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Failed to finish an unfishined job - where am I Fucking up?

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Joined: 11/14/2018

I knew this girl who was super into me since I'd act very aloof around her but she was a virigin. Once I got her isolated with me, I started escalating sexually (dick out, her jerking me off) and she was receptive untill I had to change her position and ask for a head. That's when the resistance came. Due to a combination of me not really being that horny, not caring and lack of experience, I didn't push it further and acted cool.

Not even did I not freeze her out, I gave her a hug to comfort her so she wouldn't be weirded out so we can pick up where we left some time later. However something flipped in her mind and her demeanour shifted completley. She'd talk to me like I'm her "subordinate" and I had no clue WTF to do and I revert to my default behavior when I don't know what to do: not respoding and pretending it's nothing. I though this was a lost cause so I didn't pursue it any further and she stopped chasing me as well.

Fast foward a year later, she's leaving the city and I wanted to give it another try. I hit her up and start talking with a boyfriend vibe (calling her boo and shit), she's receptive and happy to hear from me but then has to go. I play my usual game of giving her space to chase but she doesn't bite. So I reinitiate every 10 days or so. One of these times I'm lecturing on her future life decisions and apparently she doesn't like what I'm saying and is super mad at me and when I text her a week later she doesn't open my messages.

I never send multiple messages but after sending 4-5 messages she responds with "I have no idea why we are talking and how to handle you" and I reframe it as she probably wants me to take her out, she resists initially but then a few emotional/logical obstacles come up.

At this point, the only way to get her attention is to msg her multiple times which is needy af and to compensate I start heavy reframing and "active disinterest" which is not sustainable over long period of time. I eventually manage to get her to say yes, and framing it as me "prize" kinda and I start inserting sexual topics into the conversation. Like:

- Did you start watching porn? (She wouldn't in the past)

- No, only you watch porn. (Sarcasm. Qualifying herself as a grown up :P)

We're up all night talking and I get moody/emotional when I don't get enough sleep. Next night I somehow keep the sexual vibe going and ask her about sexual stuff she's done in the meanwhile to learn about her viriginty situation and also build some comfort and signal that I'm a cool guy who doesn't give many fucks. She's very open about the stuff she's done and I kinda get butthurt and let it slip through that I am. My own plan backfired on my ass. She senses the drop in the energy and tries to change the topic. I try to do damage control with a funny question "okay who's got the biggest dick though :))" to which she replies that mine has been the thicket. all good and I try to finish convo on a high note.

Next night - we're set to meet the next day - I ping her to see if we're set and she says she's not sure if we should meet and seeing me would complicate her life and she was thinking it'd be so nice to see me after all this time and had free'd up time and wanted us to go to this place bla bla. I ask her very directly whether she's still interested in seeing me and she comes back with "wait 4-5 days" (she's actually very busy) and then gets emotional and says she misses someone (I don't react), that she's crying, bla bla.  

Where did I fuck up here?

1- Sexualizing the conversation? It was never about "me and her" so I didn't know it'd create 'expectations'. and apparently I only created discomfort instead of comfort. lol.

2- Was it showing I was butthurt?

3- Not handling her when she's cancelling the date? Can someone show me how I can emotionally lead her in this situation? This seems so out of control. WTF am I supposed to do when she's crying and talking about another guy?

I text her the next day telling her it'd make her happy if we hang out. She doesn't read. I text a week later and she's kinda receptive and says we'd set a date after she comes back from travel. (legit excuse)

I call/text her during her travel. Zero response. Then she text saying she's been having a few bad days. I don't respond for a day and when I text her she won't respond for like 10 days and eventually when I confront her and going full-logical on her she asks me to stop msging her and give up and deletes my contact.

I text her a month later asking if she's happy with how things turned out, she says no, I text her 4 days later telling her we should not talk online but meet up. no response. text her a few days later saying her pic on another messenger is hot and she should stop being a kid and save my contact. no response but she saves me. now I comment on her pic, no response she deletes my contact :)). FUCK.

The frame is toally fucked here and I'm the one doing the 101% of chasing and I can see why she's losing attraction. But my game was not sustainable. Any tips?

P.S. Yes guys, I'm talking to other girls as well. I'm just pushing the limits.

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Joined: 01/18/2012
She's not a virgin it's just

She's not a virgin it's just a female defensive mechanism. And clearly here it's doing its job. Lol 

Tell me about this time you were lecturing her on her future life decisions? Is this typical of conversations you'd have with her? How'd you meet her? 

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Joined: 11/14/2018
Yeah she's a virigin. Just

Yeah she's a virigin. Just take my word on that.

I usually lecture her on stuff and teach her things, it's usually non-personal stuff . She loves it or used to, at least. Her problem was my 'delivery' and me acting like I 'know better'. It's kinda the shift in her demeanour I mentioned earlier. Oh and when I started talking to her after a year, and was explaining something to her, she was super excited and was like "it's been so long since you taugth me anything".

I cold approached her.

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Joined: 01/18/2012
No I'm not going to take your

No I'm not going to take your word on anything. Look I'm not gonna help you just get in this girl's pants you don't even sound that functional. You at least got nothing to offer this girl but "heavy reframing", "active disinterest" and semi-awkward attempts at sexualizing the convo. I mean more than anything you just sound like you're rude all the time and think that's game. Lol. Are you 21 yet? 

Talking about the guy was another defensive mechanism. You're triggering this girl stepping all over yourself trying to blaze your way into her pants. 

__________________

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - William Shakespeare & Pablo Picasso

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

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Joined: 11/14/2018
Manwhore wrote: You at least

Manwhore wrote:
You at least got nothing to offer this girl but "heavy reframing", "active disinterest" and semi-awkward attempts at sexualizing the convo.

Ok. What should I be offering?

Edit: my gamey stuff are only to get her out. I'm under the assumption that she finds me cool and attractive in person.

Manwhore wrote:
I mean more than anything you just sound like you're rude all the time and think that's game.

Not actively trying to be rude. Just saying what's on my mind while (trying to be) considerate.

My game is basically who's chasing who more. Nothing more complex than that.

Manwhore wrote:
Talking about the guy was another defensive mechanism. You're triggering this girl stepping all over yourself trying to blaze your way into her pants. 

What are the things I'm doing that is triggering her? Can you please explain.

Manwhore wrote:
you don't even sound that functional 

What part of my behavior makes you think that?