Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 04:48
Long story short, he started working with a early-30s chick about once a week. He is the most genuine guy I know. 100% in his own reality, never does shit for others or care what they think. Just an awesome guy. But throughout his teens he has struggled with bouts of depression. Runs in the family, as does alcoholism, suicide, etc. Anywho so he started working with this chick and they became close. Really close. They both had good intentions. She has a husband and 3 kids. Doesn't get along well with her husband so she got along with my buddy cause she could open up to someone on the same wave length. He enjoyed giving her advice and talking to someone older. Eventually their relationship progressed over two years to the point where they were talking everyday. They did kiss, just once but both agreed to never do it again and followed through with that. But he told me he did fall in love with her. They clicked, he thought she had a great personality, blah blah blah. Her husband (who has cheated on her in the past) finds out and since their relationship was already on the rocks this blew shit apart. The husband goes and tells her entire family and all their friends. Im cutting a lot of details but yeah, shit hit the fan. Marriage is broken, they ran their own buisness so now that is blown up, they are all worried about her kids now, her and his family hates her, her friends think she is a scumbag, the works. every shitty thing possible. And apparently now this whole time her husband was seeing someone but no one knows that, she still looks like the one who ruined things.
So my buddy who is only 22 and doesn't have much experience has all this weight on his chest. I feel so fucking bad for him. Sick to my stomach. I love this little guy and he is sooo down and depressed. He has fucked his chances in a huge health contest he was running in. Went from first place to middle of the pack. He has developed an on/off debilitating skin rash purely from stress. He barely does anything social anymore. Has outbursts on his family for small shit. He said he felt like killing himself (don't know if that means consider suicide or not, either way it's close to it). He has this girl whose so damn lost in the world and wants to get back with her husband but he is a cunt. She is looking to my friend for help/advice and he can't really do too much without sacrificing his entire life. Just an absolutely shitty situation.
I've tried talking to him about it logically. Tried introducing him to a bit of eastern philosophy. Tried just consoling him. But fuck. Its been several months now and shits not getting better. I really want to help this guy out. What do you think I should and can do? What does HE need to do? I tried telling him that the shitty thing is over, now he needs to put it aside and move forward with lessons learned. I mean like fuck. If he is able to handle this and learn from it in a few years he will be a rock.
I don't know what to tell him. Any of you wise grey headed mother fuckers out there have any advice? I've been down in the gutter before and it fucking sucks. There is no light at the end of the tunnel when your down there but once you get out of that smog you realize that feeling like shit does nothing to help the situation.
Thoughts?
So my buddy who is only 22 and doesn't have much experience has all this weight on his chest. I feel so fucking bad for him. Sick to my stomach. I love this little guy and he is sooo down and depressed. He has fucked his chances in a huge health contest he was running in. Went from first place to middle of the pack. He has developed an on/off debilitating skin rash purely from stress. He barely does anything social anymore. Has outbursts on his family for small shit. He said he felt like killing himself (don't know if that means consider suicide or not, either way it's close to it). He has this girl whose so damn lost in the world and wants to get back with her husband but he is a cunt. She is looking to my friend for help/advice and he can't really do too much without sacrificing his entire life. Just an absolutely shitty situation.
I've tried talking to him about it logically. Tried introducing him to a bit of eastern philosophy. Tried just consoling him. But fuck. Its been several months now and shits not getting better. I really want to help this guy out. What do you think I should and can do? What does HE need to do? I tried telling him that the shitty thing is over, now he needs to put it aside and move forward with lessons learned. I mean like fuck. If he is able to handle this and learn from it in a few years he will be a rock.
I don't know what to tell him. Any of you wise grey headed mother fuckers out there have any advice? I've been down in the gutter before and it fucking sucks. There is no light at the end of the tunnel when your down there but once you get out of that smog you realize that feeling like shit does nothing to help the situation.
Thoughts?
