Do alpha's battle alpha's?
How do I deal with guys that are concerned with being overly dominant?
I consider myself an alpha, I'm a positive guy, I give my buddies great advice and overall support, I live up to my own standards. I've just felt so frustrated latey with other dudes around me, and it really brings out a bad side of me. There are a few specific situations that need to be addressed:
-How do I deal with dudes that constantly trash my knowledge? I don't talk outta my ass, and it really pisses me off when someone says I'm wrong especially in a selective context. For example, one of my friends the other day was telling that my workout schedule is wrong, that my whole reps/sets weren't "right". Bullshit, their are millions of workout routines out there, all with different content.
-How do I deal with dudes that are too physical? Recently I've dealt with a lot of guys that are way to in my face. They try to push me around and shit, it's not that I'm scared, i can hold my own... Just I personally like too have my own space. A few time i've snapped and told the dude to get his fucking hands off of me, but it normally just fuels their frame even more.
-How do I deal with dudes that won't let me learn? We all know that you can't be an expert at everything. I love to learn new sports, skills, etc. When i'm trying to learn something new, I'm okay with letting someone more knowledgable lead, but I do not appreaciate someone telling me I suck or I'm an idiot, unless it's in a very obvious joking manner.
When do I ignore these issues and when do I confront them? Whenever I set boundaries I come across as a tool.
SHITTY TITLE btw...these guys aren't alpha, more like ego based aggressiveness.
-How do I deal with dudes that constantly trash my knowledge? <--Patronize the shit outa them. Just be like, "Yeah, you're so right dude." "That's awesome." "Cool Beans man." and my personal favorite dismissal phrase, "God bless ya."
-How do I deal with dudes that are too physical? <--Guys don't touch each other. And if they do it's 100% a domination thing. Don't let other guys touch you. It's not ok. Set your boundaries on that shit.
-How do I deal with dudes that won't let me learn? <--Find someone who's mature and isn't ego tripping to learn from.
'k hold on man I just had this discussion the other night with my buddy. I am super physical with my guy friends. I suspect Buddha is the same way.. Sasha is that way with me (Daygame).. all my cool strong buddies are like that. Some of you guys have been brainwashed the other way by the community to think that physical touch is always AMOGING. Oh my gawd how sad.. in its purest form it is just the opposite. It's affection. Never let anything make you forget that
-How do I deal with dudes that constantly trash my knowledge? <--Patronize the shit outa them. Just be like, "Yeah, you're so right dude." "That's awesome." "Cool Beans man." and my personal favorite dismissal phrase, "God bless ya."-How do I deal with dudes that are too physical? <--Guys don't touch each other. And if they do it's 100% a domination thing. Don't let other guys touch you. It's not ok. Set your boundaries on that shit.
-How do I deal with dudes that won't let me learn? <--Find someone who's mature and isn't ego tripping to learn from.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Hmm, ok these are decently serious issues.
So guys that respect each other, do not "trash each other's knowledge" on silly, simple stuff like that. And they certainly don't push each other around. That is way over the top. If a guy does that to you you should just start pulling them in when they try to push you and trip them as they go by. Shoves are war I don't allow that shit, I use their energy to tool them. That's why older guys don't do stupid shit like that anymore. Grappling knowledge is too wide-spread. Only young guys do that. The first issue is simply a matter of vocal projection.. like I outlined in another reply today. I'll see if I can find it..
I see now why you're hitting me up for coaching. Yes it would do you good.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I love my bros. I touch them because of that. All the time.
It's like this really awesome feeling where there's pure love between you and a buddy and you just wanna squeeze him in a totally non sexual way. Like he's your buddy and he's doin well with a girl so you wanna go up and just put your arm around him in total support...
Buddha likes to give his buddies the "swan".
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
'k hold on man I just had this discussion the other night with my buddy. I am super physical with my guy friends. I suspect Buddha is the same way.. Sasha is that way with me (Daygame).. all my cool strong buddies are like that. Some of you guys have been brainwashed the other way by the community to think that physical touch is always AMOGING. Oh my gawd how sad.. in its purest form it is just the opposite. It's affection. Never let anything make you forget thatSupervillain wrote:
-How do I deal with dudes that constantly trash my knowledge? <--Patronize the shit outa them. Just be like, "Yeah, you're so right dude." "That's awesome." "Cool Beans man." and my personal favorite dismissal phrase, "God bless ya."-How do I deal with dudes that are too physical? <--Guys don't touch each other. And if they do it's 100% a domination thing. Don't let other guys touch you. It's not ok. Set your boundaries on that shit.
