Creating emotional leverage in relationships

MW don't call me a massive faggot ;)

I've been enjoying being close with a girl lol and it's definitely something I need to experience deeply

Anyways just got off the phone and she pretty much said it 

"When i felt i had lost you and we weren't togther anymore it nearly killed me and I was pouring my eyes out. It made me realize how much i love being with you and how I can't be without you. And so i could never imagine leaving you." 

I think it's importnat to be able to walk away if you have to in order to stay true to yourself and support your standards. Only when a girl truly feels like she can lose you, will she truly be able to love you. 

It's funny because last night she was weighing and considering all these opttions for next year. Then when I completley pulled myself away and told her we're not going to workout, she realized holy fuck, i could never leave this guy at all, of ocurse I want to be with him. 

Don't get her pregnant

I like your story, so are you breaking up with her?

to me it sounds like thats exactly what you're doing. It might be just me but it seems a bit like abuse of the gaming knowledge. 

You put out what you want. Its just a school choice not life or death. So using emotional leverage on her pushing her into your choice is just natural for someone to express. I think if she moved away it would result in break up. So doing this crystalized the consequences of her decision, here and now. Instead of pretending it could work down the line. It was controlling but wasn't amoral. Efficient way to make the stakes of the decision clear for her.

Very well said. And I kinda knew she was going to fold and come to me. But I was definitely prepared to walk away if needed.  

And yeah, I'm going all gay twilgiht on the MW forums. Perhaps 

Oh.. young love! So gay 

DRAMA!

You will be harassing japanese women in no time

Dude.. Patrick.bateman in Japan.. that wouldn't be harassment that would be a geisha lovetrain. 

Lol what's with the self righteousness on these forums?

Not liking i'm being manipulative here. I'm just not going to pursue a relationship that is ending. If she wants to stay with me great, if not, that's cool too. 

Since when is drama game or harassing Japanese women is a bad thing, my mistake

This is not manipulative at all -  you're playing for keeps here. You addressed what was bothering you and it fell on her to make a choice. Thanks for sharing I thought this was cool. 

That was pretty fucking brilliant IMO PB, I don't think it was manipulative. The way I honestly saw it was, you were telling her what you were okay with, not okay with and what you wanted. You also gave her the option to explore and do whatever but you held true to what you value. Interesting way to use leverage. Also, I would have done the same in your shoes.

Yeah except he's fucking married to her now. Derp! 

Ok seems we lost a lot of good content and replies over the last couple days as I tried working with a developer to delete a bunch of forum spam.. anyway here was my response to Shikorah and Bateman:

Thank gawd someone as strong and forthright as Shikorah has spoken up. I can finally feel safe chiming in and saying my piece. I can agree with her viewpoint. 10 years ago I would have fought vehemently against such unthinking "overlord" control from someone like a boyfriend or parent. I was a high school counselor during some of my college days, I would rave about going to a four year right out of college instead of doing the community college thing. I was fed the dream and I believed it. "Go to the best college you can! Follow your dreams! You'll get a great job out of college and pay it all back! Money? What's money? You've never had to deal with money!"

It's a "big business education" lie. In the end it doesn't really matter what sort of university or college you go to. There are plenty of professionals such as doctors that did a j.c./community college and took a more circular route. In fact who knows, maybe that's a better path??

Bateman being a successful entrepreneur knows this instinctively. What matters more is her relationship. But what's most important is that she keep fostering her own growth and expanding her horizons. Frankly I don't think Bateman cuts it I think she's gonna have to start looking elsewhere, asap!

that bit about lost content would probably deserve its own thread

Okay I get what you're saying here I think. And in Canada it's even more universal, in that, all the universities are considered essentially equals. But as you said, your formal education is not a huge player in financial success. Hell, I lasted one year and am making more money than most university grads 10 years my senior.

And I think I see what you're saying at the end. Sure for a year or two I will be a great experience for her to grow and develop as a person. But eventually I'll be limiting her development. Holding her away from opportunities. And obviously this is apparent, becuase I am not able to ultimately support what she really wants. 

I'll care for her deeply, but only when I'm getting what I want. And I'll become indifferent and aloof when she doens't support that. So yes, the time will come when I'm taking more from her than I"m giving her. And that she needs new fresh lively experiences and she needs to break away.

Am i getting the right idea?  

That said, frankly I feel that I will reach that point before her. 

That I will need my own space and complete liberation before she gets to those terms. 

It's just funny how you get so enraptured with that one girl you really get along with and can't wait to see again. You tell yourself the story that this is the one. I didn't really see myself doing this, but I have. 

Formal education is indeed not that big of a deal - but does she know this? If she thinks that it is a big deal and later regrets choosing "you over college" and this gets turned into a limiting belief, that's one thing. If, however, she's onboard with the fact that it doesn't really matter where you go (other than for very specialised courses) then I guess there's no problem

This actually isn't even a relationship vs. education decision. 

The school in toronto has a better program for what she's interested in, and more co op / career opportunities. 

The disadvatntage is that it's not as much of a college experience. You don't get as much of the close knit rez like culture. And not the same degree of partying. 

So she'd be trading the full blown college experience for me.

I pretty much told her a while back. Being at school in toronto will not be as fun for the first year and maybe second year. But the third and fourth year will be way better (people get sick of small town schools by the 2nd or 3rd year) and sh'es going to have better work opportunitties and networking being in Toronto vs a smaller town like London ontario or Kingston 

Dude. That's the whole point you selfish cock. You already know you're going to get bored and take off, yet you want this girl to base her college choice off you? Bullshit 

Alright, well I'll tell her that I support her wherever she wants to go then.  

But yeah I don't know. There is a possibility that I'll be with her for a while. At-least that's what I see. I haven't found someone that I like being with this much. It's like we're greater than the sum of both parts. Pare of me doesn't want to leave that. 

Ahh sweet synergy

Real great point dude. 

im certainly happy that here's this moral discussion going on. i feel that in some circles game is completely striped of this part, and that is just wrong. i feel that the game is like marshall arts - needs to be used wisely or it can do a lot of harm.