:
Did I screw up? Should I have pushed more for the lay?
Is this girl just enjoying the validation of texting me or are these legit excuses?
How do I handle the, "I'm busy/tired" excuses?
Lastly, how do I handle Mr. Deuchey Church Guy? Is there anything I can do to kinda screw with him? :)
Thanks in advance for the help!
keep this in mind...abstinent church goer or not, she's a female with sexual needs. The fact that your cool with her abstinence means that your letting her reality dictate yours, are you really cool with it? Of course your fucking not, your here because you want to get the lay.
Okay. Point taken. I was a little weak on that. Thank you.
The girl has tats and went to jail at one point for grafitti. She's definitely no angel. I meant that I'm cool with having to go a bit more slowly than I'm used to. But you're right, I'm sure as shit not jumpin into this with no intent to get some sex. I'm definitely NOT cool with sexless relationships. Why don't you chop my balls off now HAHA!
HOWEVER. Your advice isn't really applicable or useful if I can't get her butt in the same general location as I am. Do you have any examples of how you dealt with a girl telling you she's busy? A post I could read? Anything?
"This Jason guy" is so far up the friend zone he can taste his own balls. She might try and use him to make you jealous but she wants you. Go for it. Don't sweat the outcome either way.
You had two dates in which to bang her. You didn't pull the trigger.. even after breaking into a swimming pool with her at night. Durr
She knows nothing's going to happen so why should she bother?
This whole "other guy" situation just seems so cheap compared to where you were actually able to get to with her. You should be screwing her right now it hurts to read this.
For the sake of brevity I didn't include all the details. But at pool the security guard kicked us out and my logistics afterward were shit. My house was too far and hers had her grandma in it, waiting for her to get home! We were in her car afterwards and THATS were I shoulda made it happen.
We were making out, but she kept pulling back and talking more... I'd pull her back in. She'd do it again. And she's getting phone calls from her dad! Eventually, I said, "You're such a damn tease. Get over here." Grabbed her by the shirt and pulled in hard. I started putting my hand up her shirt and she'd stop me. I smiled, put my hand on her hip/butt and try again in a minute or two. She'd stop me again. Stuff like that. Eventually I had to go because I had a 5 hour drive the next day.
So the way I'm boiling this down is: DON't FUCK UP IN THE FIRST PLACE. The logistics need to be handled better, and I need to get better at pushing through the resistance. Those need to be fixed before I even think about getting her out again.
@A. J. Thanks a bunch for the encouragement. I actually took a look before I saw your post and saw that he fucked himself over *hard* And will most like continue to do so. I'm not worried about him anymore. He's a non-issue. God bless 'im.
So at this point, I've got nothing to lose. I'm gonna try to take it as far as I can, until she either starts ignoring me, or she gets banged.
I'll share what I come up with, one way or the other, in an effort to help the rest of y'all who may have a similar situation.
Bringing up other dudes was weak. Don't ever do that.
The girls I'm seeing know and can probably tell from my sub communication that I'm seeing other girls. It never needs to be verbalized. At the same time, I'm not gonna bring up girls I'm seeing, I expect the same thing from her. I don't wanna hear about other dudes she's banging. It's a mutual respect thing. Wouldn't you feel kind of put off if she took the time out of her day to ask you who the chick you're always with is? Keep that in mind.
Me: (3:25pm) I miss you and wanna see you, but this security guard won't let me into the zoo. Any chance you could escape? <--Good shit. Thanks MW.
Her: (4hrs 20mins) Ha ha
Me: (31 mins later) Do anything crazy for 4OJ?
Her: (1 min later) No went to small kickback. you
Me: (5 mins later) Almost set the house on fire. Hung out with the fam
Her: (8 mins) Lol! Haha how close were you to the house
Me: (8 mins) Too close obviously. Stupid damn fireworks. The only thing that woulda made it funnier is if someone said ey hold ma beer!
Her: (30mins) Lmao!
Me: (32 mins) ...or ey, hold my baby
Her: (1 min) Your too funny ha ha
Me: (6 min) I'm the coolest guy you know ;)
Her: (9 min) Absolutely. Have you been stocking my facebook again jk
Me: (3 mins) Stocking? like stocking the shelves with canned goods and nonperishables? Sounds like a boring job stocking your FB
Her: (2 mins) Your on it today!
Me: (10mins)All i need to do is to get YOU on it.
Her: (9mins) Omg. wiskey right <--She was making an analogy to a previous joke involving wiskey dick.
Me: (3mins) You're so dirty minded. I meant the carousel I'm on right now.
Her: (4 mins) Wiskey is an alchoholic beverage sir. YOU at a carnival ha lol
Me: (7 mins) Uhhhh huh. I know what was going through your mind *wags finger*
Me: Greatest quote in the whole world by [her name] - "I need to get me some of that!" <--part of the same inside joke.
Her: (10mins) Lmao. Your welcome
Me: (8mins) Don't get too cocky now or I'll record you and put some autotune on it and you'll be the next youtube "they're rapin everybody up in here" sensation
Her: (7mins) Huh?
Me: (2mins) Just think pop song w/ autotune "Wiskey dick! gotta get me somma that."
Me: We could make millions
Her: (2mins) Lol
Me: (7mins) Actually I'd use you to make millions for myself and not share it with you
Her: (12mins) I beleive lol
Me: (9mins) Heheh. What r u doing this wknd?
Her: (3mins) Working :/. You?
Me: (11mins) Being broke. Had to pay bills. I want to take you and show you something at UofA. It's something you'll prolly nvr get to do otherwise. Is Saturday better or Sunday?
Me: and do you have golf clubs?
Her: (4mins) Are you surrrre I haven't experienced it?
Not anymore I rent
Me: (5mins) Yep. Saturday or Sunday hun?
(1 hour later no reply)
The inside joke referred to is this: For some reason I said something about wiskey dick. And she replies, "I need to get me some of that!" I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. She corrected herself later *WISKEY! NOT THE D. So I bust her balls about it as much as possible.
it went really good, but just don't rinse out the jokes too much. i know it feels good when a girl laughs at every text you send, but even that can drag after a while
As I was typing it up last night I was thinking everything from "Don't get too cocky now..." up to "what are you doing this weekend?" is totally unnecesssary fluff. I didn't need to say any of that.
I was aware of the fact that I was only getting "Lol" and "Lmao" for the most part. I felt like I needed to get her more engaged. Like Lol is the default robotic answer and that's not what I want
So she basically said NO, now I have to start over and reengage her and start from square one?
You went too sexual here without any investment or compliance/momentum from her. She's somewhere else and you're bringing up whiskey dick and rape and all sorts of stuff lol.
Manwhore: The wiskey dick thing was a joke from a while back that I give her shit about and SHE brought it up.
I was joking about taking the ditsy stuff she says and remixing it, I was referring to this in case you havent seen it:
Antoine Dodson Raping Everybody Remix
Ok that's the interesting thing about texting.. you might have brought up rape jokes before.. but introducing them in a new medium can have a shocking effect. It's why I see follow-up game as "Level 2". E.g. just because you got past level 1 doesn't mean you can sail on to the finish line. Each level has their own weird rules that if you fuck up, you fucking die, haha.