Vinces FRs Journal

@Vince:

last night spent 3 hours in the cold across manhattan looking for sets. i opened maybe 3 sets. but i am so happy because it made me realizE..

right now i am thinking that mometume momeumtum is key, basically i have some early inkinlings of beliefs that are sporouting and things are starting to click and i need to really drill it into my head as a habit by making it a habit of a full 30 day continous drilling in of this new behaviors patterns.

i just get out there get myself into state very quickly by 'mentally' forceing myself into a lot of awkward stupid situation i dont care.

it all started this weekend, i started to speak from the frame of authority in all my interactions , like direct physical, and keeping that frame strong . that is key that how i assume and enforce and weild that frame . the 2nd thing is the leading and the 3rd thing is stop being a nice chodey guy who is asking who what where questions, instead i need to , the way i play to win, i am more proactive trying ot make shit happen and going for the hottest that are attractive to me. and the taste of that success feels like its just a few mm from the tip of my tongue and i feel like i have a path , that going on even without any feedback from their side, and that i been very positive yet dominanting in the frame has made me realize, now - yes i have "something" growing.

1) frame control
2) always try to lead and lead her around, to the club, to the outside
3) fucking stop talking like anice guy, be an asshole i need to broach more sexual topics , if the girl doesn't tell me your weird or your this or that, or something like - i am doing it wrong. ( this also is like the asshole type of frame)


am so close to getting this that if i stop now , i stop solidifying these beliefs , these small beliefs that are just little ferns that need a tender love and care of a 30 day challenge to make these belief grow. 1) get into state 2) be loud 3) enfource the frame.

@Vince:
Three things : lead , frame of authority, talk sexual and dirry. And plow.
Drop a twenty on the table , stand up and say lets go. She obliges. I am only thinking lead from hw #2. Even though it is only to the other side of the bar - I make It a point to move her. Literally 5 feet.
I immediately go into my teach her dumb shit drill. I talk authoritistive about dancing even though I ve never danced I teach her salsa. Lol

I can see right thru womenly bullshit. I say lets goto my pad - she half convincely gives me an excuse. I plow past half hearted excuses with well be back here in ten minutes.


Hey you done with that drink ? Hey ....
Lets go

@Vince:
30 day challenge continues the momeumtum; last night got some milfs off the street, bounced to a bar near my place, chatted and tried puling them to pad. i realized my plowing is off the hook. a few nights before that, right before that, i goto 3-4 bars with joe , who is really a big ass pain, anyway open 2 set, friend leaves and i talk to her friend for a bit.
the feedback from last night was tht i need to screen harder for girls that are down to fuck, like i need to try to finger bang her, or try to find out logistics - are you down to leave your friend? i need to be more screening for dtf girls that is how to get quick pulls.
i plowed hard: were leaving the bar - i grab my girls hand then, and tell her 'listen you ' your not going to fucked up to your hotel room" your going back to my place", and then tells me shes not feeling well bullshit, i plow on, saying listen girl my apartment is right there you can rest and leave in the morning. i tell her were not having sex.
THIS PISSES ME OFF.that is why screeening dtf is so necessary. You dont want to have these girls come out have fun and then you end up with your dick in your hand at the end of the night.
good practice. jared said i could get the 10 min ones if i screen harder, and agreed about frame harder, lead more, plow harder.
weak mindset issues -- at dinner, --, the way i am speaking is completely coming from wrong mindset. i have the words "i got the chance", "i got lucky". last night before, Rich said the same thing , i am using the words like she date "high value guys", or "i got lucky" again as if ot say i feel they are higher value than me. the only mindset is that i am teh shit period. and even when i noticed how jared spoke even when we failed to close, he blamed iton the room or some other shit. it was never about "hes lower than her or other people".
this was concured by the forum dude: jvuluv. the 3 three biggest things that matter is entitlement, fully believing that you are entitled to it, not just logically knowing you are, man to woman, and playing to win.
what i realized about jared is that he is able to understand the "communication" behind the wrods. the meaning behind what they are saying. like they say one thing, read the facial expressions and know what they really mean - like hard listening. this has increased for me a great deal in that i am able to pay particulars about what small facial expressions mean.
back at dinner i asked jared about how his friends got good and he said 'it was the case of fake it til you make it', and at the same time he said they basically were very direct with them saying shit like 'hey you listen,here, look at me'.
something he said last night just got me thinking- he said he felt a calm and happyiness because he acheived everything he wanted to in life - he slept with all the women he wanted to. and i realized that my journey needs to do the same.
the cool thing about this pua dude is that he is very value giving. like on a deep level value giving type of dude. when he smiles, its always a geniune smile .
RElization last night; thelonger it takes for me to accept new belief systems, the longer we are going to keep going out and getting no results.