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 05:21
#1
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
@icewahine:
Make him listen to Practicing PON
Make him listen to Practicing PON
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 05:23
#2
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
@icewahine:
Listen to it with him and then discuss it. Done this before its cool
Listen to it with him and then discuss it. Done this before its cool
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 09:14
#3
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
@icewahine:
Ok ya this kind of thing has been popping up on the forum pretty frequently the last couple days starting with Buddha then pepsi-cola throwing something in the mix. There's two sides to these kinds of situations.. the yin and yang. The yin is Tolle, and the surrender and emotional strength to not get lost in something he can't control. But then there's the yang.. and that's the active/proactive "taking control" of the situation.
The dude's a dude. He needs to handle it like a dude. When he felt a complete loss of control over the situation he felt lost in general. This is Dude 101.
You need to help his ass take some control over this.
I know it is probably a bit overboard, but it will help you to imagine if something like this happened to me, lol. I would be knocking on doors, going into people's jobs, talking to their bosses.. this would not lie still.. until I had fixed it. No girl of mine gets fucked over by a bitch fuck husband who can't handle his shit. Ask Buddhagames how he handles family members stepping out of line. He makes them run crying out of the room. Yup
Ok ya this kind of thing has been popping up on the forum pretty frequently the last couple days starting with Buddha then pepsi-cola throwing something in the mix. There's two sides to these kinds of situations.. the yin and yang. The yin is Tolle, and the surrender and emotional strength to not get lost in something he can't control. But then there's the yang.. and that's the active/proactive "taking control" of the situation.
The dude's a dude. He needs to handle it like a dude. When he felt a complete loss of control over the situation he felt lost in general. This is Dude 101.
You need to help his ass take some control over this.
I know it is probably a bit overboard, but it will help you to imagine if something like this happened to me, lol. I would be knocking on doors, going into people's jobs, talking to their bosses.. this would not lie still.. until I had fixed it. No girl of mine gets fucked over by a bitch fuck husband who can't handle his shit. Ask Buddhagames how he handles family members stepping out of line. He makes them run crying out of the room. Yup
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 09:15
#4
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
Alex123;686.5087;99 wrote:
Listen to it with him and then discuss it. Done this before its cool
Think about how we discussed the handling of your last situation..
Being proactive, recording facts, being strong in your communication. TELLING them how to perceive you.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 14:44
#5
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
@Manwhore:
Oh holy fuckballs. Okay... In THIS situation, I know exactly how I would handle this.
I would find a way to get it across to every single person involved that the husband was cheating on her, had fucked other women blah blah... What manwhore said is fucking INTESNSE and pretty fucking BAD ASS..... Just straight walking into the dudes work .... DAMN.
Oh holy fuckballs. Okay... In THIS situation, I know exactly how I would handle this.
I would find a way to get it across to every single person involved that the husband was cheating on her, had fucked other women blah blah... What manwhore said is fucking INTESNSE and pretty fucking BAD ASS..... Just straight walking into the dudes work .... DAMN.
Sat, 06/16/2012 - 06:01
#6
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
Right. This is a scenario where active work is needed.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Tue, 06/19/2012 - 00:05
#7
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
Awesome. Sorry I've been mia on this forum for a bit but your guys advice is amazing! Like spot on. But this situation is right fucked. I initially found out about this 2-3 months ago and thought he was doing better recently. I just talked to him about this and he is still feeling like shit. FUCK! When this man hurts, I hurt. I love him. Yes homo.
So I told him a bit about what he needs to do. Ying and Yang shit like what manwhore said. He completely agrees 100% but I think he is having some problems doing anything with all this fog and haze around him. I told him a bit about how to handle emotions better and will introduced him to mr tolle pretty soon. I told him he'll get through this if he works at it and will be a better man for it and his reply was
him - "Yes I fucked up someones life up so bad but mine will go on perfectly and there will be no problems!"
haha he likes to fuck around even when he is feeling like shit but you get what he meant. hes saying how can he find the good in a smelly old piece of shit from a ugly fat lady with a bad personality. amoung other shit I told him like look obviously the situation is terrible but say you were diagnosed with cancer. yes its horrible but if you take your emotions out of it there are only two things you can do. accept you have cancer, and then take action to help it like surgery or chemo.
