TonightX2
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 06:47
Okay so this was previously the "I got a makeout thread" lmao, but I'm home now so gonna throw up the whole report. Just to warn you guys- my reports are going to be VERY detailed from here on out, cause, well, I'm not blacking out lmao. So like I basically remember every fucking detail of each interaction.
Okay so here it goes:
Okay so tonight was alright. I'm really stoked about the makeout lmao, mainly cause I totally called it in my last post.
Anyway- I got a super late start, especially cause it was a Monday and ended up getting to the bar close to 1AM
So I switched one major thing up about my daily routine that I think made a HUGE difference tonight. So I usually do my meditation in the mornings or after I get back, like right before bed but today I did it right before I went out. So like im heading down and I feel relatively calm. I have some nerves but nothing hugely major. I walk outside and just start howling likea coyote lmao and just clapping my hands and boppin to a little song in my head.
I get down to the les and pop my headphones on for the walk there. Get to the bar and head in... I'm feeling okay. Not amazing, just like okay... I got some nerves but no big deal.
I walk in and see little groups of people and head upstairs to check out my dance floor. There's like two girls and one of em is dancing and I walk right up, grab her hand and give er' the ol' "What's up"... No shaking. No nerves... Boys, I'm in the fucking zone. I give her intense eye contact and I know she's hooked. It was a super strong approach. Very happy about it.
She's from Denmark and doesn't speak much English so she's immediately grabbing me and whispering into my ear and I'm just standing there likea rock. Trying to keep solid posture and whatnot.
We chat a bit and I just put my hands out, kinda just like expecting her to grab them. and she does. When I put my hands out I just kept vey solid eye contact and felt VERY relaxed. So she grabs my hands and I give her a little spin and then pull her in and let go and then grab one hand and im just like, "Come with me im gonna get a drink" lol really I just wanted to move her around. So we get to the bar and we start talking... Lmao let me put that differently, SHE starts talking. haha I legit was laughing the whole time cause she wouldn't stop talking. lol like I was laughing out loud so much, cause she just kept rambling about the weirdest things. Like telling me all the places she's been to in the US and a bunch of other stuff lmao I really wasn't listening.
Oh so the whole time im just giving her MONEY eye contact and I can tell she wants to makeout. Like at one point she starts leaning in so her tit is touching my shoulder and she's not moving it. So then at some point during her ramble I just interrupt her and grab her waist and im like come sit down (oh at this point I had moved to a seated position so that she was stnading and talking to me) Also- I never turned towards her... Not sure if I was supposed to or not but I would just look over with my head. But then eventually after a while I grab her waist and am just like, "Come sit down" and guide her over to me but she doesn't sit and just starddles me and so I let her talk some more and keep up the unrelenting eye contact. Then when I feel the moment, I just put my hand on the back of her head and pull in for the makeout- game on.
We make out for a bit and then she pulls away and is just like, "I can't" and I look back with serious eye contact and actually inside I was smiling cause I knew she could and I knew she wanted to and I knew she was just being silly. And so becuase of this I just smiled on the outside and was like, "Okay" and held the eye contact and we continued talking and then a little later I went in again and it was on.
Lmao and this time I pulled back and she tried to get more but I didn't let her. Just smiled and gave eye contact.
Ugh, but where I fucked up was at some point I was like, "I think your sexy" but I knew it wasn't coming from the right place. I was chasing and I knew it and like clockwork she goes, "I guess I just don't feel the same" hahahaha I laughed at this on the inside cause it was just so honest. And again I just smile and I'm like, "okay". And we keep talking and then I go in for the makeout again and it's still on. Lol I was slightly confused but wtvr, fair enough.
I get up and grab her hand and take her to the dance floor and we dance a while. I'm not stifled. I'm gettin down like jsean. No big deal. And then idk, I just get bored and we sit down and talk for a bit and I'm just like, "Okay, I'm gonna go" and I head off into the sunset.
I knew the logistics weren't there for a fuck (she was leaving to go back to denmark on wednesday and I had already gone for the # and she was like... I'm leaving...) and I didn't feel like spending my whole night with her cause I also wanted to get my approaches in.
