FR Thoughts on drunk chicks, huge confusion of emotions
Sat, 07/21/2012 - 10:29
Hit up LES in NYC. This whole night was definitely terrible state-wise, but every night is a huge learning experience regardless. Literally for 4 hours straight my headspace was filled with "smog". I've been stressed a lot about work-related stuff and that's why. Like I had no intent, I couldn't figure out what I was doing or why or who I was haha.
I actually didn't have a whole lot of internal dialogue, I'm at the point now where I can accept a bad state and just observe it and roll with it. But retrospectively, I'd say my whole vibe was basically "why am I here, my job shit isn't handled, I need to take care of that, well it's fucking friday night in nyc and I need to handle my game even more than my job". Again I wasn't talking in my head like you'd expect, but my whole vibe was kind of "half-assed intent".
I know when I'm in bad state and I try to fake high energy I just sound like a door to door salesman. So I was experimenting "friendly and cool", super chill. Interestingly enough this was definitely my best "bad state" night ever. About half my approaches opened, and lasted a decent amount. Looking back I probably took it too far. I was too chill, trying to get the girl to chase me, definitely not enough intent. I'm not sure exactly, but I probably should've hooked the same way and just escalate fast.
Another weird thing is I had really high standards in my head tonight. I'm always down to take a 7 home, if even just for the adventure. I don't have a whole lot of pulls under my belt so any new experience is really good for me. But tonight, I could be talking to an 8, and if I wasn't interested fast I would almost stop talking. I was almost not even physically attracted to anything less than a 9. I'm guessing this was my fucked up headspace and my ego giving me excuses to stay passive.
One cool set I had, I channeled up some julien drama. I was talking to an 8, and it was kinda fizzling out, so her friend comes over and they eye-code each other, and what's funny was they eye-coded like it was half-on. Like my girl was like "eh well this guy is only half retarded". So her friend had this super confused look on her face, deciding if she should introduce herself to me or pull her friend away. She ends up doing both at the same time. She pleasantly introduces herself as Chloe, about to grab her friend, and immediately I chime in "Chloe I hate you. I fucking hate you." She looks startled but not too bad so I just throw out whatever else I could muster "You're fucking hitler. Worse than hitler. You ruined my whole life. I hate you more than anyone." At this point she grabs a third friend for like support or something and she's telling "if you say stuff like that you need to leave" and I'm like "I can't believe you're taking her side, you don't know what she did to me". Chloe got really quiet/started to look upset and said "I don't hate you" and at this point there's like bystanders at the bar looking at me yelling so I caved, immediately I put on a smile and say "I'm just fucking with you. I was just kidding. Are you ok?" And then everyone laughs and it's cool again and it's like the set continues. 30 seconds later I get blown out anyway lmao. This was a real shitshow of a set thanks to my clouded bullshit intent, but I saw some of the essence behind "shock and awe" emotional barrages. These weren't like shy girls staring at headlights, these were bitch-shields being cracked.
Very last set of the night, it's almost closing time for the bars. This decent-ish 7 is just sitting there, I open her and she says her name really slowly. Immediately I write her off as wasted, I don't deal with wasted people at all I feel like a rapist and I wouldn't want them throwing up on me or something. So we just introduce ourselves. She asks me where I'm from, I tell her and ask her back, my last extension of courtesy. I'm already avoiding eye contact, ready to drop the set and leave. She says "I won't tell you". Perfect, I say "you hurt my feelings, I'm leaving now" and like turn away. She grabs my necklace and pulls me in to make out, I resist, tell her she's too drunk. She says "what's wrong? do you have a girlfriend? tell me". Push her away. She leaves. I sit down on a stool, she comes back and grabs me and makes out with me. LMAO I got fucking cavemanned. Now here's where I have a lot of mixed feelings. Her breath didn't smell of alcohol. Her speech got a lot better. Retrospectively, I'm guessing she wasn't wasted, but tipsy and was just playing drunk to feel better about going home with a guy. But at the time, it's like my ego was just set on burning this set, I couldn't re-calibrate or figure out what was going on. I break the make-out and literally start asking her logical questions to prove she's not wasted. She puts up with 2 of them then says "ugh you're boring" and leaves.
I don't how to feel about it. I don't like how I got put off by the set being too easy. There was literally a big part of me that felt "you are not entitled to have sets this easy, this is bad, abort, don't take the adventure, don't push, don't find out, just crawl into a little hole". But then again what about standards and qualifying. It's like ideally, when I have all this shit handled, if I'm being a chode and the girl is into me, I shouldn't want her, because I shouldn't want a girl that's into chodes. Looking back though, I had like negative outcome dependence so this was probably one of my best sets. Was kind of like RSDBrad's infield footage, except at the end I go home alone to a computer.