he got what i was saying, i said a lot more along those lines too. i doubt it helped him feel any better but hopefully it'll start instilling the right mindset in him.
as for right action i told him what you guys said. he should go fucking burn that guys house down figuratively for being a dick and he says there isn't much he can do.
shes not POSITIVE the husband was cheating on her. just has her extreme suspicions (he used to cheat a while ago). my bud is sure the husband will actually kill him should he find out who he is. the husband is connected to the mafia. the couple owned their own company so its not like he can restore relations with her job... her boss was her husband. and from the perspective of all her family and friends she looks like the dick weed because emtional abuse is kinda normal compared to seeing a 22 year old on the side... even though the former is wayy more evil..
so like. what action can he really take? im at a lost on this one as much as he is. aside from coming to terms with the husband (calling him up, telling him in a cool manner what a chode he is) which will do shit for the chicks life what can he do? the chicks life is fucked and there isn't much he can do. he is there for her emotionally as much as he can but its not like he can or wants to move in with her and support her kids. he was never obligated to nor should he feel like he has too.
thouhts? Anyways im going to see if I can help him getting control of his emotions. I was in that same spot as him like 2-3 years ago and he took a looonngggg time to get back to normal from where i was because i didn't know about all this stuff. im hoping he doesnt have to wait that long to be happy and normal again. so coaching advice welcomed too ;)
So I told him a bit about what he needs to do. Ying and Yang shit like what manwhore said. He completely agrees 100% but I think he is having some problems doing anything with all this fog and haze around him. I told him a bit about how to handle emotions better and will introduced him to mr tolle pretty soon. I told him he'll get through this if he works at it and will be a better man for it and his reply was
him - "Yes I fucked up someones life up so bad but mine will go on perfectly and there will be no problems!"
haha he likes to fuck around even when he is feeling like shit but you get what he meant. hes saying how can he find the good in a smelly old piece of shit from a ugly fat lady with a bad personality. amoung other shit I told him like look obviously the situation is terrible but say you were diagnosed with cancer. yes its horrible but if you take your emotions out of it there are only two things you can do. accept you have cancer, and then take action to help it like surgery or chemo.
he got what i was saying, i said a lot more along those lines too. i doubt it helped him feel any better but hopefully it'll start instilling the right mindset in him.
as for right action i told him what you guys said. he should go fucking burn that guys house down figuratively for being a dick and he says there isn't much he can do.
shes not POSITIVE the husband was cheating on her. just has her extreme suspicions (he used to cheat a while ago). my bud is sure the husband will actually kill him should he find out who he is. the husband is connected to the mafia. the couple owned their own company so its not like he can restore relations with her job... her boss was her husband. and from the perspective of all her family and friends she looks like the dick weed because emtional abuse is kinda normal compared to seeing a 22 year old on the side... even though the former is wayy more evil..
so like. what action can he really take? im at a lost on this one as much as he is. aside from coming to terms with the husband (calling him up, telling him in a cool manner what a chode he is) which will do shit for the chicks life what can he do? the chicks life is fucked and there isn't much he can do. he is there for her emotionally as much as he can but its not like he can or wants to move in with her and support her kids. he was never obligated to nor should he feel like he has too.
thouhts? Anyways im going to see if I can help him getting control of his emotions. I was in that same spot as him like 2-3 years ago and he took a looonngggg time to get back to normal from where i was because i didn't know about all this stuff. im hoping he doesnt have to wait that long to be happy and normal again. so coaching advice welcomed too ;)
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 02:42
#8
Re: Natural Friend helped ruined someones life. what do
@icewahine:
Tell him to help her take an active stance on shaping the relationships she can and should manage. Like with her friends.
He needs to step up and help her in SOME way. That is enough. It's not necessarily "winning" or fixing the issue that makes a guy feel fulfilled, it's the fact he's stepping up and trying.
Tell him to help her take an active stance on shaping the relationships she can and should manage. Like with her friends.
He needs to step up and help her in SOME way. That is enough. It's not necessarily "winning" or fixing the issue that makes a guy feel fulfilled, it's the fact he's stepping up and trying.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male