How to be supportive in a difficult situation and bring out her best as well

Anyone? I'm interested too. Don't have much experience on the matter to say anything.

First off, you're fucking terrible in bed. Raise your game. Bedroom talk. Don't be a silent grunter. You watch sports with the volume off or in espanol? No. Put her through a sexual experience verbally. The whole thing's a storied presentation. 

Secondly.. her health problems are for ten years down the road. She doesn't even have to think about that shit now. The fact you are thinking about that shit now, is fucking gay and stupid. You need to tell her that if that's what she needs to hear. Regardless you're being too reactive to it, not leading effectively. 

lol i'm far from a silent grunter. more like animal grunts and i tell her dirty shit and she kinda just stays silent while enjoying herself. however, i do think i could do a better job by making her respond by making her repeat words as opposed to settling with me talking to her tho - and also she's flat out stopped me when i've gotten rough with her, which i've never dealt w/this, usually girls have just enjoyed me dominating. Sounds like I'm not owning the situation completely though and need to persist with the emotional dirty talking/dominance with conviction. 

As for her health:

So let's preface this shit with I'm completely uninformed on the topic and just took what she said at face value. After snooping around google for a quick second and assuming it's BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which is likely to be the case, yeah she's got like roughly 10 years and is probably just paranoid... derp. i feel like an ass lol. 

Take another look at techniques 2 & 3 from the "Fear & Arousal" chapter. You've got to wait at least another month before "Dominance vs Sensuality" I believe that's in Month #4

Aequitas, try slowing things down in bed and really grind that pussy out from every angle then report back to how she responds to that. As we discussed before I was having the same sexytime scenario where I was "too rough" so I started to develop my sloooooooow game...ugh...it's fuckin amazing. I've been busting the FATTEST nuts. You can still be dominant and slow, yeah know. 

OH. Fuck me I'm a dummy. I even read that article a few times but it somehow did NOT click until you literally pointed out. 

Alright, I think I have a very good idea what to do. Yeah, this is all on me. I've definitely let the stress of both her and my life get in the way. Fawk yes. 

Also, this shit blows my mind how you're able to see the matrix sometimes with what seems like very little information that i provided. Thanks dude - i'll bump this thread once her and I kick it again after implementing this. 

Yes sure I'm def gifted in that way, but.. it's almost unfair to point out your bedroom capabilities because you probably are better than 85% of the population. But it's a truism at this point. Everyone's fucking awful no one truly understands the impact and depth sex is supposed to have. 

There's more to it as well. The fear/arousal modality is only a third of the sexual spectrum. I'm currently writing out the second third (dominance) and then comes lovey dovey sensuality. Aww! 

It's chill haha when I first read your comment my knee jerk reaction was OHHHH HELL NAW lmao. But then i was like .... yo, chilllll. Listen, he's trying to tell you something. Your lay reports tease out those ideas/give examples of those three modalities. 

Fear/arousal, Sensuality, Dominance. Yin and yang, soft and rough elements juxtaposing each other. I feel like I do a decent job of that, but decent isn't what we're going for here. Pumped to read them. The psychology undepinning those modalities will give a far better understanding of women, bedroom game, and by extension game as well. 

Lol - so this shit is blowing up in my face. 

Her:

Sorry for the delayed response... was hanging out with friends last night. And it  sounds like they must have liked your casual look at that first interview then! and yeah finally feel back to normal now. So happy to be socialized lol

Me:

It’s cool, buhbs. Ya maybe, I’ll find out this thursday. That’s good. What’s your schedule look like this week to hang? I wanna see just how crispy you got haha.

Her::

I've actually been thinking that I'm not quite sure if I see this working. I feel like you and I are pretty different, and it also kinda seems like we are looking for different things right now. I'm really sorry. I've had a really fun timing hanging out with you the last few weeks though 

Me:

Interesting. What did you think I was looking for?

No need to apologize. 

Her::

I guess something a bit more casual since you've been talking about applying to jobs in NYC 

Idk I guess it just didn't feel right 

I'm actually on the T right now about to get dinner with friends. If u want to talk on the phone I can call you later? 

Me:

I can text, it's fine

Look, I had a feeling you thought that. I do like you and am not looking for something casual. 

NY is a possibility, but is really unclear and very unlikely. But I do wanna keep seeing you bebs 

Her:

Yeah I guess I didn't really realize that. That's really nice to hear but I'm still not sure if I see this going anywhere. I'm sorry 

Me:

Are you at dinner already? 

actually - just shoot me a call once you’re out of dinner. i’d like to talk.

