Time to critique BUDDHAGAMES TEXT CONVO! - Where did the convo take a turn? I'm curious about YOUR opinnion
Sat, 04/13/2013 - 01:37
Me: Hey there- just got a 21st century phone. I'm about to instatwittersquare your ass!
Girl: Hahaha this is hilarious. Go right on ahead
Me - 5 mins later: Hold tight beb, I'm currently in a wrestling match with my dog and he's licking my face
Girl: Ooo what type of dog
Me - 3 mins later: Hold on what's your schedule like this weekend
Girl: Nothing big, going out with friends
Me - 3 mins later: You free for a romantic afternoon drink
Girl: Hahaha romantic huh? When
Me: Dont worry Ill fight off all the creepy hipsters
Girl - 1 min later: Haha you hate brooklyn?
Me - 2 mins later: Nah but you read my mind- I actually wanna take you to this awesome food fair
Me: My company has a lot of chefs there and I can't resist the amazing weather
Girl: When is this delicious event
Me - 1 min later: Have you ever done a proprr wine/food pairing?
Me - 4 mins later: Its on Saturday and Sunday - you free for one of those?
Girl - 7 hrs 45 mins later: Sorry, early to rise as a teacher, passed out last night. I could do afternoon on Saturday or Sunday
Me - 8 hrs 16 mins later: You think the boys in your class will be jealous? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings
Girl - 1 hr 13 mins later: Hahah yea all those kindergarteners with broken hearts
Me: Broken boners soon enough : O
Girl: Gross no
Girl: They are 6!!
Me - 4 mins later: Phss don't tell me you didn't have a "makeout under the slide" phase when you were little!
Me - 2 mins later: I had the biggest crush ever on my 2nd grade teacher - Ms. Butler... but she broke my heart and married her college sweetheart
Girl - 2 mins later: Hahaha
Me - 8 mins later: Oh btw- how does Saturday sound- do you live in Manhattan?
Girl - 4 mins later: I live in brooklyn, park slope. What time on Saturday
Me - 5 mins later: I can pick you up around 1ish
Me: On my way
Girl: Where are we going exactly
Me - 1 min later: Smorgesborg. Its an awesome lil food fair. We can stop by some of my chefs real quick and then grab a drink in the slope. I used to live there
Girl - 6 mins later: Oh is that in Williamsburg? I just moved from there but yea that sounds good
Me - 3 hrs 19 mins later: Sounds good. Its not how I imagined our first romantic date to be but I suppose it'll have to do
Me - 1 min later: I was imagining rose petals limos and champagne in the Jacuzzi with my dog.seductively licking your face but yeah smorgasborg and a drink will be fun
Girl: You mean it won't be romantic to stuff my face at various venues haha
Girl: Ps. What kind of dog
Me - 13 mins later: Boxer
Girl - 1 min later: ������
Me: ...
This is a good example of solid texting. As I said in the title- there might be slightly too much rapport but as long as I cut it off until tomorrow, I'm golden.
I'm also trying a new "Overly Romantic" frame which I fucking LOVE- this shit is so fun and easy to mess around with.
Girl: Hahaha this is hilarious. Go right on ahead
Me - 5 mins later: Hold tight beb, I'm currently in a wrestling match with my dog and he's licking my face
Girl: Ooo what type of dog
Me - 3 mins later: Hold on what's your schedule like this weekend
Girl: Nothing big, going out with friends
Me - 3 mins later: You free for a romantic afternoon drink
Girl: Hahaha romantic huh? When
Me: Dont worry Ill fight off all the creepy hipsters
Girl - 1 min later: Haha you hate brooklyn?
Me - 2 mins later: Nah but you read my mind- I actually wanna take you to this awesome food fair
Me: My company has a lot of chefs there and I can't resist the amazing weather
Girl: When is this delicious event
Me - 1 min later: Have you ever done a proprr wine/food pairing?
Me - 4 mins later: Its on Saturday and Sunday - you free for one of those?
