Jade
Thu, 02/21/2013 - 16:35
Me: Can you get a booth? Just finished running, I need to be fed lol
Girl: I'm not going anymore
Girl: Lol my friend works there and we were going to visit her..but now she's cut so they wanna go to midtown, lame.
Girl: Going to see a movie with a friend
Me - 2 mins later: I'll catch you later this week then. Just saw one on sat
This keeps happening! Got the # and set up the date. And got flaked... I would say that most of numbers i got are from solid conversations. Any suggestion that i could prevent this happens so often?
Girl: I'm not going anymore
Girl: Lol my friend works there and we were going to visit her..but now she's cut so they wanna go to midtown, lame.
Girl: Going to see a movie with a friend
Me - 2 mins later: I'll catch you later this week then. Just saw one on sat
This keeps happening! Got the # and set up the date. And got flaked... I would say that most of numbers i got are from solid conversations. Any suggestion that i could prevent this happens so often?
Thu, 02/21/2013 - 18:43
#1
Block the exits. I do the
Block the exits. I do the same thing in sales.
The analogy I would use is that instead of micromanaging the interaction and trying to put up a very tight fence... what you want to do is set up a fence on the very outskirts of the interaction, so they can barely see it- but it's still there... and then you slowly bring the fence in, until there is no way out (sounds kinda intense haha but it's actually also the same thing as being a considerate person that happens to also have intent)
So you cast that wide net and get general availability and then work it from there. If they say no, you don't fight it but throw out questions or be 100% able to reschedule... but not TOO quickly or easily- or at the very least have a reason... or if you sense resistence, you can back off and have it be YOU that switches it up but do it preemptively and frame it so that it looks like you're helping them (which you are) but you also happen to be blocking the exits at the same time.
There are also a TON of techniques you can use to create guilt in someone else, in a very backdoor sort of way where they don't even realize they are being "guilt tripped"- so if you lean into them even just a LITTLE and infuse that SLIGHT sense of guilt into them, you WILL get the meetup. As most things- this sounds a lot more fucked up than it is and everyone does this stuff unconsciously anyways- the people who are good at it just pick up on this stuff and channel it for their purposes.
The analogy I would use is that instead of micromanaging the interaction and trying to put up a very tight fence... what you want to do is set up a fence on the very outskirts of the interaction, so they can barely see it- but it's still there... and then you slowly bring the fence in, until there is no way out (sounds kinda intense haha but it's actually also the same thing as being a considerate person that happens to also have intent)
So you cast that wide net and get general availability and then work it from there. If they say no, you don't fight it but throw out questions or be 100% able to reschedule... but not TOO quickly or easily- or at the very least have a reason... or if you sense resistence, you can back off and have it be YOU that switches it up but do it preemptively and frame it so that it looks like you're helping them (which you are) but you also happen to be blocking the exits at the same time.
There are also a TON of techniques you can use to create guilt in someone else, in a very backdoor sort of way where they don't even realize they are being "guilt tripped"- so if you lean into them even just a LITTLE and infuse that SLIGHT sense of guilt into them, you WILL get the meetup. As most things- this sounds a lot more fucked up than it is and everyone does this stuff unconsciously anyways- the people who are good at it just pick up on this stuff and channel it for their purposes.
Fri, 02/22/2013 - 01:29
#2
I used to think the guilt
I used to think the guilt thing was fucked up. But the truth is your just helping them to fuck you. So do whatever it takes...its all geniune stuff. Youre giving them what they want. Lol