So I head downstairs and its all groups of girls and guys and in my head I'm just like, "Fuck"
Lol, so eventually, I get my balls together and head up to, what seemed like the least invested of all the girls- but also, the hottest girl in the bar and give her some eye contact a "hey". lol she's just like, "What" and I'm like, "What's up. What's your name" and she's like, "Oh were leaving" and Im just like, "oh okay" .. "Did you have a bad night?"- cause she was just being so dismissing (manwhore textgame in action lmao) and she's like, "No Im having a great night- how about you?" and I'm like, "It's been good. Pretty fun" and then, like a true chode I asked her name again and this time she told me and then got up and left. LMFAO hahhaa seriously. But I gotta give her a tip of the hat. She was very polite about it all.
So then I walk out to the street and it was totally dead so I'm thinking, "Fuck I gotta find something" and so I just walk around for a while and there are NO girls out... like ZERO. a
But eventually I spot two girls just hangin out and go up and do a fucking situational opener... It was really fucking weak. Not happy about this. It's just so fucking pussy lmao.
They are friendly though and I'm kinda tired so we chat for a bit, I get there names and bounce. It was an okay night. One very solid set and two pretty lame ones but hell im doin it so all is good and like jesus I can remember everything and just writing it up I learn so much, it's great.
So yeah, tonight was awesome because I had a little anxiety but like the second I grabbed the first girls hand it COMPLETELY dissapeared and I just had that like rock solid feeling in my chest that is just very calm and I could feel my breathing and the eye contact was there... I felt VERY calm. It was great. But it's also good to know that I don't need this feeling to approach. Either way- I was gonna get it done.
Another thing I noticed is that when I see dudes with super hot chicks I don't get jealous at all lmao, in fact, the first thing that pops into my head is, "That's cool... in a little while that's gonna be me.. can't wait" Like idk guys, It's just like not even a question in my mind... I'm gonna be fucking some REALLY REALLY HOT girls in my future : )
Oh also- so groups of girls and guys are tough for me to approach... also- It's funny cause I'm pretty hard on myself, but at the same time, I recognize this and do a solid job reassuring myself, that it's okay that I didn't get the fuck on my like 3rd night of my challenge LMFAO... seriously, one of the first thoughts in my head was like, "Damn, I didn't have sex" I just have very high expectations for myself, but it's cool, I realize that they are there and I also realize that I'm putting in the work and I'm REALLY REALLY fucking happy with myself about that and proud of myself for that.
Also- there's something really cool about doing it all sober and alone. kinda feel like a badass, like I just go in- snipe my girl and walk off into the sunste. This is going to make me a man, folks. Mark my words.
Okay so here it goes:
Okay so tonight was alright. I'm really stoked about the makeout lmao, mainly cause I totally called it in my last post.
Anyway- I got a super late start, especially cause it was a Monday and ended up getting to the bar close to 1AM
So I switched one major thing up about my daily routine that I think made a HUGE difference tonight. So I usually do my meditation in the mornings or after I get back, like right before bed but today I did it right before I went out. So like im heading down and I feel relatively calm. I have some nerves but nothing hugely major. I walk outside and just start howling likea coyote lmao and just clapping my hands and boppin to a little song in my head.
I get down to the les and pop my headphones on for the walk there. Get to the bar and head in... I'm feeling okay. Not amazing, just like okay... I got some nerves but no big deal.
I walk in and see little groups of people and head upstairs to check out my dance floor. There's like two girls and one of em is dancing and I walk right up, grab her hand and give er' the ol' "What's up"... No shaking. No nerves... Boys, I'm in the fucking zone. I give her intense eye contact and I know she's hooked. It was a super strong approach. Very happy about it.
She's from Denmark and doesn't speak much English so she's immediately grabbing me and whispering into my ear and I'm just standing there likea rock. Trying to keep solid posture and whatnot.