Girl - 7 hrs 45 mins later: Sorry, early to rise as a teacher, passed out last night. I could do afternoon on Saturday or Sunday
Me - 8 hrs 16 mins later: You think the boys in your class will be jealous? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings
Girl - 1 hr 13 mins later: Hahah yea all those kindergarteners with broken hearts
Me: Broken boners soon enough : O
Girl: Gross no
Girl: They are 6!!
Me - 4 mins later: Phss don't tell me you didn't have a "makeout under the slide" phase when you were little!
Me - 2 mins later: I had the biggest crush ever on my 2nd grade teacher - Ms. Butler... but she broke my heart and married her college sweetheart
Girl - 2 mins later: Hahaha
Me - 8 mins later: Oh btw- how does Saturday sound- do you live in Manhattan?
Girl - 4 mins later: I live in brooklyn, park slope. What time on Saturday
Me - 5 mins later: I can pick you up around 1ish
Me: On my way
Girl: Where are we going exactly
Me - 1 min later: Smorgesborg. Its an awesome lil food fair. We can stop by some of my chefs real quick and then grab a drink in the slope. I used to live there
Girl - 6 mins later: Oh is that in Williamsburg? I just moved from there but yea that sounds good
Me - 3 hrs 19 mins later: Sounds good. Its not how I imagined our first romantic date to be but I suppose it'll have to do
Me - 1 min later: I was imagining rose petals limos and champagne in the Jacuzzi with my dog.seductively licking your face but yeah smorgasborg and a drink will be fun
Girl: You mean it won't be romantic to stuff my face at various venues haha
Girl: Ps. What kind of dog
Me - 13 mins later: Boxer
Girl - 1 min later: ������
Me: ...
This is a good example of solid texting. As I said in the title- there might be slightly too much rapport but as long as I cut it off until tomorrow, I'm golden.
I'm also trying a new "Overly Romantic" frame which I fucking LOVE- this shit is so fun and easy to mess around with.
Sat, 04/13/2013 - 01:42
#1
Conversation
Girl: Did you get my thumbs up
Me: No
Me: I got a bunch of incoherrent boxes
Girl - 4 mins later: Lol oh it's a whole bunch of thumbs up, I'll show you tomorrow
Sun, 04/14/2013 - 15:01
#2
This girl is awesome. We get
This girl is awesome. We get along really fucking well- give it some time and she'll be solidified into the harem.
I always get along really well with the "Teacher" type - they are so emotional that my shit tends to hit them on a level that it doesn't quite get at with the more "logical" types
I always get along really well with the "Teacher" type - they are so emotional that my shit tends to hit them on a level that it doesn't quite get at with the more "logical" types
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 02:20
#3
Conversation
Girl: Change of plans! Don't worry about coming to pick me up, I can meet you there.
Girl - 2 hrs 29 mins later: Yes, no, maybe?
Me - 50 mins later: Yeah that sounds good.
Me - 1 min later: Sorry my friends sister just passed yesterday so I was helpin out with a few things.
Girl - 1 min later: Oh wow I'm sorry, why don't we reschedule then?
Me - 1 min later: Oh no its not like that I just stopped by to say a few words.
Me - 18 mins later: Shoot me a text and let me know if were doing 5 or 530.
Me: PS. I promise not to laugh at your heal bag
Girl - 2 mins later: Sooo I'm glad I checked, my friends and I are doing dinner at 8 now. Think we could do 7 or is that too late
Me - 4 mins later: Sounds perfect lets do 630 though - that way I don't have to runoff the second I say hello
Girl: Hahaha ok sounds good. I may or may not have a bag but don't judge me
Girl: Hahaha ok sounds good. I may or may not have a bag but don't judge me
Me - 21 mins later: An overnight bag? Golly gee your moving quick- on second thought lets just be friends ; b
Girl - 23 mins later: Hahaha ok ok you caught me
Girl - 2 hrs 18 mins later: Found it, I'll see you at 630!
Girl - 1 hr 42 mins later: Gonna be like 5 minutes late I'm sorry ��
Me - 21 mins later: Its cool.same here
Me - 8 mins later: 5 min
Girl: Ok
Girl - 1 hr 26 mins later: Send me the picture!
