Turning Questions into Statements/ the XYZ pattern
Sun, 08/12/2012 - 01:22
So I decided to make this post after realizing how HUGE of a fuckup this was for me today when asking this sexy lil cashier out. And also, since this has been a recurring fuckup for me, maybe it has for other people too.
The issue is turning questions into statements.
If it isn't already obvious, people who ask questions all the time come off as needy, annoying, dumb... there's a host of not-so-flattering adjectives that could be applied to these people. Kids tend to ask lots of inane questions, and is partially why sometime dealing with them for long periods of time can be nerve-racking.
So, the answer to not being like this would be to turn your questions into statements.
For example, the simplest but yet common one that I know I for one have made MANYYY times, is "asking" a girl out, instead of telling her. The simple example from my day today being
me: Do you wana hang out sometime?
her: ..... *not with your chodey ass
vs.
me: Lets hangout sometime babe, im gona take you out for the best gelato you've ever had ;)
her: *pussy starts dripping
What's funny, is as I wrote that just now I was smiling, but I dont even think that's much of an exaggeration. Seriously, the difference in phrasing is THE difference between being a fucking badass that lives life by his own terms, and being a needy chode with no dick in her eyes.
I've run into this problem countless times. And even the fact that youre phrasing something as a question makes you FEEL MORE chodey as youre doing it, so its just a terrible cycle. What's cool though is that there's a simple way to turn it around. I know people have talked about this before, so I'm partly writing this out to engrain this shit in my own head, but it literally this shit is KEY.
Another time I remember Manwhore gave me a text to send a girl. His was
MW: Yo show me these sexy new tan lines of yours
I read this, and then sent:
Me: You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours
^Now in this particular example I didn't specifically ASK a question, but it came off like i did because it looks like im seeking her permission to see sexy pictures of her, instead of just stating it matter of factly like something i completely expect her to do.
"You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours" might as well have a question mark in it because its like asking "Will you PLEASE send me sexy pictures of your sexy body plEASE!!! :D :D I'll let you walk me around by my leash if you do!!!!! I love you do you want me to help you move your furniture ill do anything as long as you tell me im a good boy!!!!!!
"Yo show me these new sexy tan lines of yours" is like "Yo girl give me that ass 'cuz i like it"
One is dickless chode, one is bossdaddy.
Here's what manwhore had to say:
@Alex123:
Also the text was "Yo show me those sexy new tan lines of yours." You said, "You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours"
One is awesome, one is vagina.
So anyway im not off my rocker here talking about how huge the difference is between this stuff.
So, with that being said, I just wanted to draw this to your guys' attention, and to my attention, and throw out some examples of how to turn questions into statements.
**********
“Do you want to see a movie tonight?” may actually be “I want to see a movie tonight and I want you to come with me.
Are you leaving now? may actually be “I don’t want you to leave now.”
“Are you coming to bed soon?” may actually be “I’m feeling randy and I’m hoping I can entice you into making love.”
These are just a couple examples I found here: http://decisionquiz.com/blog/2008/05/02/relationship-communication-skill...
But the woman that wrote that article makes a HUGE point about how this can lead to huge miscommunications in relationships and lead to unnecessary arguments and such. If you have time you should read it it's short.
An example I ran into while creating a text to send my cashier girl was this:
me: So does your stepmom's cooking beat Larry's? If you don't clean your plate tonight im tellin! It's cool he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
I read that back and I was like FUCK that. Because if anything i cant be asking questions right now b/c i have to get back to her chasing me frame, so I changed it to
me: I'd love to see a chef-off between your stepmom & Larry. If you don't clean yer plate tonight I'm tellin! Lol don't worry its not fair he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
Strangely enough after comparing them side by side I think I might actually like the first one better, because it is less words and therefor more minimalist. And it doesnt end on the question, theres a lot more value coming from the text that just asking a needy question so i dont think it comes off as needy in this case. Would be interested to know what MW thinks.
Anyway, not to digress or confuse anyone, lets get back to the topic at hand. Also at use in the last text is the XYZ formula at play. I discussed this in gogo's thread here http://manwhore.org/forum/content/so-close-here-need-guidance
but basically it goes like this: (X) if (Y) because (Z)
(X) is the statement, (Y) is the "if/then/or", and (Z) is the reason.
So in this text it goes (X)-chef-off between her mom and Larry, (Y)I'm telling Larry she thought his cooking was better, (Z)he puts crack in the bugjuice(Fruitpunch) so it's okay if she likes his cooking better
me: I'd love to see a (X)chef-off between your stepmom & Larry. If you don't clean yer plate tonight (Y)I'm tellin! Lol don't worry (Z)its not fair he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
Haha, sorry if that's getting a little intense/way too mathematical, I just found that it helped me. If anyone else has any other ideas of a good way to use/remember how to craft texts like that I'd love to hear it
The issue is turning questions into statements.