@Vince:
Recap:
tday didn't go out because it was dead. friday , i forced myself out at like 2 am , got into the brass monkey pulled the one gilr i though i would enjoy her for 20 minutes and extract, instead some shortie bald too steals her off me. two times in a row.

- i mainly go for black girls , bc i dont believe white girls will find me attractive lol
- since i was like 5 yr old, i allowed other people to dictate my reality and told me what i can and can not "be" as a person. this continued on into adulthood , blindly accepting what i now realize was just a "Sheath" cloth over my eyes attempts that were to put me down as a kid are being played on into my adulthood . my sig in below is accurate.
- met J, he gives me 3 xexamples.1) married chicks says to him, 'u r a player, and i am looking fora long term', he says 'k'. well, i only keep around those that are valueable for me. you were doing good in the running. lets see how that goes'. another example, when the girl2)when a girl gives a kiss to the bartender, he just doesn't call or text just fucking walks out n,3) some other example i can't remember.
- focus: i can't focus on completely making "deep " change, unless i handle these other issues right now becausei need to be able to give myself 100% to the process and i can't allow my mind to be distracted like this. finish off my other tasks in my head.
-a man's job: a mans job is to take action, whatever the result may come, i as a man job is to step forth my goals i wanted to get laid and i need to take the escalate, its alright if it goes south, because there are alot of girls out there who want to fuck, but by not bieng proactive and setting the frame . last night i had a girl who i wanted to fuck but a short dude too her away. why didn't i do anything to prevent it, like move her around ro amog the dude. he was a short dude so easy to do.
first off again he tells me the 10 minute pull intereactions are like this they are fast physical dominant and fun fun and they are high energy type shit.
all these are bits and pieces that paint a picture of someone who is dominant, who is a leader,( setting the boundaries )
the overall lesson from him was the abundance and being proactive about setting the expectations of how you expect others to treat you, and proactive about setting the frame and the way people interact with you , a loin in the field so to speak.
overall, i am thinking i need to a) develop massive abundance b) fake it til you make c) need to understand that as alpha is a selfish dude who gets what he wants, his intereactions and, he is proactive about setting up the environment, the people around him to better his needs. remaining passive or remaining docile, converative has no place in this society. i need to cultivate that massiveity in order to make shit happen.
this week finish off the tasks: free testosterone plus the school work , get your fuckign dieting shit on the fucking road just.
daily questions :
a) am i developing willpower ? ( dieting and practicing game properly - warmup until boss )
c) am i becoming an asshole , being proactive, setting my boundaries, expectations onto the world ? ( not accepting disrespect etc)

My reality and my power of reality and my mind is much more powerful than i had imagined.

@Vince:
i am sick of this bullshit. . .not satisified with these results. its been 6 months and have yet to even match my ex gf. enough is enough. this is just plain pathetic.

@Vince:
Out of curiosity, why you so focused in SNLs? I know SNLs are the holy grail of PUAdom but Why not be patient and wait till D2, D3 etc? I understanding leading and persistence but there are plenty of girls that don't sleep with guys on the first night.

@Vince:
im reviving my journal after a month "hiatus"
i want to view my progress though under a new viewpoint after reading Glovers book.

i need to view my actions thru - a different view a self centered and selfish and be willing to enforce my will more.

a) personal power & fear. am i giving away my personal power by not telling the truth by acting out of fear.
b) i am setting boundaries ,with people in how they interact with me ( alot of hte book talked aobut childhood fears of being overrun)
c) am i expressing and putting my needs and wants and desires first. are they a priority
d) survival of the fittest : its about enforcing your will onto others.
e) am i afraid of confrontations, are okay. being comfortable with people being pissed off at you, or
f) how am i dealing with "fear" and am i running my actions bc of "fear"
g) what is preventing me being "free to express" , the bull moose that is going this way or that way mentality.


"All significant behavior patterns are the sum of many, much smaller behavior patterns. The most effective way to change a behavior is to change its smallest elements." - MW

- creating boundaries
-- learning to put your needs above others
- not avoid confrontations w people
- not letting fear or awkwards or childhood modus operatus affect us.