We chat a bit and I just put my hands out, kinda just like expecting her to grab them. and she does. When I put my hands out I just kept vey solid eye contact and felt VERY relaxed. So she grabs my hands and I give her a little spin and then pull her in and let go and then grab one hand and im just like, "Come with me im gonna get a drink" lol really I just wanted to move her around. So we get to the bar and we start talking... Lmao let me put that differently, SHE starts talking. haha I legit was laughing the whole time cause she wouldn't stop talking. lol like I was laughing out loud so much, cause she just kept rambling about the weirdest things. Like telling me all the places she's been to in the US and a bunch of other stuff lmao I really wasn't listening.
Oh so the whole time im just giving her MONEY eye contact and I can tell she wants to makeout. Like at one point she starts leaning in so her tit is touching my shoulder and she's not moving it. So then at some point during her ramble I just interrupt her and grab her waist and im like come sit down (oh at this point I had moved to a seated position so that she was stnading and talking to me) Also- I never turned towards her... Not sure if I was supposed to or not but I would just look over with my head. But then eventually after a while I grab her waist and am just like, "Come sit down" and guide her over to me but she doesn't sit and just starddles me and so I let her talk some more and keep up the unrelenting eye contact. Then when I feel the moment, I just put my hand on the back of her head and pull in for the makeout- game on.
We make out for a bit and then she pulls away and is just like, "I can't" and I look back with serious eye contact and actually inside I was smiling cause I knew she could and I knew she wanted to and I knew she was just being silly. And so becuase of this I just smiled on the outside and was like, "Okay" and held the eye contact and we continued talking and then a little later I went in again and it was on.
Lmao and this time I pulled back and she tried to get more but I didn't let her. Just smiled and gave eye contact.
Ugh, but where I fucked up was at some point I was like, "I think your sexy" but I knew it wasn't coming from the right place. I was chasing and I knew it and like clockwork she goes, "I guess I just don't feel the same" hahahaha I laughed at this on the inside cause it was just so honest. And again I just smile and I'm like, "okay". And we keep talking and then I go in for the makeout again and it's still on. Lol I was slightly confused but wtvr, fair enough.
I get up and grab her hand and take her to the dance floor and we dance a while. I'm not stifled. I'm gettin down like jsean. No big deal. And then idk, I just get bored and we sit down and talk for a bit and I'm just like, "Okay, I'm gonna go" and I head off into the sunset.
I knew the logistics weren't there for a fuck (she was leaving to go back to denmark on wednesday and I had already gone for the # and she was like... I'm leaving...) and I didn't feel like spending my whole night with her cause I also wanted to get my approaches in.
So I head downstairs and its all groups of girls and guys and in my head I'm just like, "Fuck"
Lol, so eventually, I get my balls together and head up to, what seemed like the least invested of all the girls- but also, the hottest girl in the bar and give her some eye contact a "hey". lol she's just like, "What" and I'm like, "What's up. What's your name" and she's like, "Oh were leaving" and Im just like, "oh okay" .. "Did you have a bad night?"- cause she was just being so dismissing (manwhore textgame in action lmao) and she's like, "No Im having a great night- how about you?" and I'm like, "It's been good. Pretty fun" and then, like a true chode I asked her name again and this time she told me and then got up and left. LMFAO hahhaa seriously. But I gotta give her a tip of the hat. She was very polite about it all.
So then I walk out to the street and it was totally dead so I'm thinking, "Fuck I gotta find something" and so I just walk around for a while and there are NO girls out... like ZERO. a
But eventually I spot two girls just hangin out and go up and do a fucking situational opener... It was really fucking weak. Not happy about this. It's just so fucking pussy lmao.
They are friendly though and I'm kinda tired so we chat for a bit, I get there names and bounce. It was an okay night. One very solid set and two pretty lame ones but hell im doin it so all is good and like jesus I can remember everything and just writing it up I learn so much, it's great.
So yeah, tonight was awesome because I had a little anxiety but like the second I grabbed the first girls hand it COMPLETELY dissapeared and I just had that like rock solid feeling in my chest that is just very calm and I could feel my breathing and the eye contact was there... I felt VERY calm. It was great. But it's also good to know that I don't need this feeling to approach. Either way- I was gonna get it done.