Me - 13 mins later: Even if you do have one too many bad jokes
Girl - 33 mins later: Hahah overdressed, you ass
Me - 13 hrs later: so my phone died : /
Me - 49 mins later: Im goin to brunch with some friends- you and some girls wanna join?
Girl - 1 min later: Awww that would be lovely but I'm eating with my roomy now :-/
Me: Yeah no worries. There's gonna be a lot of us there but figured I shoot you an invite.
Girl - 5 mins later: So kind of you. Have fun. It's gorgeous out
Girl - 9 hrs 30 mins later: How was brunch?
Me - 19 hrs 34 mins later: Relaxing. Ended up at libations Sunday party which was a total blast.
Girl - 3 hrs 46 mins later: Wow I'm like dead on Sunday nights, look at youuu
Girl: Hey I never told you but I had a fun time Saturday, thanks again
Me - 1 hr 36 mins later: Of course you did, I'm pretty awesome
Me: Glad you had a good time
Me - 13 mins later: : )
Girl - 49 mins later: Did you pitch/steal my dip idea yet
Me - 7 mins later: I don't wanna text you late at night cause I know you have to hit the sack
Girl: Hahah I'll just not respond when I'm in dreamland
Me - 6 mins later: I can see you have good intentions but the issue here is that my texts are so witty, whimsical and generally entertaining that I know they would keep you up all night and I couldn't possibly be that cruel
Girl - 1 min later: Hahaha could you be a little bit more elaborate in your excuses to stop texting me???
Me - 14 mins later: : )
Me - 15 hrs 8 mins later: Hey beb, were you able to get some beauty rest last night without my masculine wittiness keeping you awake
Girl - 4 hrs 33 mins later: Hahaha yes of course, it actually put me to sleep ;-)
Me - 21 hrs 3 mins later: Lmao hey there beb, what's your schedule like Friday?
Girl - 5 hrs 58 mins later: I have a little going away party Friday in the city
Me - 13 hrs 48 mins later: Oh okay, I'm busy Sunday but lets grab a drink sunday- I know a sweet place just filled with baby penguins, rainbows and butterfly's. You'll love it
Me: Grab a drink Saturday *
Me - 2 hrs 19 mins later: Also I'm just happy that it was my turn to pass out on your ass last night. Crashed like a baby gorilla at 8
Girl - 4 hrs 52 mins later: My best friend genias birthday is Saturday :-( she plans to rage all day lol
Girl: I promise I'm not making excuses
Me - 3 mins later: Oh shit yeah that sounds serious
Me - 2 mins later: You got plans tonight? I could grab a quick drink.
Girl - 30 mins later: I do have plans, drinks with some friends from work. Although I somehow have to do lesson plans as well. Rawr!
Me - 14 mins later: Gotcha well another time then
Girl - 1 min later: I'm sorry!!! Don't be sad
Me - 28 mins later: Yeah, that fucking sucks I'm sorry. I'm sure you were looking forward to seeing me. You have a day that works for you
Girl - 24 mins later: I was! I will for sure
Me - 22 mins later: Haha I was kinda kidding I Def. Wanted to see you. Wanna just pick a day next week
Girl - 4 mins later: Yea next week would work for me
Me - 17 mins later: Cool. That works
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 03:35
#4
The dynamic seemed to change
The dynamic seemed to change quite a bit after you explained why you asked her to brunch...or maybe asking her to brunch in the first place? It also seemed like you were making yourself too available.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 04:55
#5
buddhagames wrote:Girl:
buddhagames wrote:
Girl: Change of plans! Don't worry about coming to pick me up, I can meet you there.
Girl - 2 hrs 29 mins later: Yes, no, maybe?
Me - 50 mins later: Yeah that sounds good.
Me - 1 min later: Sorry my friends sister just passed yesterday so I was helpin out with a few things.
Girl - 1 min later: Oh wow I'm sorry, why don't we reschedule then?
Me - 1 min later: Oh no its not like that I just stopped by to say a few words.
Me - 18 mins later: Shoot me a text and let me know if were doing 5 or 530.
