Being Fully Present
January 10, 2012
This was an article posted up on RSD.
What is Being Present?
Being Present is to be You – the real you. The real you only exists in the present moment. Your feelings are calm. Your reflexes are fast. Your wit is quick. You are decisive. You know what you want. You know what’s right for you. You perform your best – public speaking, sports, music, relating to people. Your confidence is deep. You know you’re not perfect. This lets you be real. You accept you have weaknesses. So does everyone.
What’s right for You pops into your mind. Most of us are quite present when we first wake up. We “sleep” on our challenges. Then we wake up and we simply “know” what’s right for us. This is our spirituality speaking to us. When we are in touch with our soul, the source of our being and who we really are, we can move forward in confidence.
A racing mind is evidence that you don’t trust You. This condition of constant self-analysis disconnects you from your inner knowing. You experience inner conflict and second-guessing – struggling to be true to yourself, yet afraid others will hurt you if you do. Accidents happen more often, and people you love feel unloved by you, because you feel unloved by You.
Being present is the time frame you choose to focus on. There are only three possible time frames – past, present and future. Once you become aware of the thoughts you are having and the content of those thoughts, you will notice which timeframe you are in at any given time. You will begin to notice how often your thoughts and feelings are focused on the past or the future. Many people spend less than 1% of their time living in the present.
Being present means living with nothing to hide, nothing to prove and nothing to lose. This is how your mind, body, heart and soul become unified in that one moment. Time slows down. You are connecting with God – the eternal life force. In fact, the definition of eternity is the present moment. It has never NOT been the present moment, just as God has never not existed.
The path to being more real in the present is to stop comparing. You compare the present with what “should” be happening. The result of this is judgments. You judge situations, other people and ourselves. Judgments make it hard to be real. That’s because others will judge you right back, which hurts. The Bible tells us so in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge or you will be judged…”
Your ability to be present depends on You having good boundaries. That is the reason for the two hands in the Present Living logo. If you have weak boundaries, you will either lash out at others unjustly or you will be passive and let others run over you. When you are You, your focus is on self-control and self-responsibility. You don’t control others, nor do you let others control You.
Being present happens in an instant. So does not being present! An upsetting thoughts triggers emotions based on the past hurts or future fears. It happens in an instant and is highly dependent on how good your boundaries are. Both result in conflict and unhappiness rooted in past and future-based thoughts and feelings. This is the real You that you want to keep hidden.
Being present begins with NOTICING when you are trying to alter the present moment and learning what you can do about it. You move from seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances to a decisive person who makes wise choices in difficult, uncertain and even scary situations. Your self-confidence and self-trust grow tremendously, as does your faith. Our coaching services are used by people who want to be who they are while making wiser choices to have no regrets, no matter how things unfold.
Your memory is strong when You are in the present. Do you recall times that are very clear in your memory? All of you was in the “here and now” in those moments – in a first love, on a great vacation, with a trusted friend. Most people rely on external situations in which they feel safe, in order to be present. You will truly be You when you feel safe even in difficult, stressful, anxious situations – when people criticize you, when you make dumb mistakes, when you are in a financial or love life crisis.
TEN major benefits when you are more real in the present moment:
Five performance benefits:
1. Better performance under pressure. (you’re focused)
2. Improved listening and memory skills (you’re “present-minded”, not “absent-minded”)
3. Better conflict resolution (you don’t get emotionally ‘triggered’)
4. More persistence and ability to learn (you are more patient and tolerant of difficulties)
5. Wiser, clearer decisions (you don’t react out of habit)
Five health & relationship benefits:
1. Improved physical health & energy. (less stress & adrenaline)
2. More laughter and a playful outlook. (you’re at peace, so life is more joyful)
3. More honest & open communication (you have nothing to hide)
4. Confidence and conviction in leading others. (you can handle their criticisms)
5. Greater capacity for emotional intimacy. (you are comfortable in your own skin)