Her: Ok will do. Sorry this is bad timing. Haven't been able to text all day cause I've been in workshops

I'll shoot her a call in a few hours if she doesn't call me.But here's my chance to redeem myself. Backstory: she continues to see my dating apps blow up while we hang out - so she probably feels like i wouldn't take her seriously. Then the sex talk, she almost cried - so I made her feel bad. I am aware I went super logical on her - she'll call me in a few hours/i'll call her. Here's my second shot since this is not too far off of a position I found myself in with FWB post. I really want to learn how to reconcile these things haha.

Tentative gameplan: Be vulnerable, address her concerns, emote while holding frame, while still being charismatic and fluid.

Also if anyone wants to chime in, please let me know.

Damnit. I suck lol.

So end up talking to her on the phone.

Me: Hey you.

Her: Sorry was getting drinks etc... haha i'm kinda drunk so i don't know if this is the right time to talk about htis.

Me: It's cool - don't worry about it.

We talk about her trip to cuba.

Her: Really? You want to talk about my trip?

Me: Yea - i wanna hear about it. 

Chat about that, cuban cigars, etc. Then we finally get into the topic about us.

Me: So it sounds like you're upset with me because of the whole tinder thing. I get the feeling you feel disrespected.

Her: Yea (sorta under her breath)

Me: And i get that - but you don't gotta really worry about it. I do like you - you're a fun girl. I am not looking for anything casual. 

She's quiet.

Her: .... i don't feel the same way. (Her voice softer, more serious)

Me: ... huh? lol. 

Her: I Don't feel the same way.

Me: ... honestly i don't really believe you lol. 

Me: Look - .... it sounds like you're scared I'm going to burn you or something. 

Her: Aequitas look that's not what is going on i just don't think I see anything long term with you. It wasn't the tinder, it wasn't the sex talk. I just think I should be crazy about someone ... and Cuba made me realize that I'm not as crazy about you as I thought I was. 

Basically same thing a few times where I told her I didn't believe her. At one point I thought she was crying because she was quiet and talking under her breath. She started laughing and was like I'm not crying, you should know me better. (How the fuck did I whiff that so hard lol) 

Me: Alright - well, I still genuinely don't really believe you. But that's fine, I'm not going to fight you on it. Anyway, it was fun hanging out with you. 

Her: ya it was fun hanging out. 

Me: Haha why are you being so awkward about this?

Her: because it IS awkward .. this is tough. 

Me: No it's not. It's totally fine lol.

Her: So then we're cool?

Me: Huh? Why wouldn't we be cool?

Her: Ok cool.

Me: Ya lol, we're good. Have a good night.

So weird. Somewhere in the interaction I started getting the impression that she felt like I was more into her than she was into me. The whole dynamic leading up to this was the other way. It felt like she was trying to project that. In fact, I felt like the last time we hung out, things were finally getting on track in terms of emotions getting deeper between us. My emotions felt like they lagged behind her because I'm just not as emotionally available to be quite frank. I still think she's full of shit and went full logical retard on her. Also of note, is I am taking NY bar, so she also got the impression that I was going to apply for NY jobs as opposed to jobs in the state we're in. I didn't even bother bringing that up since I sorta didn't feel like that was the real issue.

Me and my buddy who will be signing up for these forums soon both came to the conclusion that she's prematurely ending things because she didn't think i truly cared about her. Possibly wanted me to really fight for her and I threw the towel in so quickly lol. I'm like 0/8 in these situations lol. Beats me tho at this point. I'm hella confused. Even when I'm not as emotionally invested, somehow couldn't turn it around. I was pumped to finally get my second shot so soon at these type of scenarios. Damnit. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a triangle. I'm definitely doing something wrong.

Hey aeq not too experienced in this type of scenario but since no one's chiming in i'll give it a whirl comparing things I noticed before and now buddy ol pal

1)I want to say she liked you more, thought you two were getting serious, and had a fling im Cuba. Because of that she rationalized it as her not having feelings for you in order to prevent any negative repercussions of sleeping with someone else and made it seem like it was your fault lol.

2)You're being a kinda insincere and aloof to her feelings when you need to be immersed so that you can guide them away to love and rainbows. That's the biggest thing here.

3)Ya you need to fight for her. That's a high value thing Aeq. Girls want you to want them. Reading your phone call makes me think it went like this:

Her: Aeq im not interested etc.

