It's that time of the year again..pooh-pooh my texting
Me: A little about myself. I smoke trees stack paper and kill people as well
Me: Would you like to go on a date
Her: only if you could accept the fact that I'm basically an elderly woman stuck in a 24-year old body who cherishes naps and daytime tv
Me: In full agreement with nap.s The daytime TV is going to take getting used to.
Me: Willing to make the sacrifice cause we both understand: shrek is love, shrek is life
Her: Fine we can just marathon all the sheets instead of day time tv and we can reenact our favorite scenes
Me: I'm pretty sure you meant in the sheets, unless you also have an undisclosed interest in exchel spreadsheets
Me: I also accept that offer. Txt xxx-xxx-xxxx with your favourite TV show
(9hrs later)
Me: Black tie? A little formal don't you think boo
Me: Californication
Me: Ever watch movies or are we just Netflix binging
Her: It's a great show okay!
Her: I've never even heard of that
Her: I'm a Netflix binge watcher forsure. Can't even tell you the last movie I went to
Me: Just teasing beb :P never watched it
Me: oh, I have much to teach you
Me: Movies (can) communicate much deeper emotions that a bite size of Netflix
(2 days later at 2:00AM)
Her: Yeah I guess you're right but also I'm in it for the long haul so I love shows that really develop over the episodes where movies only last 2 hours
Her: Sorry I just got home from
Work
(13hrs later)
Me: Sheesh. I didn’t know you were slaving away in a sweat shop lol (Playful jab with the help of Aeq)
Me: Marathoning a show right now. The writers have to take certain liberties from episode to episode to reintroduce a protagonist the audience hasn't seen in a week. It gets a lil redundant
Her: Close. I work at a restaurant so the manual labour and emotional abuse can be comparable (admitting something that might be considered "embarassing" another sign she likes me)
Her: Yeah but it depends what kinda shows you're into as well. Murder/crime related shows are my go
Me: Aww boo...If we end up hanging I'll be the one to serve you (she pushed herself over, I caught her)
Me: Are we talking more
Dexter or Law & order SVU
Me: I'm getting the slightest axe murderer vibe
Her: Law and order! Although Dexter was good too
Her: Haha no I just find those shows so interesting how's your night going (she texts me back at 11:43PM on valentines day, basically an invitation)
(3hrs later)
Me: Quite a romantic evening actually.
Me: Buried in paperwork so I said F-this, burned all the files, cleared the safe..then drove home whistling my fav 90s tune (I was dsitracted with work, had I recognized her invitation I would have texted, trasnitioned to a call, then drove to her)
Me: Yourself?
Her: Sounds the start of a great "find yourself" kinda movie. Can I join? (trasnlation: you seem to be so oblivious to my obvious itnerest that I'm just going to state it outright)
Her: Well it was a nice quiet evening as the girls and I went out for dinner but then upon leaving, I noticed someone backed into my car and basically I got a nice $4000 worth of damages done to my car so it was quite pleasant (at this point she doesn't even know what to do)
Me: Mmm...rear ended on valentines day? Where was I (vulgar introduction of sexuality, feels shoehorned)
Me: That really depends boo. Are you the love of my life, or a seductive vixen wanting me to take her down a luxurious path of hedonistic self destruction (I'm spinning my wheels because I didn't recognize what was actually happening)
Her: I'd like to consider me self the donkey to your Shrek. Just a supportive companion with a few good jokes (backing away, correct response is a playful poke back at this)
Her: the only rear ending that should be happening on Valentine's Day
Me: Lmao fine fine, a lil too vulgar for the chaste virg..donkey (this is the wrong way to do what I stated above)
Me: Tell me about yourself
Me: What do you like to do besides marathoning crime drama and being a shrek fanatic
No holds barred guys, I'm going to be very forthcoming with what was happening in my mind. The reason I included the hours of response is because I feel like they played a role. I felt some needyness and that's why I pussed out on pulling the trigger. Reminder to self: girls owe me nothing.
Also I'm quite clearly still experiencing some lack of internal worth, because I'm not perceiving or even believing this girl was cooked so early on.
The last text I sent out was yesterday afternoon, no response since. I still want to take a shot. Planning to re-engage and to feel her out but come across as much more of a closer this time around to correct the mistakes of this convo. Any suggestions?
Well you didn't pull the trigger on valentine's day, but you were supposed to even before that. This whole thing is just lagging. She already expressed a lot of interest you should have made logistics happen. It got so bad she even tried to get you out on valentine's day. While you played elmer fudd. Whatever dude this is just sad, lol. You now got her calling herself donkey to your shrek. She tried to have a good time on valentine's, tried to get you out, but got $4k damage to her car instead. Wa wa wa. No wonder girls turn bitter and indifferent.
You need to be way more aggressive, dude. You're playing like you're still on training wheels. Pff
Used some Jeffy lines then couldn't handle the speed? Learn to fly, bitch
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Me: Excuse me. We seem to have matched
Me: A little about myself. I smoke trees stack paper and kill people as well
Me: Would you like to go on a date
Her: only if you could accept the fact that I'm basically an elderly woman stuck in a 24-year old body who cherishes naps and daytime tv
Me: In full agreement with nap.s The daytime TV is going to take getting used to.
Me: Willing to make the sacrifice cause we both understand: shrek is love, shrek is life
Her: Fine we can just marathon all the sheets instead of day time tv and we can reenact our favorite scenes
Me: I'm pretty sure you meant in the sheets, unless you also have an undisclosed interest in exchel spreadsheets
Me: I also accept that offer. Txt xxx-xxx-xxxx with your favourite TV show
^ You're done here, basically. Your texting should have segued right into logistics.
Her: Suits
Me: I'm bullet proof underneath my suit. I'll let you test this theory. But I'm picking the netflix
Immediately go into logistics. You got this girl hot 'n bothered and then took it exactly nowhere.
Her: Suits
Me: Black tie? A little formal don't you think boo
Me: Californication
Me: Ever watch movies or are we just Netflix binging
Her: It's a great show okay!
Her: I've never even heard of that
Her: I'm a Netflix binge watcher forsure. Can't even tell you the last movie I went to
Me: Just 'cuz you like to be in control too much lol. I told you, I'm picking the netflix. AND I'm picking best spot on couch you can have the scraps
See? That sort of thing
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Beautiful. Thank you.
Yes, I'm taking your texts here as blueprints and will start closing harder. Also, ofcourse, I can only imagine how frustrating must've been for her dealing with me here. Will re-engage in a day and update the thread on how that goes.
brb changing the kiddie skis in favor of this bad boy
You really disappointed her.
Something like, "Sorry about your valentine's. It's not you it's them. They'll never deserve your sparkles you'll just have to beat them till they sparkle too"
^ That's a bit meta but may give you some ideas, some real room to play. You went so far with those initial messages then just sat on the result.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male