Another thing I noticed is that when I see dudes with super hot chicks I don't get jealous at all lmao, in fact, the first thing that pops into my head is, "That's cool... in a little while that's gonna be me.. can't wait" Like idk guys, It's just like not even a question in my mind... I'm gonna be fucking some REALLY REALLY HOT girls in my future : )
Oh also- so groups of girls and guys are tough for me to approach... also- It's funny cause I'm pretty hard on myself, but at the same time, I recognize this and do a solid job reassuring myself, that it's okay that I didn't get the fuck on my like 3rd night of my challenge LMFAO... seriously, one of the first thoughts in my head was like, "Damn, I didn't have sex" I just have very high expectations for myself, but it's cool, I realize that they are there and I also realize that I'm putting in the work and I'm REALLY REALLY fucking happy with myself about that and proud of myself for that.
Also- there's something really cool about doing it all sober and alone. kinda feel like a badass, like I just go in- snipe my girl and walk off into the sunste. This is going to make me a man, folks. Mark my words.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 08:59
#1
Re: TonightX2
@buddhagames:
I gotta get out there earlier though, I can't keep getting back at like 3 or 4 am...
I also got absolutely FUCKED by the subways tonight. Heading back I waited like an hour for it.. fucking rediculous.
I gotta get out there earlier though, I can't keep getting back at like 3 or 4 am...
I also got absolutely FUCKED by the subways tonight. Heading back I waited like an hour for it.. fucking rediculous.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 09:07
#2
Re: TonightX2
@buddhagames:
Dude, I'm totally gonna go out solo and sober and have sex by the end of this challenge. It's gonna be awesome.
Like seriously, I really think I have the potential to become a huge beast at this. haha (I'm kinda joking here) but seriously. I know it sounds crazy, but like I think I could get really good at this if I keep working hard and have the stamina to keep it up for a year or two.
Dude, I'm totally gonna go out solo and sober and have sex by the end of this challenge. It's gonna be awesome.
Like seriously, I really think I have the potential to become a huge beast at this. haha (I'm kinda joking here) but seriously. I know it sounds crazy, but like I think I could get really good at this if I keep working hard and have the stamina to keep it up for a year or two.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 13:15
#3
Re: TonightX2
@buddhagames:
I go out solo all the time,but can't do it sober. Now,I'm not getting drunk,I'll have a cocktail and a couple beers,but its awesome you're doing this...I might try it too sometimes,I just don't wanna be the award guy drinking water in the club lol,because that's what will happen,but I won't know till I try it. Good luck!
I go out solo all the time,but can't do it sober. Now,I'm not getting drunk,I'll have a cocktail and a couple beers,but its awesome you're doing this...I might try it too sometimes,I just don't wanna be the award guy drinking water in the club lol,because that's what will happen,but I won't know till I try it. Good luck!
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 14:07
#4
Re: TonightX2
@Bad_Lieutenant:
Yeah, I was kinda worried about girls asking me like, "Who are you here with?" or people noticing that I was like being awkward and drinkin water or wtvr but none of that happens at all... not a single person has asked me who I came to the bar with or who my friends are. Also, dude there's so many people, like nobody really is paying attention to you until you approach them.
Yeah, I was kinda worried about girls asking me like, "Who are you here with?" or people noticing that I was like being awkward and drinkin water or wtvr but none of that happens at all... not a single person has asked me who I came to the bar with or who my friends are. Also, dude there's so many people, like nobody really is paying attention to you until you approach them.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 18:36
#5
Re: TonightX2
@buddhagames:
What do you think you should have done in the situation with the girl who you asked her name 2x?
What do you think you should have done in the situation with the girl who you asked her name 2x?
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 18:45
#6
Re: TonightX2
@Alex123:
A couple things.
1. Gone in MUCH stronger. I waivered in my approach. I didn't have SUPER strong eye contact, I kinda mumbled what I said, thus her saying, "what?" (I just realized I forgot to put this in my initial report, which is a HUGE thing to leave out, as it shows that my approach was weak.. but yeah, she said, 'what', to my initial approach and i had to basically re-do it), what I did say, I said in a seeking rapport vocal tonality with a slightly high pitched voice (I'm not saying I sounded like weird or that it was SUPER noticable but it was there)
So that's what I can think of, as far as the approach is concerned. I actually think I handled her not giving me her name at first pretty well but from that point it was certainly going to be an uphill battle.