Me: PS. I promise not to laugh at your heal bag
Girl - 2 mins later: Sooo I'm glad I checked, my friends and I are doing dinner at 8 now. Think we could do 7 or is that too late
Me - 4 mins later: Sounds perfect lets do 630 though - that way I don't have to runoff the second I say hello
Hmm
Girl: Hahaha ok sounds good. I may or may not have a bag but don't judge me
Girl: Hahaha ok sounds good. I may or may not have a bag but don't judge me
Me - 21 mins later: An overnight bag? Golly gee your moving quick- on second thought lets just be friends ; b
I really dislike this line and even though you're joking -> You want to reward her for being sexual i.e. bringing her overnight bag. You already clearly have the value so you could be like "No need to bring the bag (i.e. purse in her case) along beb, I'm a bit underdressed from work myself. I think she's saying "I really want to impress you so I hope just being ME is good enough for you babe."
In a perfect world where I knew how to text I would have gotten rid of the "on second thought let's just be friends". I understand that you're trying to push her away but in your example she's already on your cock and trying to impress you and you're throwing her away AND you're telling her to stop moving quick for bringing her overnight bag. Cmon nigs like us fuck chicks after 20 mins within meeting them - we want SLUTS!!!
Girl - 23 mins later: Hahaha ok ok you caught me
Girl - 2 hrs 18 mins later: Found it, I'll see you at 630!
Girl - 1 hr 42 mins later: Gonna be like 5 minutes late I'm sorry ��
Me - 21 mins later: Its cool.same here
Me - 8 mins later: 5 min
Girl: Ok
Girl - 1 hr 26 mins later: Send me the picture!
Me - 13 mins later: Even if you do have one too many bad jokes
Girl - 33 mins later: Hahah overdressed, you ass
Me - 13 hrs later: so my phone died : /
Me - 49 mins later: Im goin to brunch with some friends- you and some girls wanna join?
Girl - 1 min later: Awww that would be lovely but I'm eating with my roomy now :-/
Me: Yeah no worries. There's gonna be a lot of us there but figured I shoot you an invite.
Girl - 5 mins later: So kind of you. Have fun. It's gorgeous out
Girl - 9 hrs 30 mins later: How was brunch?
Me - 19 hrs 34 mins later: Relaxing. Ended up at libations Sunday party which was a total blast.
Girl - 3 hrs 46 mins later: Wow I'm like dead on Sunday nights, look at youuu
Girl: Hey I never told you but I had a fun time Saturday, thanks again
Me - 1 hr 36 mins later: Of course you did, I'm pretty awesome
Me: Glad you had a good time
Me - 13 mins later: : )
Girl - 49 mins later: Did you pitch/steal my dip idea yet
Me - 7 mins later: I don't wanna text you late at night cause I know you have to hit the sack
Who gives a fuck when she has to text, your name is Buddahgames and you don't give a fuck when she can text. If you call that bitch at 4am she better prep up because she needs some BUDDAHGAMES lol.
Girl: Hahah I'll just not respond when I'm in dreamland
Me - 6 mins later: I can see you have good intentions but the issue here is that my texts are so witty, whimsical and generally entertaining that I know they would keep you up all night and I couldn't possibly be that cruel
Girl - 1 min later: Hahaha could you be a little bit more elaborate in your excuses to stop texting me???
She's almost saying here "damn you don't want me". I feel like the more I do talk to chicks - they always sort of drop hints on how they want to be seduced. Only if I could understand this via written communication but girls always drop hints on how they want it. "can you shut up already Katalyst". "where are your friends, where do you live" Infield. I think Manwhore once told me "Seek to understand who you are leading to be a better leader". Something along those lines - you get the point homie. I don't think this girl really responds well to asshole behavior. She's attracted to you for sure cuz you're a natural asshole fuckstar but her belief isn't that strong so you don't need to push as much.
Me - 14 mins later: : )
Me - 15 hrs 8 mins later: Hey beb, were you able to get some beauty rest last night without my masculine wittiness keeping you awake
Girl - 4 hrs 33 mins later: Hahaha yes of course, it actually put me to sleep ;-)
Me - 21 hrs 3 mins later: Lmao hey there beb, what's your schedule like Friday?
