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Joined: 06/13/2019

I’ve had a couple issues where a girl gets hostile over text. I attach an example below where’s it seems I triggered her - I imagine she’s having a rough day and what I said came across as insult.  Rather than get defensive or apologize, i tired to let it runs it’s course and just lead with good vibes and humor. 

Im curious if I’m aloof and coming off rude where their reaction is warranted, or if there’s a better way to deescalate things. This girl and I have slept together before if it’s of any importance.

i reengage her after not talking for a couple weeks

me: I don’t understand ”adult”

book stores. They have so many picture books

her: LOL where are you?

me: the Australian version of peaches and cream [a sex shop we mutually know]

me: callled Gators and Snakes

her; hahah I love it

her: I google it and can’t find it [because I made the place up as a joke]

her: god damn!

me; come visit and we’ll go to all the sex shops 

me: maybe even some secret china town shows

no reply. I realize the invite (even though it wasn’t the most serious ) May have been too soon.

I connect with her a few days later 

me: your texting skills

leave something to be desire XD [maybe this was a bad opener as it sounds negative, idk]

her: is this better?

her: see this is 21st Centuery teasing 

me: damn, is this really lauren. That was so quick [inthiuyyt his was funny, but maybe it sounded critical]

her: rude

her: you finish quickly 

I’m thinking to let this blow over and play along. I initially was going to say “ you know that’s completely untrue;)” but thing it might just make matter worse, so I joke 

me: 2 second,

me: it’s over and then time for sleep

her: nite nite 

now  im trying to reframe what I said early so it’s not negative and bring the focus back to her and her passion for music 

me: I thought you had a social media manager because of your music 

me: and that I was talking to her for a moment 

her: we’ll her name better be fucking Lauren [her name].

I decide not the right this and just send question marks and then realize it seems she has removed me from Messenger. This girl is really hot and cold with me. And going through a rough woke transition. 

Regardless. Did I majorly fuck up with texting or is it just her, and how best is it to address charges exchanges like this? Just ignore negativity and lead her to a positive place?

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Joined: 01/18/2012
I have NO idea where this

I have NO idea where this thread came from. Does anyone remember reading this originally?

So yeah uhh.. this one's wide open for casual interpretation. Lol. He clearly shouldn't have trivialized sex like that. Add some more glamour and intro to your scenario, don't just jump her with "we'll go to all the sex shops". You can make the idea about meeting up fun and exciting and even enticing without automatically strapping a mattress to the back of the situation. Remember, you are literally NOT just a sausage with feet.

That being said, if this is your first night at fight club, you will find the rules are different.

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Caliph's picture
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Joined: 04/03/2021
Yea I also thought the texts

Yea I also thought the texts read a bit combative on his part where he's trying to fandangle the situation and turn it around. He said it's a girl he's already banged so he should be more endearing and sexting her about the fun times they had before at a minimum. Also he said he's had a couple issues just like this which lead me to the same conclusion...He's not leading with fun intimate times with these girls and it's backfiring cause he's not adjusting but instead projecting their non-compliance as if it's the girls issue instead of his approach.

There was a text where he mentioned the name "Lauren". Think she got jealous, then scorned too cause he made it seem like he had other chicks he was texting to the point he couldn't separate one from the other. It's cool to be a playa playa but careful not to throw it in anyone's face. You keep that shit on the DL and let other people profess for you