2. Instead of asking her name again, I should have just started spurting verbals out of my ass. Fuck asking for the girls name, even in the first place. I'm going to stop this. It's too tryhard, I don't need to know their name and I only ask because it gives me time to relax, which gives me some short term relief but in the longterm is something I want to get rid of.
3. I let her get away too easy because there were dudes in the set, I should have turned around and started talking to the group after introducing myself to her. I should have engaged everyone after that point. Like it's great to communicate interest, but I just didn't plow that hard. I was sorta in this headspace of, "I want to get my approach in and I don't care what happens after" which is self-defeating.
Asking the name TWO TIMES... Well that's just too chode, even for sober/solo BG lmao. It's just so fuckin try hard. It's like, give me value give me value give me value... give me something... it's a totally selfish way to go about the interaction... rather, it's more selfless and more authentic for me to just go in and begin by giving value and then if she wants to know my name or tell me hers she can do either if she likes but I don't NEED her name. So I don't NEED to ask. I don't NEED her value, in a sense.
A lot of this can be viewed from the outter game aspect, which is what I just did (and I'm sure there is a lot more if I had an instructor there watching me) but additionally, it can be viewed from the internal game side of things and from that side, I was just sucking value and not willing to give anything in exchange... That's why I think the, "Did you have a bad night" was actually fairly good, because it shows some empthathy... it shows a willingness to give value.
A couple things.
1. Gone in MUCH stronger. I waivered in my approach. I didn't have SUPER strong eye contact, I kinda mumbled what I said, thus her saying, "what?" (I just realized I forgot to put this in my initial report, which is a HUGE thing to leave out, as it shows that my approach was weak.. but yeah, she said, 'what', to my initial approach and i had to basically re-do it), what I did say, I said in a seeking rapport vocal tonality with a slightly high pitched voice (I'm not saying I sounded like weird or that it was SUPER noticable but it was there)
So that's what I can think of, as far as the approach is concerned. I actually think I handled her not giving me her name at first pretty well but from that point it was certainly going to be an uphill battle.
2. Instead of asking her name again, I should have just started spurting verbals out of my ass. Fuck asking for the girls name, even in the first place. I'm going to stop this. It's too tryhard, I don't need to know their name and I only ask because it gives me time to relax, which gives me some short term relief but in the longterm is something I want to get rid of.
3. I let her get away too easy because there were dudes in the set, I should have turned around and started talking to the group after introducing myself to her. I should have engaged everyone after that point. Like it's great to communicate interest, but I just didn't plow that hard. I was sorta in this headspace of, "I want to get my approach in and I don't care what happens after" which is self-defeating.
Asking the name TWO TIMES... Well that's just too chode, even for sober/solo BG lmao. It's just so fuckin try hard. It's like, give me value give me value give me value... give me something... it's a totally selfish way to go about the interaction... rather, it's more selfless and more authentic for me to just go in and begin by giving value and then if she wants to know my name or tell me hers she can do either if she likes but I don't NEED her name. So I don't NEED to ask. I don't NEED her value, in a sense.
A lot of this can be viewed from the outter game aspect, which is what I just did (and I'm sure there is a lot more if I had an instructor there watching me) but additionally, it can be viewed from the internal game side of things and from that side, I was just sucking value and not willing to give anything in exchange... That's why I think the, "Did you have a bad night" was actually fairly good, because it shows some empthathy... it shows a willingness to give value.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 19:03
#7
Re: TonightX2
This and the last FR made me reveal a tiny flaw in my own game to myself. Like when it's mixed groups or I feel that little bit of anxiousness before opening (eg when I'm sober) it's sooo fucking hard to plow through. Like the way you described it, if it were me, feeling that nervous energy before opening would make me either not approach or go in weak. Sometimes I trick myself into not doing it. Like I wait for an ioi or find the easier sets. But when I feel that nervousness it's realllyyy hard to just grab them especially when sober cause my brain instead of being chill is like "dude there are just two girls there, her friend isn't going to let this go down, if I grab her hand it won't work" which I know IS true but only because I think it's going to happen. Self fulfilling prophecy. I'm going to work on that this wknd. Going in hard even when I don't feel entitled
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 19:12
#8
Re: TonightX2
@icewahine:
yeah, also- there's something I've noticed about the way I go in with the hand grab.