Girl - 5 hrs 58 mins later: I have a little going away party Friday in the city
Me - 13 hrs 48 mins later: Oh okay, I'm busy Sunday but lets grab a drink sunday- I know a sweet place just filled with baby penguins, rainbows and butterfly's. You'll love it
Me: Grab a drink Saturday *
Me - 2 hrs 19 mins later: Also I'm just happy that it was my turn to pass out on your ass last night. Crashed like a baby gorilla at 8
Girl - 4 hrs 52 mins later: My best friend genias birthday is Saturday :-( she plans to rage all day lol
Girl: I promise I'm not making excuses
Me - 3 mins later: Oh shit yeah that sounds serious
Me - 2 mins later: You got plans tonight? I could grab a quick drink.
Girl - 30 mins later: I do have plans, drinks with some friends from work. Although I somehow have to do lesson plans as well. Rawr!
Me - 14 mins later: Gotcha well another time then
Girl - 1 min later: I'm sorry!!! Don't be sad
Me - 28 mins later: Yeah, that fucking sucks I'm sorry. I'm sure you were looking forward to seeing me. You have a day that works for you
Girl - 24 mins later: I was! I will for sure
Me - 22 mins later: Haha I was kinda kidding I Def. Wanted to see you. Wanna just pick a day next week
Girl - 4 mins later: Yea next week would work for me
Me - 17 mins later: Cool. That works
Despite all your missteps, you have the sickest text game out of our whole crew and are right up there with Manwhore so I'm I know that you'll recover this one. I'm gonna guess she's a 7 - i'm finding the 8s and 9s are fuckin ruthless now that I find myself trying to hit that next level of game whenever I go out. One mistake (like leaving your Alex hotseat notes at their place) or even cracking one joke too many via text and you're done.
Props for the persistence though. props for the persistence. This is what I severely lack in my own text game. BELIEF. And you have it.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 05:10
#6
The "overnight bag comment"
The "overnight bag comment" was an insdie joke because we had just spoken on the phone for like 20 minutes - it was just playful banter. She wasn't being sexual at all- it was something we had already discussed because she was spending the night at her friends place ----> I was the one "Purposely misinterpreting" her text in this portion. She did not come underdressed at all- she cmae overdressed which was the implied thing here
haha the whole "I don't want to text you before you go to bed" thing was COMPLETELY tongue in cheek- I OBVIOUSLY do not care what time I text her and in fact, it was said, in part, to illicit the exact response she gave about me making excuses not to talk to her
It's funny- I actually thought the text convo was really good up until the very last part where I tried setting up the 2nd date with her- I thought the entire text convo was exactly where I wanted it to be every step of the way up until she rejected THREE of my attempts to meetup
For example- I'm very aware of what she was saying in the text she sent with "3 question marks"- I guess I was playing a little hard to get here and possibly should have qualified more instead of just giving a smiley face but at the time I thought the smiley face was enough to make her feel better but that being said- I wouldn't have gotten that response without previously making the comment about not texting her late at night- which was actualy part of my plan all along
The points you make are actually all areas I don't really see myself having made mistakes and in some of them- were things that I very much CONSCIOUSLY made a choice to do- although, I could very well have just been wrong in my interpretation of the situation and you may be right.
haha the whole "I don't want to text you before you go to bed" thing was COMPLETELY tongue in cheek- I OBVIOUSLY do not care what time I text her and in fact, it was said, in part, to illicit the exact response she gave about me making excuses not to talk to her
It's funny- I actually thought the text convo was really good up until the very last part where I tried setting up the 2nd date with her- I thought the entire text convo was exactly where I wanted it to be every step of the way up until she rejected THREE of my attempts to meetup
For example- I'm very aware of what she was saying in the text she sent with "3 question marks"- I guess I was playing a little hard to get here and possibly should have qualified more instead of just giving a smiley face but at the time I thought the smiley face was enough to make her feel better but that being said- I wouldn't have gotten that response without previously making the comment about not texting her late at night- which was actualy part of my plan all along
The points you make are actually all areas I don't really see myself having made mistakes and in some of them- were things that I very much CONSCIOUSLY made a choice to do- although, I could very well have just been wrong in my interpretation of the situation and you may be right.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 05:22
#7
Interesting how you find the
Interesting how you find the 8s/9s to be ruthless- I'm finding them to be pretty similar to the 7s- just with tougher logistics and more "unintential tests"
When you think of "There's no reason why I'm not enough" and "Trying to hit that next level of game" how do those two relate to eachother in your mind?