Learning to live "purely" with integrity to my own soul,.....

@Vince:
the general theme of the night: was enforcing the will, putting myself as the "leaders" - something literally clicked lst night . I dont know what it was otehr than i felt 2012 went by quick.
it started off as me trying the "usual" method -- me chatting her up and then bailingi take the number and bail. i nside i cringe. later on, after that it went different.
i just kept re-opening her. there was a time where she said she was going to the bathroom but never came back, i went over to her as she was talking to some white dude, and started going off on her like we were married " i leave you alone for 2 mins, and your all redy talking to someone else" lol
at this point, i know i am pissed off she went off to the other dude, but i know i have destiny in my hands and i have to "make" whatever happens. Enforce her RAS. I know I have to lead the fuck out of her, and to the bar we go. then were at the bar, chit chat a bit , i tell her lets go downstairs. She starts to object saying " it wil be boring down there' I ignore her objection, tell her, "it doesn't matter, were going downstairs". Walk off like A president. put her in the chair opposite me, i plop in next to her. LIke a BOSS
at this point i also go on and tell her , i am the expert at "northern drinks" I am going to take her to "union square' and fed her samples of diffrent northern sytle drinks. lol
at this point , i dont remember the exact conversation but it went like " i dont know what (she) wants" and some other blah blah indicating her luke warm or unsure nature of our relationship. SHE NEEDS TO BE TOLD AT THIS POINT who is boss, and have anothers WIll enforced on her,
we sit down, i tell her something along these lines. " listen , i know what the best thing for you , and i am going to give ti you. I am the best person for you in this entire room " saying this half jokingly and half serious. Yea! BAM !!! she was luke warm to me, i needed to say this, because it showed, i was trully in command, and in charge . she was testing to see if i was 'in charge" of the situation. IT didn't matter what i said but the way i said it showed I was in command. Being in command feels more natural than ever once u "understand" it deep inside. i believe this could have been a shit test and i never even saw it, but maybe not, but it allowed me to project the over confidence, that "i know what she wants and i am going to give it ot her. I am the best for her" credit MW for telling me how to enforce the frame, your will on to her. this really turned her on for some reason because she started to tell me how much she liked me after wards.
I go on and tell her " , i just saved you from that white boy etc"
. i felt her get wet from this alone. at this point, there are two things going on, a)i am coming from the frame of leader/ b) i am free expressing myself unhibitied. c) i have surpreme assurity and conviction d) i am enforceing it shoving it down her throat. so awesome.
were then cuddling ourselves next to each other, we leave together. we go on the train and she comes up to me and cuddles.
if it wasn't for the getting lost this would have been a sleepover & fuck

just took a b language class
the biggest lesson was hte important of being present when i am out in field, and changing that belief system very quickly subconsciously.
what i realized even more looking at 'dates' from a 3D angle was like looking how much i dont take it, how "chode" it looks when the man is not dominant.
my behavior is not consistent yet, I still dont believe it deep in my soul, completly and this is coming across slightly in the way , i can tell because its too logical,, its not "natural" , my communication is not powerful, its not congruent :

my goals for 2013:

--COmmunicate Way more Powerfully. stop this hem haw, FILtered Communication - give me a full blown tonality. this not concise language, not sharp hard hitting, and not to the point, not self assured. they feeel it.
--calling them out on it, and being real, and make sure your communicating gets acxross, get verification or deal with the tension. but stop hiding. stop Afraid of being "found out" , being real. Dont have bullshit converstaions , if they are not interested stop talking
--learning to think in "emotional" terms, stop having these "Logical" interactions where you are basically - i did step 1 , now step 2 she should be attracted to me.
--You have to become present, before you go out, because you need to really "understand" how they are feeling. Being in your head is really hurting your game.
--continue to do what we were doing earlier ..learning to lead the hell out of her. Enforcing your will/frame control on to situation. Enforcing your self on to her is 'alpha', the way you are communicating is completely alpha - because its the subcommunication behind it.
Just a recap: i am not very "emotional"
understand the emotional aspects of communication. like we are "on the right path" but our communication doesn't off "real", its often times in consistent, because like alfredo said if you were really an alpha wouldn't you be so wordy or would you be so dominant by picking up them, and like you were on that back in october, you woulnd't be so "logical". The way you would speak would be 'concise' and it would be mad dominant. The only explanation is that there is a disconnect, again its not 100% true confidence, whether you are smart or not, just fucking say it. you think your confident on the outside but really what is happening there is a half way ness to it. like the body position is open, but you are doing like a 'relieve" side .

its working. my goal to increase my self awaremness, make conscious subtle thought patterns that aare negative and self defeating me. More than going out today, i went inwards.