So the term, "Going in hard" is actually a bit misleading. It's true, in the sense that you are going to go very direct and very confident, with tons of eye contact and that sexy, calm, sorta "light" but neutral or slightly breaking rapport vocal tone... that's a HARD approach, in my book
BUT
It's MISLEADING in the sense that, when you grab her hand, at least for me (and this could totally be wrong, in which case I can easily change this) but when I go for the hand grab, it's actually kinda soft.. well not soft but just sorta "light" and "airy" of a hand grab. Like let's say she's walking to her right and I grab her hand, I would never grab the hand and pull left if she's walking right... that, from what I can tell, would be weird and the "wrong" way of going about this.
Instead, let's say she's wakling right, I'll lightly grab her hand, almost as if I'm about to dance with her, and if she's walking to the right, I'll sorta guide my hand with hers so that there is no like "jerky" motion between when she's walking and when I grab her hand, so basically all she feels is the touch of my hand and NOT like some weird, jerky, movement that like is a disruption to her current flow. It's kinda like when you pet a dog, you want to pet the dog, DOWN the fur, you don't want to pet the dog in the other direction because this is seen as a sign of "danger" to the dog and will be uncomfortable...
Also- It's important to note that I don't move at all... I stand perfectly still so I'm not like wlaking with her, it's just like im letting my hand guide her to a soft landing.
It's the same when I go for the handgrab, It's sorta a grab and guide, in the sense that I guide her in the direction she was already walking. So it's really just the FEELING of my hand that stops her in her tracks and not any actual tugging or jerking done on my part.
THEN, once she's stopped, I bring the hand up to like my chest level and sometimes it's almost like her hand is sorta flopping and I just have a very light grasp on it, kinda like you do when your dancing old school medieval style with a chick. and so I'll bring it up to my chest level, keep eye contact and just give a smile and a nice, "Hey" with a pause after.
it's like she's felt this great touch and then the "hey" and eye contact is just the icing on the cake...
Okay- so that's a super long and kinda technical breakdown of a very small aspect of what I do in the night, but that's basically the approach that I've done with a few girls so far, mainly on the dance floor.
yeah, also- there's something I've noticed about the way I go in with the hand grab.
So the term, "Going in hard" is actually a bit misleading. It's true, in the sense that you are going to go very direct and very confident, with tons of eye contact and that sexy, calm, sorta "light" but neutral or slightly breaking rapport vocal tone... that's a HARD approach, in my book
BUT
It's MISLEADING in the sense that, when you grab her hand, at least for me (and this could totally be wrong, in which case I can easily change this) but when I go for the hand grab, it's actually kinda soft.. well not soft but just sorta "light" and "airy" of a hand grab. Like let's say she's walking to her right and I grab her hand, I would never grab the hand and pull left if she's walking right... that, from what I can tell, would be weird and the "wrong" way of going about this.
Instead, let's say she's wakling right, I'll lightly grab her hand, almost as if I'm about to dance with her, and if she's walking to the right, I'll sorta guide my hand with hers so that there is no like "jerky" motion between when she's walking and when I grab her hand, so basically all she feels is the touch of my hand and NOT like some weird, jerky, movement that like is a disruption to her current flow. It's kinda like when you pet a dog, you want to pet the dog, DOWN the fur, you don't want to pet the dog in the other direction because this is seen as a sign of "danger" to the dog and will be uncomfortable...
Also- It's important to note that I don't move at all... I stand perfectly still so I'm not like wlaking with her, it's just like im letting my hand guide her to a soft landing.
It's the same when I go for the handgrab, It's sorta a grab and guide, in the sense that I guide her in the direction she was already walking. So it's really just the FEELING of my hand that stops her in her tracks and not any actual tugging or jerking done on my part.