When you think of "There's no reason why I'm not enough" and "Trying to hit that next level of game" how do those two relate to eachother in your mind?
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 05:43
#8
Cool. They really relate (no
Cool. They really relate (no reason why I am not enough and hitting that next level of game). Kinda paradoxical but the game is full of paradoxes. You got to know when to hit it hard like a BOSS and when to play it cool like a BOSS.
Shit like as in never hesitating to step up to girls because of some bullshit my brain is telling me. Instantly stepping up to a hottie first thing in the morning on the crowded subway on my way to work.
Shit like getting a hot girl's number and being extra hesitant to text her because I my text game isn't perefect.
Pretty much getting rid of all the mental viruses. Everything at this point is more self-acceptance related for me to see more results and getting more reference experiences to fully internalize the experience. If there's one thing I've learned over this past week is that I have certain strengths that no other guy can offer and I just have to ALWAYS believe that.
There Is No Reason Why I am not enough. Not feeling bad about being persistent because the proof is in the pudding or doing shit like practically stalking a girl out to get that lay or walk out the front door irrespective of what other people think. Just shit among that spectrum. In-field I feel like I've pretty much learned all I need to learn to get laid every night, it's just applying stuff consistently and teeing up my RAS EVERY night for the win.
I'm gonna leave my house in 30 - about to text you.
Shit like as in never hesitating to step up to girls because of some bullshit my brain is telling me. Instantly stepping up to a hottie first thing in the morning on the crowded subway on my way to work.
Shit like getting a hot girl's number and being extra hesitant to text her because I my text game isn't perefect.
Pretty much getting rid of all the mental viruses. Everything at this point is more self-acceptance related for me to see more results and getting more reference experiences to fully internalize the experience. If there's one thing I've learned over this past week is that I have certain strengths that no other guy can offer and I just have to ALWAYS believe that.
There Is No Reason Why I am not enough. Not feeling bad about being persistent because the proof is in the pudding or doing shit like practically stalking a girl out to get that lay or walk out the front door irrespective of what other people think. Just shit among that spectrum. In-field I feel like I've pretty much learned all I need to learn to get laid every night, it's just applying stuff consistently and teeing up my RAS EVERY night for the win.
I'm gonna leave my house in 30 - about to text you.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 05:46
#9
Interesting to note that
Interesting to note that everything you mentioned are just additional things you are actively doing.
No real insight here- just an observation
No real insight here- just an observation
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 06:44
#10
Also- explain why you think
Also- explain why you think it's paradoxical
ugh, nm man- I'm reframing this to take the focus off of me. ha! funny how I did that... didn't even think about it.
Anyway- I appreciate your advise, I'm going to legit think about it, instead of just automatically rejecting it. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
ugh, nm man- I'm reframing this to take the focus off of me. ha! funny how I did that... didn't even think about it.
Anyway- I appreciate your advise, I'm going to legit think about it, instead of just automatically rejecting it. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 08:04
#11
Texting was good until the
Texting was good until the end. You were too broad and actually deviated from how you normally set up the date. From " when are you free next week " to " pick a date ". One seems more accomodating while the other is just inquiring. I honestly dont even see it as much of a misfire tho... She could be playing tic for tat with you. ( you played a little too hard to get ) so she might just be trying to match you.
Fri, 04/19/2013 - 15:16
#12
Funny enough man- I had the
Funny enough man- I had the exact same thought (that she basically didn't like that I played hard to get and was doing the same thing to me)
I agree with you- a lot of my mistake here was simply deviating from what I normally do - I went for a "specific day in the future"- which is a BIG "nono" and also just not something I ever do
Instead of saying, "Hey beb, what's your schedule like this weekend" - I went for each date in particular... so where she normally may have thrown out the only free date she had, now she was in a position where she was busy
- and like you said, how MUCH of a mistake is really up in the air- I think that it's clear that I lost *some* investment but at the end of the day- how much does that really matter if she still meets up with me...