Me: I like you and here is reason xyz

Her: Sorry

Me: OK! :D Peace!

Her: Wait what

Me: Later bitch!

I'm not experienced but I would've talked to her, heard her out, and instead of trying to explain why I liked her or logically bust my balls out of it (or in hehe) lead her emotions to a place we both want to be (unless her concerns were valid)

Her: I'm not interested

Me: Buhbbs whats wrong?

Her: Blah lah

Me: Really? Is that all babe? You sure?

Her: balh blah

Me: *Your side of the story

Me: Babe this is crazy, i need to see you. Idc what you're doing im coming

^When fear turns into arousal and when you go over there to remind her why you two hit it off. Your dick.

*Hope that helps and lmk if I'm straight wrong lol. I strung this together and am not really experienced here mang 

1) Funny you say that,  my buddy thought she might have had a fling too lol.  I didn't want to believe it at first, because my ego, and two she was with her brother and mother, but definitely a possibliity. 

His thought process was: She slept with someone else and it made her think oh i slept with that guy i must not have really liked Aequitas as much as I thought I did, then projected that shit onto me. Logical brain kicked in and she found every reason why it would NOT work out to solidify the position. 

2) Could you expand on that? I liked her and it was showing in my voice that I cared a bit. Not really SUPER aloof, but I definitely gave up waaaaaaaaaay too easily. Definitely a disconnect haha. 

3) Yeah I agree with this tbh. I lead in with how her trip went to have it be positive, then have her emotions be higher - then we shifted gears and all i could get out of her was "... i just don't feel the same way" when I asked her what is going on or what happen in cuba. I tried calling her on her bs and that was just not the move lol. maybe i should've just overwhelmed her with positive emotions that are NOT about the serious chat, then segue that into This is crazy, but i wanna see you. What're you doing I'm coming. 

In short, I agree with your post my dude. 

Sure thing. There's a mis-management of emotions going on. From the looks of it, she ran the conversation and emotionally & verbally led everything to where she wanted it to go, that being cutting it off with you. She stole your role. It's your job to recognize where she's at and bring her to where you want to be because you're a dude who has his shit together and knows her getting your dick is the best thing since sliced bread.

You Didn't Emotionally Lead. <- That's one of the top, if not the TOP, skillset in seduction. 

Instead, you remained aloof to the whole situation. You didn't fully bring yourself to understand that this is where she's at and here's where I'm at, let me bring her here because it's better over here. To use a game term, and I don't like using this word, but you fell into her frame so-to-speak but emotional leadership is the deeper paradigm here.

By being aloof, you thought you could remain calm, emotionally untouchable, and could reason with her to come back to you, when in fact, that pushes her away even more because it makes it seem like you don't care. That's made clear because not once did you try to understand her, you tried to talk her out of it by telling her "It was bullshit", or "What happened in cuba". That ties in to being insincere because you may have liked her, but you didn't express it properly and when she cut it off, you were like, "Oh well that's that!" And she was kinda baffled lol. 

Girls are weird lol but at the end it was her saying "Fucking damn Aeq, so you didnt' care this entire time?"

Ofcourse we know its you practicing abundance and not getting hung up on one girl, but in their eyes it's like sad puppies :(

That whole mock convo I described in my previous comment about how I perceived it going, that's what I mean by being aloof and insincere coupled with the above.

___

It's not just in your voice but in your actions and verbals too - If you noticed in my mock convo on how I would've handled it, I wouldn't of even tried talking her out of it or listing reasons why I liked her. I was going to PROJECT the fuck out of my emotions so that she had to take them as truth. 

I would've been endearing with my tone in trying to hear her out in the beginning, get her to talk first, then I would've started spouting out emotional nonsense that conveys I liked her but not in a logical xyz fashion of why we should be together, at the end, I would've feigned losing control and gone for seeing her which she may or may not of complied to but it would've showcased how much I cared and even gotten her excited and aroused to the fact I was doing this shit. 

And had I led properly in the beginning with hearing her out, the chances of meeting me that day to "talk" would've gone through the roof.

And ofcourse we don't talk, I TAKE HER and relentlessly fuck her.

Hope that makes more sense, lmk if I need to elaborate more holmes. Still kinda hard piecing it together lol

Thanks dude. A lot of this is is starting to make sense and that was a fantastic reply. I have more questions but I will re-read this first and properly write back when I get a shot.