Anyone with thoughts feel free to chime in, I rarely write FRs.
I actually didn't have a whole lot of internal dialogue, I'm at the point now where I can accept a bad state and just observe it and roll with it. But retrospectively, I'd say my whole vibe was basically "why am I here, my job shit isn't handled, I need to take care of that, well it's fucking friday night in nyc and I need to handle my game even more than my job". Again I wasn't talking in my head like you'd expect, but my whole vibe was kind of "half-assed intent".
I know when I'm in bad state and I try to fake high energy I just sound like a door to door salesman. So I was experimenting "friendly and cool", super chill. Interestingly enough this was definitely my best "bad state" night ever. About half my approaches opened, and lasted a decent amount. Looking back I probably took it too far. I was too chill, trying to get the girl to chase me, definitely not enough intent. I'm not sure exactly, but I probably should've hooked the same way and just escalate fast.
Another weird thing is I had really high standards in my head tonight. I'm always down to take a 7 home, if even just for the adventure. I don't have a whole lot of pulls under my belt so any new experience is really good for me. But tonight, I could be talking to an 8, and if I wasn't interested fast I would almost stop talking. I was almost not even physically attracted to anything less than a 9. I'm guessing this was my fucked up headspace and my ego giving me excuses to stay passive.
One cool set I had, I channeled up some julien drama. I was talking to an 8, and it was kinda fizzling out, so her friend comes over and they eye-code each other, and what's funny was they eye-coded like it was half-on. Like my girl was like "eh well this guy is only half retarded". So her friend had this super confused look on her face, deciding if she should introduce herself to me or pull her friend away. She ends up doing both at the same time. She pleasantly introduces herself as Chloe, about to grab her friend, and immediately I chime in "Chloe I hate you. I fucking hate you." She looks startled but not too bad so I just throw out whatever else I could muster "You're fucking hitler. Worse than hitler. You ruined my whole life. I hate you more than anyone." At this point she grabs a third friend for like support or something and she's telling "if you say stuff like that you need to leave" and I'm like "I can't believe you're taking her side, you don't know what she did to me". Chloe got really quiet/started to look upset and said "I don't hate you" and at this point there's like bystanders at the bar looking at me yelling so I caved, immediately I put on a smile and say "I'm just fucking with you. I was just kidding. Are you ok?" And then everyone laughs and it's cool again and it's like the set continues. 30 seconds later I get blown out anyway lmao. This was a real shitshow of a set thanks to my clouded bullshit intent, but I saw some of the essence behind "shock and awe" emotional barrages. These weren't like shy girls staring at headlights, these were bitch-shields being cracked.
Very last set of the night, it's almost closing time for the bars. This decent-ish 7 is just sitting there, I open her and she says her name really slowly. Immediately I write her off as wasted, I don't deal with wasted people at all I feel like a rapist and I wouldn't want them throwing up on me or something. So we just introduce ourselves. She asks me where I'm from, I tell her and ask her back, my last extension of courtesy. I'm already avoiding eye contact, ready to drop the set and leave. She says "I won't tell you". Perfect, I say "you hurt my feelings, I'm leaving now" and like turn away. She grabs my necklace and pulls me in to make out, I resist, tell her she's too drunk. She says "what's wrong? do you have a girlfriend? tell me". Push her away. She leaves. I sit down on a stool, she comes back and grabs me and makes out with me. LMAO I got fucking cavemanned. Now here's where I have a lot of mixed feelings. Her breath didn't smell of alcohol. Her speech got a lot better. Retrospectively, I'm guessing she wasn't wasted, but tipsy and was just playing drunk to feel better about going home with a guy. But at the time, it's like my ego was just set on burning this set, I couldn't re-calibrate or figure out what was going on. I break the make-out and literally start asking her logical questions to prove she's not wasted. She puts up with 2 of them then says "ugh you're boring" and leaves.
I don't how to feel about it. I don't like how I got put off by the set being too easy. There was literally a big part of me that felt "you are not entitled to have sets this easy, this is bad, abort, don't take the adventure, don't push, don't find out, just crawl into a little hole". But then again what about standards and qualifying. It's like ideally, when I have all this shit handled, if I'm being a chode and the girl is into me, I shouldn't want her, because I shouldn't want a girl that's into chodes. Looking back though, I had like negative outcome dependence so this was probably one of my best sets. Was kind of like RSDBrad's infield footage, except at the end I go home alone to a computer.
Anyone with thoughts feel free to chime in, I rarely write FRs.