When she rejected all three dates, I felt a ton of pain- I really felt hurt- because I didn't put on a "pickup persona" with this gal and I actually got to know her and thought she was cool and it's really easy to not care about rejection when you're hiding behind part of that "pickup persona" we all create- and thus really easy to avoid that pain and so it felt like she was rejecting me.
But what I realized was the following:
1. She wasn't rejecting me- she just doesn't know me well enough yet
2. In order for 2 people to be compatible, BOTH people need to believe that this is the case- so, if she doens't want to meet up, perhaps we just aren't compatible in her eyes- making us not compatible as a whole - and that's completely fair
3. What I truly was pained by was the lack of control that I felt - I had put myself, vulnerably, out there and I perceived that she was rejecting that and I had no control over her decision - I need to relax into myself and find that part of me that doesn't need to control the girl - it exists, it's just buried by pain
4. Additionally, she called me out for being sad, so not only was it like, "okay I feel sad" but then there was the additional component of, "Oh shit- she SEES me"
Also- think about it- how fucking EASY is it for a girl to quickly forget how awesome you are, via text- ALSO- there's a lot for a girl to lose if she goes on that 2nd date... I mean, every date she goes on is additional investment, on her part and also I'm a really fucking cool guy so it's like, there has to be a part of her that knows that the more she sees me, the more she is going to fall in love with me and the more that happens- the easier and easier it is going to get for HER to get hurt and if you think about it- even for US it's like insanely hard to let go and just be ourselves and take that leap of faith and risk getting hurt- for a girl it's just as difficult, if not MORE so
So part of me is thinking- this actually doesn't matter... it's basically just another "test" and I may not have passed it like "A+" style... but I endured it and that's enough- she will still meet up with me again and, while I may not be super "potent"- I am 100% positive that the more time she spends with me, the more she'll fall in love and really start to enjoy herself around me (she can't not- the only option she has, if she's afraid of this happening- is not to see me and to cut it off before she's spent enough time around me to fully understand who I am- I'm literally that cool of a guy)
To be honest- I don't think I've gone on a day3 in the past 1.5 years... so as experienced as I'm getting with certain aspects of pickup- this is not one of them..
I agree with you- a lot of my mistake here was simply deviating from what I normally do - I went for a "specific day in the future"- which is a BIG "nono" and also just not something I ever do
Instead of saying, "Hey beb, what's your schedule like this weekend" - I went for each date in particular... so where she normally may have thrown out the only free date she had, now she was in a position where she was busy
- and like you said, how MUCH of a mistake is really up in the air- I think that it's clear that I lost *some* investment but at the end of the day- how much does that really matter if she still meets up with me...
When she rejected all three dates, I felt a ton of pain- I really felt hurt- because I didn't put on a "pickup persona" with this gal and I actually got to know her and thought she was cool and it's really easy to not care about rejection when you're hiding behind part of that "pickup persona" we all create- and thus really easy to avoid that pain and so it felt like she was rejecting me.
But what I realized was the following:
1. She wasn't rejecting me- she just doesn't know me well enough yet
2. In order for 2 people to be compatible, BOTH people need to believe that this is the case- so, if she doens't want to meet up, perhaps we just aren't compatible in her eyes- making us not compatible as a whole - and that's completely fair
3. What I truly was pained by was the lack of control that I felt - I had put myself, vulnerably, out there and I perceived that she was rejecting that and I had no control over her decision - I need to relax into myself and find that part of me that doesn't need to control the girl - it exists, it's just buried by pain
4. Additionally, she called me out for being sad, so not only was it like, "okay I feel sad" but then there was the additional component of, "Oh shit- she SEES me"
Also- think about it- how fucking EASY is it for a girl to quickly forget how awesome you are, via text- ALSO- there's a lot for a girl to lose if she goes on that 2nd date... I mean, every date she goes on is additional investment, on her part and also I'm a really fucking cool guy so it's like, there has to be a part of her that knows that the more she sees me, the more she is going to fall in love with me and the more that happens- the easier and easier it is going to get for HER to get hurt and if you think about it- even for US it's like insanely hard to let go and just be ourselves and take that leap of faith and risk getting hurt- for a girl it's just as difficult, if not MORE so
So part of me is thinking- this actually doesn't matter... it's basically just another "test" and I may not have passed it like "A+" style... but I endured it and that's enough- she will still meet up with me again and, while I may not be super "potent"- I am 100% positive that the more time she spends with me, the more she'll fall in love and really start to enjoy herself around me (she can't not- the only option she has, if she's afraid of this happening- is not to see me and to cut it off before she's spent enough time around me to fully understand who I am- I'm literally that cool of a guy)
To be honest- I don't think I've gone on a day3 in the past 1.5 years... so as experienced as I'm getting with certain aspects of pickup- this is not one of them..
