Skip to Content
-->

Avoiding Manipulative People - FR with some thoughts I've had.

6 replies [Last post]
BobbyBilfiger's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/14/2018

I met this girl in class a while back. I found her attractive. I soon found out she was not the type of person I would want to be intimate with and we remained friends. I have never met anyone like her. Let me explain.

 

I come from comfortable middle-class. My friends did too. This 22-year-old comes from a family that bought her a condo where she could live during her studies abroad. She has never taken the bus in her entire life, and she admits she doesn't know how. She is a "good student" and takes her academics "seriously". What else could she do, when her family has shielded her from everything else?

 

We were eating sushi yesterday and she told me she "loved" this guy in our class. I then had to endure half an hour of juvenile rambling on the topic. A woman sitting at the booth next to ours met my gaze, we understood each other. I felt empathy and sympathy from her. Or maybe she wanted to be the one talking to me. Probably both.

 

I tried to help my friend. I told her she should make a plan on how she will learn to be more independent, and learn usefull social skills that her family's overprotection made impossible for her to learn. She agrees, yet it seems like she prefers solely talking about it then doing something. I didn't insist - you can't change people who don't want to change, and I am not responsible for anyone's future.

 

We pay the bill and I am eager to leave her presence. Here is when it becomes interesting.

 

She tells me she has abandonment issues, and that she's had many friends abandon her. She asks me to promise I won't. I respond that I never intend to be hurtful to anyone. We keep walking. She asks what I'm doing this summer and if I'd like to travel with her. She says she'd pay for it, no strings attached. She just likes to spoil her friends(hips.) I refuse politely. We keep walking and she starts touching my shoulders, complimenting me, even comparing me to the other guy. At this point I've had enough and I make up an excuse and she gets into an uber.

 

I can tell that pursuing this friendship with this person is a terrible idea. I cannot even imagine what it would be like if we were fucking as well. While I don't blame her for how she behaves, I cannot in good conscience continue seeing her. I feel drained when I'm with her. These types of people are parasites in disguise. Unfortunately they often never find out how much their behaviour repels quality people from associating with them.

 

Next time I'll read the signs earlier.

 

If I seem to be judging her or occupying higher moral ground, I'm not. Having this experience reminded me of times when I'd do similar things, times when I'd try to get validation or acceptance out of women, times when I'd say certain things to ellicit positive reactions. Meeting this woman was a gift and a lesson, a reconfirmation of the right path to take, and the many paths to avoid. My friendship is not for sale, it is given to those I deem worthy. I discussed the topic of love with Jon in one of our sessions and it is appropriate to mention the content of that talk here. Love is about giving without any expectation. It is the definition of "no strings attached." You do not give to receive, you are not attempting to bribe, coerce or manipulate someone into a situation they do not want to be in. You give because it is the most authentic expression of how you feel about a person. After having that talk and looking back at my life I have not yet said "I love you" to someone and meant it in that fashion.

 

The more you learn the more you can look back at words you said and notice how their meaning was not fully realized. Like a child mimicking his parents' behaviour but not fully understanding what it means. We act out concepts before being able to articulate them, it is a peculiar way of learning in reverse. I digress.

 

Back to our little princess.

 

To guys who have had similar proposals, refuse them. Trust you gut. People who appear to act like victims are usually manipulative. Learn to see that in yourself and get rid of it. Learning game is about learning how to attract the RIGHT kind of woman, not just any woman you meet.

 

To guys who act like this woman, who try to buy affection, take some god damn training :P

 

Offline
Joined: 01/18/2012
Where's the manipulation

Where's the manipulation coming from though? Not quite seeing it

__________________

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - William Shakespeare & Pablo Picasso

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

Have you read the "Best Of MW's Forum" threads on Verbal Seduction, Physical Escalation & Sexual Mastery? Begin your education: Best of Manwhore.org/forum:

The ONLY Real "Drills-Based" Seduction Training:

Tap Or Click For More Information

BobbyBilfiger's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/14/2018
The manipulation comes from

The manipulation comes from the way she is offering her friendship and the way she is asking for certain things. 

There is a huge difference between asking someone to be kind and asking them not to leave. I can understand how she could be afraid of people leaving her, that's a fine, honest thing to admit to someone. Asking someone to promise not to leave you is attempting to deny them of their freedom to choose who they are friends with. 

The other part is the way she offers gifts as a way of securing my friendship. That shouldn't be necessary for me to want to hang out with her.

edit: the intention I had with writing this wasn't to talk about this specific person, but to talk about manipulative behaviours in general, recognizing them in ourselves if need be, and avoiding people who will try to manipulate you. 

Offline
Joined: 01/18/2012
Shiiiiiiit, bruh. She barely

Shiiiiiiit, bruh. She barely got her yellow belt in manipulation. This chick's harmless, ha! 

__________________

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - William Shakespeare & Pablo Picasso

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

Have you read the "Best Of MW's Forum" threads on Verbal Seduction, Physical Escalation & Sexual Mastery? Begin your education: Best of Manwhore.org/forum:

The ONLY Real "Drills-Based" Seduction Training:

Tap Or Click For More Information

Offline
Joined: 01/31/2012
Manwhore wrote: Shiiiiiiit,

Manwhore wrote:
Shiiiiiiit, bruh. She barely got her yellow belt in manipulation. This chick's harmless, ha! 

Yellow belt is an overstatement lol.

Daddyjihad1's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/15/2016
Nigga this is first grade

Nigga this is first grade lol. You ain’t see manipulation lmao. Did you make an excuse not to fuck this girl cause it sounds like you do but created a lot of shit to pussy out

__________________

My MW Skype Training Review --> http://manwhore.org/forum/content/hardcore-muslim-virgin-w-beta-mindset-...

Tinder Openers Guranteed to Get Your Dick Wet ;) --> http://manwhore.org/forum/content/jihads-patent-pending-tinder-openers

BobbyBilfiger's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/14/2018
Agreed that this isn't a big

Agreed that this isn't a big deal.

As for fucking her I think it would just be boring... she's a virgin who has kissed 1 guy once.