Catching them and noticing them, realizing whats going on , and reframe it in a positive way . Powerful. You see if you dont stop and reframe it, you are accepting what that thought , pattern or statement implies.

this morning on the train, i looking out the window, a thought saying shes out of my league she would go for someone taller or wiht more hait, basically i am telling her that i am not good neough for her. its a direct admission that i am not enough.

i am asking the right questions - like what do i belief, what does this subcommunicate to myself, what is this doing to my own subconscious..

on the way to work - i dont remember the exact thought but it was , i about 'doing some easier work than i am capable of' becuase agin even though i know that 'logically i m smart enough as a person to accomplish alot of the things i want to , i am sending myself sublte subconscious messages that i truely believe that i am not smart enough - its not what i believe at heart in terms of my smartness.

in our work meeting today , i catch myself. In giving my status report to my boss i m thinking what to say would make him laid back, but i realized that under the covers i was subcommunicating something to myself that my work and my efforts are meaningless and hence my actions are not important and i realized this and correced myself to telling him the truth - what i was doing even though it wasn't exactly i was completed my tasks.

This was something that i realzied last night in the movie flight you thats what made the movie meaningfull it wasn't about the drinking but about personal integrity and lying and self worth. the dude felt better not because he stopped rinking but because his inside felt better that he told the truth and his conflict between his self concept and outside actions were resolved.

also i walk around with huge scar around my head, i have started to realize look were all human, i have nothing to hide, i literally tell myself i have nothing to hide from people , let them see with their eyes fully exposed , i am sick of being afraid of being found out or , its all in your head - no one really cares. those to me, are statements more about growth as a person than anythign else.

i am making real strides in this area.

me and my wing basically meet these two hiatian girls in the street, i am leading the whole thing, like we stop them street side chat for a bit, and say lets go up to gangesvorst. then we go there and i am like lets get them drinking and having fun..etc then took them to my apartment and i took mine in to my room and told the other to the couch with wingman...when i got into the room, i start to give her a massage and feel her pussy and start kissing her. at first she was giving me a make out and then she started to say she doesnt feel good and or drunk and sick and she just wants to hang out in my room . i felt bad for two reasons not for her, but because i didn't *take appropriate action* here because i didn't explain to her , or i didn't say what the fuck this is non-sexual buddy sitin shit - i didn't set a boundary and kick her out, i just sat there like by her side while she just chilled out in my room and i should have kicked her out right the and there, i felt like i lowered myself by not doing that, i subcommunicated i am not the man , because by me letting her just chillin and not do anything and then by me not saying anything while she was just letting her friend get close to my wing in the other roomthat was just wrong i was not standing up for myself right then and there. secondly i failed to really 'confront' the issue, she was in my room and i semi started to broach the topic like saying something like' listen are you a virgin? " , she started to explain her self like stuff like i need to develop feelings for a guy before i sleep with him, and i kinda felt bad for falling into her framea bit. again this is something i dont quite understand. because i dont have that strong frame yet and i need to build it where i say something and back down. part of it was i didn't want to piss off my wing and his girl but i think my wing a good guy more helpful towards my growth as person and game than his girl or lack there of.
, i will talk about all the good things i did las tnight like the first of all my emotional calibration was spot on, i wasn't too 'fake' at any point, i was so real and you can tell my mind was in the present i wasn't tryin anything specilal like trying to talk i was 'connecting more'.
i dont like falling in anyone's frame a bit like things feel wrong when i subtly accept a frame is being put on me, and i dont like it, when were in the bar and he tell sme to approach a chick i am like no and have to kinda accept his frame of being a 'caught' to approach and that i maybe i felt like i was supplicating a bit in side and i dont like that a bit either. its not building the hitler mentality were going for. ( i am going for a long way forward in terms fo game, i need to really stick to the plans we've laid forth , i am going towards something really grand on a big ass scale and vision of being strong framed , uber confident, taller shoes and shaving my head and etc)
the leading the emotional calibration is better and the self trust in my actions is something new , i what i reazlied is that having self trust i s wayy more importanta and that i am starting tonot fall back on another person taking the lead because i dont paralyze my subconscious, but you must trust yourself and your vision and your actions to be the right one and tha tyour opinion is the right one. whether or not its the right action is not up for debate or matter, its your trust in your facilities that your action is right then things will end up being right.
the emotional calibraiton the past two weeks has been in the sense i am being as real as fuck in these interaction with these girls i have like zero 'game' going on. and at the same time, i am talking to hime really connecting with them speaking to htem like an hour straight.
the second thing is my leading is strong ( where did it come from lol) , i have a real talent for managing and being the leader and giving out authority ( i think ) . last night we were in teh club, andi was like to my girl ' i am going to show u around this place' ,i tell my wing were going to walk around and i just walked them around, when its time to leave i tell my girl were going to get a drink at this 'bar', - go grab your jacket. , their talking to each other and i say to my wing look their talking their way out of it, my wing didn't want me to intervene, but i just walked over there grabbed her hand and walked out of the bar, i afterwards he was like'you were right' back there, in grabbing their hands, after that i realized , you may not see it, but your trust in yourself in important. another example is when we were at the freaking room and things ended with my girl and they left i basically said to him yea it sucks we didn't close ' , i said to him ' look man, you r going to thank me at the en d of the night when we pull a girl again and then we actually close " .