Sat, 04/20/2013 - 00:54
#13
When you say I can pick you
When you say I can pick you up at 1ish and she didn't response
and then you come back with on my way
assume the meetup yeah?
and then you come back with on my way
assume the meetup yeah?
Sat, 04/20/2013 - 01:55
#14
When I say "5 min" that's
When I say "5 min" that's when the meetup happens
Sat, 04/20/2013 - 16:39
#15
Interesting. I figured you
Interesting. I figured you liked her more than the usual slampiece since you deviated from the norm. It happens. Yeah, honestly she was just iffy about you. Not sure if ot had to be broken down that far. But I really respect how honest you are about this shit. Lotta guys including myself front hard about liking girls because it's not " cool" or " productive " to pulling chicks / machismo. This is on. I don't even think thats the case here but that definitely does happen where women sabotage themselves. Funny how this girl saw through your attempt to make light of how you felt. Sometimes I find that I don't even feel that way when I make that comment and then she'll interpret it as serious and then I get sucked into that frame where I eventually do start feeling that way. Look internally to see if this was from her sucking you into her reality vs your genuine insecurity.
Sat, 04/20/2013 - 19:09
#16
Hmm...
I actually think this
Hmm...
I actually think this girl is really into me.. I know that sound weird- but I truly believe that when we meet up for the 2nd date- it will sorta "open the floodgates"
I really think she's just being resistent because she knows that a 2nd or 3rd date might put her over the edge of that "point of no return" as far as "control" is concerned... we'll see though- maybe she is just really "iffy" about me... but based on my interaction with her and some of her texts- I'd be more inclined to think the former
As for the pain I felt, it's a combination of the following:
1. Difference between my expectations and reality
2. experiencing a lack of control
3. Being unaccustomed to vulnerably putting myself out there
I actually think this girl is really into me.. I know that sound weird- but I truly believe that when we meet up for the 2nd date- it will sorta "open the floodgates"
I really think she's just being resistent because she knows that a 2nd or 3rd date might put her over the edge of that "point of no return" as far as "control" is concerned... we'll see though- maybe she is just really "iffy" about me... but based on my interaction with her and some of her texts- I'd be more inclined to think the former
As for the pain I felt, it's a combination of the following:
1. Difference between my expectations and reality
2. experiencing a lack of control
3. Being unaccustomed to vulnerably putting myself out there
Sat, 05/18/2013 - 18:22
#17
keep the double texts down.
keep the double texts down. where are the ten other women? they are outside, not in your house. yet. so go out, meet tons of women and you won't feel an inclination to text this bitch so often. keep them economical, don't talk about nothing. be to the point. you're busy fucking other chicks, remember? plus you have a a job and a rotation of girls and numbers to manage.
Sat, 05/18/2013 - 18:22
#18
keep the double texts down.
keep the double texts down. where are the ten other women? they are outside, not in your house. yet. so go out, meet tons of women and you won't feel an inclination to text this bitch so often. keep them economical, don't talk about nothing. be to the point. you're busy fucking other chicks, remember? plus you have a a job and a rotation of girls and numbers to manage.
Sat, 05/18/2013 - 18:50
#19
Haha double texts are fine as
Haha double texts are fine as long as your adding value.
Otherwise, thats good advise though dude you da man !
Otherwise, thats good advise though dude you da man !