REMOVED
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besides the fact that the text convo is a little bit vanilla. (i liked some of the stuff, like the voicemail, but i would probably do that to a girl later down the line.) you never suggested a tangible meeting spot and an exact time and aggressively encouraged it.
you didn't find out where she lived to meet near her or vice versa, you could've gained more rapport and teased her a lot more. you couldve been a little "edgier" and personable, letting her know somethings about who you are and found out more of what shes about.
you were a little wonder bread-ish. not bad but nothing amazing going on either.
i would have liked to have seen more fun energy so she's enticed, and more logistics.
"hey, meet me at Santinos bar tonight at 8:30, I'll teach you some cool guy pool moves ;)"
"lets liberate you from the shackles of med school tonight! Joes pizza at 8. will be fun :)"
your own version of this. its more cocky, fun, and encouraging
Good advice, man. You're right about a lot of things -- flashy text language has never really been my style, I've sort of crafted a personality based on the bland "What are you doing tonight" and built it from there. Like a guy who doesn't have time for fancy texts. That being said, I've invested so much in this convo that it's not really congruent.
You're also right I didn't aggressively push for the meetup. It's usually been my understanding that aggressively pushing through hesitance just builds more resistance. I like to gain compliance first - "Let's grab a drink" "Sure!" or something and throw in the logistics after that. Obviously that's not working in this case, since I never got the "sure!" (and the one time I did she backed off once I suggested a time)
Her: Right? I know I solved so many people's problems today
Me: I've still got some left
Her: Well like I said I'm basically a pro
Me: Maybe. Still not sure you could handle me though
Her: well I'm pretty capable
Me: I've been told that before
NEXT MORNING
Her: ya but I feel lie this one of those times when I can say don't worry I'm almost a dr
Her: :)
Any suggestiong on where to go from here? I've given up trying to figure this one out on my own lol.
Suggesting a place and activity so she knows what shes getting into and that its low pressure would be helpful in this case. Were thinking of encourage different. Not only do you save time by suggesting a time and place she knows what shes getting into. She may be stuck with you all night she doesnt know.
She may say yes then you say: Ok were going for a fancy dinner then to the opera then to dessert. Then she has to awkwardly make an excuse.
Doesnt have to be flashy can be laxed. "Im at the bar on cornet of blah blah st. Come meet up ill beat you at miss pacman."
If youre going to stick to the laxed bland player thing thats on you but youll get mixed results.Youre pretty congruent but not encouraging investment on her part. More persona level. She knows nothing about you and what youre about. As far as she knows your about bland laid back texts wich is why shes still responding cuz its congruent. You dont habe to tell her what youre about but subcommunicate it. Example would be to state your activity while texting her...just left trader joes, blah blah...
Her: yummm I love it there...you: oh yeh whats you favorite ice cream? Her:choc. You:tease her
Little things like this support real connection, getting to know each other, banter etc. Notice she tells you what shes doing anyway cuz she has girly attunement to that kind of thing
It may be in the garbage can already but heres what id do
Pick a day you want to meet. Leave her a lil while
Text her that day with a funny statement
then if she responds, a second funny statement or banter
Then immediately suggest a concrete meeting place in a laxed cool way. You can even say youll be there anyway if she wants to drop by. Do something low pressure so she doesnt feel like its a gonna be formal and scary.
Cool man, thanks for the advice. Definitely factoring this shit in my strategy.
She double-texted me this afternoon after I didn't respond to her in the morning. She is INVESTED. She's also only in town for a few more days. I will rack my brain to try to make this happen (she's very cute and we had a great vibe at the bar) at the same time I'm in freedom-from-outcome mode, so...I'll let you know.
Then I would focus on easy logistics for her and a low pressure meeting situation. A drink by her place or by yours. You could pick her up. Something short, easy, light, near her. Pizza, drinks, a walk in a park
"What area are you staying in?"
"I need some freshair. Come on a short walk with me at 7 :)"
"Come on a short study break"
If she gives you a hard time
"You only live once (take drakes advice)...dont worry ill get you home before your bedtime ;)"