A gal in my life- this is the shit girls REALLY go through
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 16:00
Hey-
I wanted to reach out because I need some serious encouragement. It's really hitting me that I have actually gained all of the weight back that I lost over the past year and half. I worked so hard to lose that weight and here I am having gained it all back. The hardest thing for me is that I’m really not fitting into my clothes very well and I refuse to buy new clothes in a bigger size, which means I just have to lose the weight. What’s challenging is knowing how slowly the weight is going to come off and I think because I had looked so good less than a year ago I want to look that way now. I’m also struggling with working out and finding a good routine again. The trainer was so amazing and kept me accountable to working out and lifting. I am good at doing cardio 3-4 times a week but lifting is another story. I’m just so worried about being fat and I loved being able to put on a dress or a jeans and feeling great. Now I just feel fat—well not so much fat as I do wide. I just feel like my stomach and thighs are growing.
I’m so tempted to do a crash diet but I did a mini one last week and it didn’t work-I wound up just eating more food on the weekend. I know what works best for me is just to watch my calorie intake and take it one day at time. It’s just hard since I’ve already been there and had lost so much weight. I’m just really kicking myself for letting it all creep back up.
This is a girl that I care about on a very serious level and would do almost anything for. I wrote her an email back and am going to help her stay on track and address her emotions, as well as the weight.
I really just wanted to throw this up because this is the stuff that most of you guys don't see. This is the stuff that normal girls, the ones we're trying to "manipulate" go through on a daily basis...
How is this someone you could possibly feel anger at or be afraid of? She's a beautiful woman (seriously) and is one of the most fun people I've ever hung out with but despite all of that and all that, she has issues just like all of us and so do ALL girls- you just won't get this level of honesty from them because you'll never give yourself a chance to become close with someone like this. But it exists.
I wanted to reach out because I need some serious encouragement. It's really hitting me that I have actually gained all of the weight back that I lost over the past year and half. I worked so hard to lose that weight and here I am having gained it all back. The hardest thing for me is that I’m really not fitting into my clothes very well and I refuse to buy new clothes in a bigger size, which means I just have to lose the weight. What’s challenging is knowing how slowly the weight is going to come off and I think because I had looked so good less than a year ago I want to look that way now. I’m also struggling with working out and finding a good routine again. The trainer was so amazing and kept me accountable to working out and lifting. I am good at doing cardio 3-4 times a week but lifting is another story. I’m just so worried about being fat and I loved being able to put on a dress or a jeans and feeling great. Now I just feel fat—well not so much fat as I do wide. I just feel like my stomach and thighs are growing.
I’m so tempted to do a crash diet but I did a mini one last week and it didn’t work-I wound up just eating more food on the weekend. I know what works best for me is just to watch my calorie intake and take it one day at time. It’s just hard since I’ve already been there and had lost so much weight. I’m just really kicking myself for letting it all creep back up.
This is a girl that I care about on a very serious level and would do almost anything for. I wrote her an email back and am going to help her stay on track and address her emotions, as well as the weight.
I really just wanted to throw this up because this is the stuff that most of you guys don't see. This is the stuff that normal girls, the ones we're trying to "manipulate" go through on a daily basis...
How is this someone you could possibly feel anger at or be afraid of? She's a beautiful woman (seriously) and is one of the most fun people I've ever hung out with but despite all of that and all that, she has issues just like all of us and so do ALL girls- you just won't get this level of honesty from them because you'll never give yourself a chance to become close with someone like this. But it exists.
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 16:19
#1
Do you think manipulate is
Do you think manipulate is the best word. I think its a fine line but just me
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 16:23
#2
I just ate an apple
I just ate an apple
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 16:32
#3
Nice I just learned Handy
Nice I just learned Handy means cell phone in german
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 21:56
#4
Honestly, the title made me
Honestly, the title made me think it was going to be something a lot worse than just gaining some weight. I'm probably ignorant, but it just doesn't seem that bad.
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 22:07
#5
LolIt's all in her head. So
Lol
It's all in her head. So yes and no.
Obviously the weight thing isn't a big deal haha- but it's how it makes her feel. For me, I relate to that level of understanding. I can understand how something small may make someone feel a lot of pain and I can tell from the way she wrote that email to me, there was a lot of pain involved. So, what's funny, is that I actually didn't really pay attention to the "words" as much as I did the "tone" and then really connected with the "tone" of the writing. Whereas I think a lot of guys would just look at the physical words and be like, "Dude.. .this isn't a big deal"- For whatever reason, when it comes to girls, I look a little bit beyond just the words.
Nothing is super simple and cut and dry.
I also just have a slightly "overly compassionate" side to me when it comes to the girls in my life.
It's all in her head. So yes and no.
Obviously the weight thing isn't a big deal haha- but it's how it makes her feel. For me, I relate to that level of understanding. I can understand how something small may make someone feel a lot of pain and I can tell from the way she wrote that email to me, there was a lot of pain involved. So, what's funny, is that I actually didn't really pay attention to the "words" as much as I did the "tone" and then really connected with the "tone" of the writing. Whereas I think a lot of guys would just look at the physical words and be like, "Dude.. .this isn't a big deal"- For whatever reason, when it comes to girls, I look a little bit beyond just the words.
