Too many times we go out attempting to be ladies men, or pimp daddies, or “manwhores”. But the problem is that whatever we’ve had going on in throughout our day is still weighing heavily on our minds. I’ve written up a lot of material on “being the prize”, or being a strong dominant force, being a leader etc. But there’s a problem. We can’t force this stuff. We can’t force ourselves to operate at any level, or perform in a headspace we’re not currently in.
If you’re having to ask yourself how you should be trying to “act” with a girl or in a social situation, because you’re simply not flowing.. then there’s no way you can decide to just be “dominant” or seductive. Just not going to happen. And this is coming from me.. a guy who thought he’d NEVER lose his superhero level of seduction game. Well I haven’t.. but after a long days work, setting up a business for months on end, not going out much and dealing with the complexities of life.. I’m just not going to be performing at ultra pimp level status every night right from the start. And I am pretty damn sure this is where most guys are at as well.
The solution is to just let go. We must let ourselves be. Just concentrate on having fun. No preconceived ideas or notions about what you want from girls or the people around you. Simply talk and laugh with your buddies. No pretenses. No pimpdaddy expectations on yourself. You are NOT a seduction artist. You’re just a dude talking to people having fun. Hell, maybe you can’t even decide to start having fun, maybe you just need to stand there and give yourself some space.. some time to chill out and be quiet. That’s cool as well I do it myself from time to time at a bar.
The other night I was visiting a couple of good buddies (one I hadn’t seen in a while) and we decided to go to a bar real quick just to hang out. I placed NO expectations on the night. I’m simply going just to hang out.
I tell my buddies as we’re walking down the street to the bar.. “Look.. tonight’s a bust. I’m sporting a beard!” )I’d forgotten my face clippers during my weeklong trip to Mexico so I had about 5 days worth of growth on my face..)
So we walk in, and as I mentioned earlier- I put NO expectations on the people I see or the people I talk to. I randomly talk about nonsense with the girl at the door. She’s got some weird accent from spain so I tell her to say in her accent “I like white boys with beards!” She looks up at me, tells me “I can say I like white boys, but I can’t say I like these..” as she waves her finger back and forth at my beard. I laugh at her and walk off. I shout to my buddies.. “see that? She says she doesn’t like my beard!“
I just chill with my buds off in a corner of the bar. Not thinking about anything, not about the girls I see or what “tactic” I should be practicing. I grab the waitress as she goes by. By her thumbs. Snatch them out of the air as she goes by. I thumbwar her and defeat her before she even knows what’s going on. Then as she talks to my buddies I crack her knuckles for her. As she knows I have no expectations of any of this, I’m just having fun, she’s in full compliance and just experiencing the funness of it with me.
I see a sexy redheaded milf with blue eyes dancing with a dude in a suit then texting on her phone. I say something to her real quick randomly then talk to my buddies again. I dance around in place, talk to my buddies, laugh, talk shit, sip my buddy’s beer, meet a couple other buddies who’ve showed up to the bar. Then I talk to the girl again. All this time I’m just NOT CARING. I’m saying whatever comes to mind to people as they walk by, some respond, others don’t, I don’t care. If they want to join in they can, I place no expectations on them. I can see this redhead is starting to watch me more and more, and then I just grab her and start dancing with her. She’s super receptive and starts grinding this thin tight little body against me. It turns me on pretty quick.
I tell her matter of factly. “Well you’ve kind of given me a boner, hope you don’t mind“, as I rub it against her. Apparently she doesn’t hear because 2 minutes later she tells me matter of factly.. “I’ve made your cock hard you know that?” and gleefully rubs her belly back and forth across it.
A minute later I try to kiss her and she turns her head. I go to kiss her again she turns her head again. I really don’t care. If she doesn’t want to kiss me but still wants to keep dancing with me that’s cool ‘cuz I got no other plans.
I turn her around and back her up against me, take her hand and put it on my cock. She rubs it a bit. Then turns back around.
She kind of “licks” at my lips, but won’t let me kiss her when I lean in. She’s being a tease for sure but I think its funny (important note: a girl’s not actually being a tease at ALL, it actually turns her on to rev up the tension like this!). I stand back from her a bit just doing my own thing. There’s a pause in our interaction. Then I yank her in and stick my hand down the front of her pants. I push it down as far as it will go, getting semi caught on the inside of her jeans and panties, making it down so I’m barely touching the top of her vagina, before getting bored over the whole thing and pulling my hand out. I don’t know if she was shocked by this whole thing or not. I don’t even remember how she reacted at all to it I was just doing it. But 3 seconds after I pull my hand out she takes it and sticks it back in lol. I finger her in the bar for a while. Her friend comes over and starts talking to her, I keep fingering her lol. Her friend sees something is going on and subtly raises objections to me being there. I handle this by casually engaging the friend then backing off.. not engaging her enough so she feels comfortable trying to get rid of me. I keep myself a mystery to her, a potentially uncomfortable situation in her mind if she decides to cockblock.
Anyways the friend doesn’t make a big deal out of it she simmers down and I go back to chillin’ with my girl. A minute or two later I feel her hand rubbing my dick through my pants again except I can tell she’s using both hands. Kind of interesting as she’s backed up against me. Then a minute or two later she gives me a shocker, “I hope you don’t mind, I made my girlfriend feel your hard dick too“. That hadn’t been just her.. both her AND her friend had been stroking my cock at the same time. Super hot. She asks me again if I minded. I tell her no lol.
We make out off and on for several minutes. We make plans to fuck (lol yep those were the plans made), and then my buddies and I take off. There’s no way it could go down tonight as logistics are fucked. I’m really just not tripping too hard over it to be honest.
There’s a few other things that go down, but that’s the gist. I start talking REALLY dirty to her and she responds enthusiastically. I tell her I have really big loads, and she tells me to cum on her then starts trying to qualify me on my sexual stamina lol.
The point is where all this was derived from. It didn’t come from me trying to be mr. seduction ladies man. It came from me just having fun and not trying to make anything happen. I just chilled out and responded to social situations in a fun manner.
Now I’d have to say matter of factly that if you’re knew to this skillset of improving yourself with women, this might not be the article for you. You DO want to force yourself to get out there and talk to girls. Just standing around waiting for something to happen might be too close to those years of chodery where you got nothing accomplished. BUT the big lesson for you to take away from this article is this: give yourself NO expectations. Don’t walk up to a girl trying to be mr. pickup man. Just walk up and be living life.. not worried about anything that could happen, no expectations.