right now i am having some entitlement issues, seeing my wings fearlessness vs mine, i have to rethink whats going on with me inside whats my beliefs and fears and how i view my own attractiveness. i would have these same issues last year, but now i have a "method" to exmine my entitlement and deeply introspect myself , identify and correct those beliefs in real time. one of the things i will do is a) if i suspect a wrong thought pattern i will repeat the corect thought like ten times. b) if i suspect i am being hesitation because i am afraid i am not good enough , i ll force myself to open just to subcommunicate back to myself i am enough..

I hope the goal this week is to see myself pushing myself thru the night each night hard for 3-4 nights in a row and when we have developed the "mental environment" for us to be pushing myself and this will also be important for developing my mental strength as a person. this is the 're-writing' in my head that i need to get those beliefs come up and identify and face them right now , i know there will be a lot of awkward and situations where i will get blowout alot, but at at if i am not tackling and getting all the shit come out from the wood work, and feel the pain of emotional and mental strain , i wont make those mends - that will make me have a different this year than last.
At the end o this week if to be normal and have more conversations with a lot of woman and not feel lower or any hesitation about my value or hesitation about puting my needs and wants on the time, then i feel i 've created the actual "foundation" for creating that environment in my head that will permit me to get to the experiences i need to get to get good at this " the upper limit " referential experiences. when i get to that point there will be a test of my mental strength at that upper limits, but i need to correct the foundational stuff right now going up in my head. i feel like right now ; i am still building something wrong ; the great thing is i am quickly able to identify and screen it.

the outcome of this weeks training will be "make me feel" as awesome ( deeply) and that i am attractive enough

the goal is get "this" as a standard : so that you can get the referential experiences you need to.

secondly.

part of this is being as real as possible with poeple in terms of my personality, in terms of what i say because i need to hide nothing from them and me, because i am not ashamed of who i am as a person , i have nothing to hide.

i see a lot of difference from this wek to the last.
just the fact that, my wing, he's pushing me out of the comfort zone and making i am not leaving a venue too early aka giving up. am being pushed outside my comfort zones
the focus has been on stopping the gamey stuff and try to have normal conversations and just very basic type fundatmental stuff focuses on. eye contact, closeness, and actually listening to what they are saying.

when we were in a two set yesterday i asked if he wanted to switch places yesterday, he tells me that seems very unnatural and forced. i agreed at that point.

in another set, he mentions that i was talking to the girl in red dress trying my gamey shit with her trying ot make her laugh he saw the gamey stuff.

there was one case i noticed i will vibe with her and the moment i start to move in closer to her the vibe is more different its more sexually charged. though she wasn't attracted to me at least i learned what it entailed.

we talked about why try to close the first day, that i am too aggressive with trying to close after a date or two but to work on just trying to being the social man and not trying to close until you get at least a few minutes or more of solid conversation.

he sais something that half the time i am talking to him, i am like zoned out or not listening and i have no facial expression so i appear to not be paying attention,

I tend to look away alot.

that i need to listen more. and one thing that was awesome was that i was able to get my social muscles flowing after like 3 failed attempts.

basically +1 for me doing stuff pushing my boundaries than before, a ) keep ing on talking until i build enough state and b) approach girls with guys c) going in hard.

Ran around les for two hours on a monday night just to keep my day 11 of day 30 going.