THEN, once she's stopped, I bring the hand up to like my chest level and sometimes it's almost like her hand is sorta flopping and I just have a very light grasp on it, kinda like you do when your dancing old school medieval style with a chick. and so I'll bring it up to my chest level, keep eye contact and just give a smile and a nice, "Hey" with a pause after.
it's like she's felt this great touch and then the "hey" and eye contact is just the icing on the cake...
Okay- so that's a super long and kinda technical breakdown of a very small aspect of what I do in the night, but that's basically the approach that I've done with a few girls so far, mainly on the dance floor.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 20:18
#9
Re: TonightX2
icewahine;749.5637;76 wrote:
. cause my brain instead of being chill is like "dude there are just two girls there, her friend isn't going to let this go down, if I grab her hand it won't work"
It's funny, cause both times I did this approach, there was a gal friend with the girl and literally the other just DISAPPEARED... like I literally have no clue where she went in either situation lmfao... like this was actually kinda funny. I didn't even think about it. But yeah, the other girl didn't even stick around, she was just like, "Aight- PEACE LATE"
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 22:29
#10
Re: TonightX2
buddhagames;749.5636;8 wrote:
@Alex123:
A couple things.
1. Gone in MUCH stronger. I waivered in my approach. I didn't have SUPER strong eye contact, I kinda mumbled what I said, thus her saying, "what?" (I just realized I forgot to put this in my initial report, which is a HUGE thing to leave out, as it shows that my approach was weak.. but yeah, she said, 'what', to my initial approach and i had to basically re-do it), what I did say, I said in a seeking rapport vocal tonality with a slightly high pitched voice (I'm not saying I sounded like weird or that it was SUPER noticable but it was there)
So that's what I can think of, as far as the approach is concerned. I actually think I handled her not giving me her name at first pretty well but from that point it was certainly going to be an uphill battle.
2. Instead of asking her name again, I should have just started spurting verbals out of my ass. Fuck asking for the girls name, even in the first place. I'm going to stop this. It's too tryhard, I don't need to know their name and I only ask because it gives me time to relax, which gives me some short term relief but in the longterm is something I want to get rid of.
3. I let her get away too easy because there were dudes in the set, I should have turned around and started talking to the group after introducing myself to her. I should have engaged everyone after that point. Like it's great to communicate interest, but I just didn't plow that hard. I was sorta in this headspace of, "I want to get my approach in and I don't care what happens after" which is self-defeating.
Asking the name TWO TIMES... Well that's just too chode, even for sober/solo BG lmao. It's just so fuckin try hard. It's like, give me value give me value give me value... give me something... it's a totally selfish way to go about the interaction... rather, it's more selfless and more authentic for me to just go in and begin by giving value and then if she wants to know my name or tell me hers she can do either if she likes but I don't NEED her name. So I don't NEED to ask. I don't NEED her value, in a sense.
A lot of this can be viewed from the outter game aspect, which is what I just did (and I'm sure there is a lot more if I had an instructor there watching me) but additionally, it can be viewed from the internal game side of things and from that side, I was just sucking value and not willing to give anything in exchange... That's why I think the, "Did you have a bad night" was actually fairly good, because it shows some empthathy... it shows a willingness to give value.
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Glad you took the time to write an in-depth analysis. Good stuff.
What would be cool is to use the "what?" question as an anchor or reminder that you need to PUSH through ANY and all self-doubt. As in, any time anyone ever asks you, "what?" you are instantly brought back to your completely confident and charismatic self. I don't know if anyone on here has experience in using anchors or knows about them but I have always found them intriguing.
Imagine any time you heard that question snapping back into full vocal projection/authority mode.
And I agree in most cases asking for the name comes off chodey, unless you do it in some pimp fashion like I have seen Tim do. Good analysis on why it comes off this way (value seeking/subtle neediness) lol so much of this stuff is so damn subtle til its broken down to tiny fragments.
I thought the "Did you have a bad night" line was good bc, depending on how you said it, like could've come off as: *hmm why is she leaving so soon* and then the humorous misinterpretation: that the only conclusion you could come to is "Did you have a bad night?"
but you're right I didn't even think about the empathy/willingness to give value inherent in that question. Because normally people don't ask if you're having a bad time if they don't plan on following up with making the person feel better aka value