Nothing is super simple and cut and dry.
I also just have a slightly "overly compassionate" side to me when it comes to the girls in my life.
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 22:19
#6
I think Manwhore had an
I think Manwhore had an article that said 'how you do one thing is how you do everything' or something along those lines.
No fucking excuse to get your diet out of whack. Get in the gym. Eat well, lift hard.
You are doing work on women, do some work for yourself. I just got back from the gym!
No fucking excuse to get your diet out of whack. Get in the gym. Eat well, lift hard.
You are doing work on women, do some work for yourself. I just got back from the gym!
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 22:21
#7
You need to exercise EVERY
You need to exercise EVERY day. Every day
__________________
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Fri, 04/26/2013 - 22:46
#8
Well man, I guess your intent
Well man, I guess your intent was to show that everyone has problems and girls have problems too, which is true so fair enough. It's a good post in that regard.
I guess it just doesn't seem that bad to me. I was a hardcase, depressed, and had some pretty fucking terrible inner game. I got pretty much no results in my first year, but I made a ton of progress. So I know just how bad it sucks when you want something to happen faster more than anything else in the world, but there just is NO way you could be getting to your goal any faster than you currently are.. I mean, a lot of the time I didn't even know what I had to fix in order to get better. So to me.. this isn't that bad.
You're really big into meditation though, and you know her personally so you're a lot more connected and empathetic to this than I am.
I guess it just doesn't seem that bad to me. I was a hardcase, depressed, and had some pretty fucking terrible inner game. I got pretty much no results in my first year, but I made a ton of progress. So I know just how bad it sucks when you want something to happen faster more than anything else in the world, but there just is NO way you could be getting to your goal any faster than you currently are.. I mean, a lot of the time I didn't even know what I had to fix in order to get better. So to me.. this isn't that bad.
You're really big into meditation though, and you know her personally so you're a lot more connected and empathetic to this than I am.
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 23:06
#9
KFaR wrote:I think Manwhore
KFaR wrote:
I think Manwhore had an article that said 'how you do one thing is how you do everything' or something along those lines.
No fucking excuse to get your diet out of whack. Get in the gym. Eat well, lift hard.
You are doing work on women, do some work for yourself. I just got back from the gym!
Just to clarify- this was something written TO me by someone else.
Yes, I am overweight but I am making moves on it and I also don't let it effect my life in the way that this girl does.
And yes- I've been massively depressed, addicted to drugs etc. etc. blah blah blah
But, for whatever reasons, that experience actually just increased my compassion for other people going through tough times, as opposed to "hardening" me and making me calloused to the whole thing.
Sat, 04/27/2013 - 09:43
#10
I didn't read the entire
I didn't read the entire post, but in regards to weight loss ... what my experience has been is.. its directly correlated to how much you force yourself to do stuff in a given day.
Theres a book called WIllpower Intinsct which talks about this and really helped me with weight loss.., just having the belief that you have self control, causes you to have more self control. it turns out that we humans actually have a greater capacity for self control than we realize.
the truth is, you can build your self control using any thing, for example using exercise as an example, if you force yourself to do a specific workout plan , or run a certain miles every day, that same willpower 'resevoir' or muscle that you built up transfer over to other areas of your life such as implementing a certain belief or a certain diet.
Theres a book called WIllpower Intinsct which talks about this and really helped me with weight loss.., just having the belief that you have self control, causes you to have more self control. it turns out that we humans actually have a greater capacity for self control than we realize.
the truth is, you can build your self control using any thing, for example using exercise as an example, if you force yourself to do a specific workout plan , or run a certain miles every day, that same willpower 'resevoir' or muscle that you built up transfer over to other areas of your life such as implementing a certain belief or a certain diet.
Sat, 04/27/2013 - 09:43
#11
I didn't read the entire
I didn't read the entire post, but in regards to weight loss ... what my experience has been is.. its directly correlated to how much you force yourself to do stuff in a given day.
Theres a book called WIllpower Intinsct which talks about this and really helped me with weight loss.., just having the belief that you have self control, causes you to have more self control. it turns out that we humans actually have a greater capacity for self control than we realize.
the truth is, you can build your self control using any thing, for example using exercise as an example, if you force yourself to do a specific workout plan , or run a certain miles every day, that same willpower 'resevoir' or muscle that you built up transfer over to other areas of your life such as implementing a certain belief or a certain diet.
Theres a book called WIllpower Intinsct which talks about this and really helped me with weight loss.., just having the belief that you have self control, causes you to have more self control. it turns out that we humans actually have a greater capacity for self control than we realize.
the truth is, you can build your self control using any thing, for example using exercise as an example, if you force yourself to do a specific workout plan , or run a certain miles every day, that same willpower 'resevoir' or muscle that you built up transfer over to other areas of your life such as implementing a certain belief or a certain diet.