If it isn't already obvious, people who ask questions all the time come off as needy, annoying, dumb... there's a host of not-so-flattering adjectives that could be applied to these people. Kids tend to ask lots of inane questions, and is partially why sometime dealing with them for long periods of time can be nerve-racking.
So, the answer to not being like this would be to turn your questions into statements.
For example, the simplest but yet common one that I know I for one have made MANYYY times, is "asking" a girl out, instead of telling her. The simple example from my day today being
me: Do you wana hang out sometime?
her: ..... *not with your chodey ass
vs.
me: Lets hangout sometime babe, im gona take you out for the best gelato you've ever had ;)
her: *pussy starts dripping
What's funny, is as I wrote that just now I was smiling, but I dont even think that's much of an exaggeration. Seriously, the difference in phrasing is THE difference between being a fucking badass that lives life by his own terms, and being a needy chode with no dick in her eyes.
I've run into this problem countless times. And even the fact that youre phrasing something as a question makes you FEEL MORE chodey as youre doing it, so its just a terrible cycle. What's cool though is that there's a simple way to turn it around. I know people have talked about this before, so I'm partly writing this out to engrain this shit in my own head, but it literally this shit is KEY.
Another time I remember Manwhore gave me a text to send a girl. His was
MW: Yo show me these sexy new tan lines of yours
I read this, and then sent:
Me: You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours
^Now in this particular example I didn't specifically ASK a question, but it came off like i did because it looks like im seeking her permission to see sexy pictures of her, instead of just stating it matter of factly like something i completely expect her to do.
"You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours" might as well have a question mark in it because its like asking "Will you PLEASE send me sexy pictures of your sexy body plEASE!!! :D :D I'll let you walk me around by my leash if you do!!!!! I love you do you want me to help you move your furniture ill do anything as long as you tell me im a good boy!!!!!!
"Yo show me these new sexy tan lines of yours" is like "Yo girl give me that ass 'cuz i like it"
One is dickless chode, one is bossdaddy.
Here's what manwhore had to say:
@Alex123:
Also the text was "Yo show me those sexy new tan lines of yours." You said, "You should show me these new sexy tan lines of yours"
One is awesome, one is vagina.
So anyway im not off my rocker here talking about how huge the difference is between this stuff.
So, with that being said, I just wanted to draw this to your guys' attention, and to my attention, and throw out some examples of how to turn questions into statements.
**********
“Do you want to see a movie tonight?” may actually be “I want to see a movie tonight and I want you to come with me.
Are you leaving now? may actually be “I don’t want you to leave now.”
“Are you coming to bed soon?” may actually be “I’m feeling randy and I’m hoping I can entice you into making love.”
These are just a couple examples I found here: http://decisionquiz.com/blog/2008/05/02/relationship-communication-skill...
But the woman that wrote that article makes a HUGE point about how this can lead to huge miscommunications in relationships and lead to unnecessary arguments and such. If you have time you should read it it's short.
An example I ran into while creating a text to send my cashier girl was this:
me: So does your stepmom's cooking beat Larry's? If you don't clean your plate tonight im tellin! It's cool he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
I read that back and I was like FUCK that. Because if anything i cant be asking questions right now b/c i have to get back to her chasing me frame, so I changed it to
me: I'd love to see a chef-off between your stepmom & Larry. If you don't clean yer plate tonight I'm tellin! Lol don't worry its not fair he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
Strangely enough after comparing them side by side I think I might actually like the first one better, because it is less words and therefor more minimalist. And it doesnt end on the question, theres a lot more value coming from the text that just asking a needy question so i dont think it comes off as needy in this case. Would be interested to know what MW thinks.
Anyway, not to digress or confuse anyone, lets get back to the topic at hand. Also at use in the last text is the XYZ formula at play. I discussed this in gogo's thread here http://manwhore.org/forum/content/so-close-here-need-guidance
but basically it goes like this: (X) if (Y) because (Z)
(X) is the statement, (Y) is the "if/then/or", and (Z) is the reason.
So in this text it goes (X)-chef-off between her mom and Larry, (Y)I'm telling Larry she thought his cooking was better, (Z)he puts crack in the bugjuice(Fruitpunch) so it's okay if she likes his cooking better
me: I'd love to see a (X)chef-off between your stepmom & Larry. If you don't clean yer plate tonight (Y)I'm tellin! Lol don't worry (Z)its not fair he puts crack in the bugjuice ;b
Haha, sorry if that's getting a little intense/way too mathematical, I just found that it helped me. If anyone else has any other ideas of a good way to use/remember how to craft texts like that I'd love to hear it