-How do I deal with dudes that won't let me learn? <--Find someone who's mature and isn't ego tripping to learn from.
I can agree with this, I can be a physical dude in a affectionate manner. I hug my bros, I've had friends break down and cry on my shoulder, I throw my buddies up on my shoulder and dance at parties, I love all that shit.
it's the whole macho man strength tests that I can't stand, when I know a dude's trying to establish some sort of dominance. I don't get this a lot, simply because I'm a strong dude and don't really look like someone to fuck with. I just don't get where the aggression comes from sometimes, I've noticed that the guys that do this to me do it to almsot everyone as well, but it's not something I'm going to put up with.
-How do I deal with dudes that constantly trash my knowledge? <--Patronize the shit outa them. Just be like, "Yeah, you're so right dude." "That's awesome." "Cool Beans man." and my personal favorite dismissal phrase, "God bless ya."
Perfect
The whole setting boundaries is new to me. I've always viewed unreactiveness as ignoring the problem, which has made me too passive. All these issues are defintely a matter of setting boundaries, and projecting them with the right tonaility and emotion.
Let me ammend my statement. When I said dudes I meant dudes who aren't your friends. I let buddies grab my ass or put the arm over the shoulder or give me friendly pushes. I get the whole affection thing.
The other side of the coin is, for example, I was at a bbq and my cousins friend (who I never get along with, haven't seen in years and is EXTREMELY ALPHA) stands next to me and strongly grips the back of my neck like I'm his little kid or something. That is absolutely not ok. The way I handled it was just to turn my body to face him and he was forced to take it off or look kinda gay like he was trying to kiss me or somthing.
Really the only place I'll let a strange guy touch me is a shoulder sqeeze or hand on the arm in a friendly fashion. I even limit that to an extent.
@Supervillian
this is the EXACT shit that pisses me off. Like MW mentioned and you've just explained I think this is best resolved minipulating THEIR energy, not giving them anything back.
Let me ammend my statement. When I said dudes I meant dudes who aren't your friends. I let buddies grab my ass or put the arm over the shoulder or give me friendly pushes. I get the whole affection thing.The other side of the coin is, for example, I was at a bbq and my cousins friend (who I never get along with, haven't seen in years and is EXTREMELY ALPHA) stands next to me and strongly grips the back of my neck like I'm his little kid or something. That is absolutely not ok. The way I handled it was just to turn my body to face him and he was forced to take it off or look kinda gay like he was trying to kiss me or somthing.
Really the only place I'll let a strange guy touch me is a shoulder sqeeze or hand on the arm in a friendly fashion. I even limit that to an extent.
lol i do this stuff to dudes, why does it piss you off?
One time I was chatting up these three girls at a bar in Louisville, this was back in the military, and this guy comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders on either side. I casually turn over one shoulder and say, "Get your fucking hands off me or I will kill you." He takes his hands off me like I'm a hot potato, and I go back to casually chatting up the ladies
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
One time I was chatting up these three girls at a bar in Louisville, this was back in the military, and this guy comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders on either side. I casually turn over one shoulder and say, "Get your fucking hands off me or I will kill you." He takes his hands off me like I'm a hot potato, and I go back to casually chatting up the ladies
Ha! one of my drunk buddies tried to choke me out, I told him that same exact thing.. He hasn't touched me since!
One time I was chatting up these three girls at a bar in Louisville, this was back in the military, and this guy comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders on either side. I casually turn over one shoulder and say, "Get your fucking hands off me or I will kill you." He takes his hands off me like I'm a hot potato, and I go back to casually chatting up the ladies
Was that guy bigger than you? Would you have said that even if he was?
@Buddha Do you let strange dudes come up behind you and touch you?
Haha id prob just grab him back.
The dude was way taller than me that's why he did it. He stood behind me and his head was visible over mine.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
If it had been Buddha I probably would have lightly cupped his nuts while we stood there chatting them up
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Haha id prob grab him back start jumping up and down and spilling my drink all over him while simaltanepusly forcing him to smile and laugh while I pushed him around