Always Come Back to Your, "Beginner's Mind": Thoughts on Why Our Success Stalls Out.. And Why I Think It's OKAY (long)
Sat, 07/14/2012 - 00:51
So, okay...Basically, recently, I've been on this CRAZY CRAZY momentum where, for a bit, it was like, literally any girl I talked to was just INSANELY hooked from the beginning... Like totally into it. We're talking stunners, hotties, ugos... WTVR- it didn't matter. It's been pretty cool, but then, the past couple nights, I've been having some seriously off nights... Nothing opening, anxiety again... And I just had a little realization and I wanted to write it out because it seems, from some recent posts, that I'm not the only one going through this. (moved from my field report section)
Just to preface: I'm currently going out 7 nights a week with 2-4 days of daygame... I've had a couple 12 hour straight gaming sessions recently... So I'm really taking MASSIVE action right now... which is why realizations like this are really important for me, and anyone else that is taking similar action.
I think what it is, is that on some level, I'm attached to the RESULTS that I've been getting recently and AFRAID to just let go of them and I'm not willing to let my results, potentially, get a lot worse in the short term, in order to allow for greater "long term" growth.
That's why I started on this path in the first place- was for long term growth, because I had a COMPLETE willingness to sacrifice everything I thought I had, in order to build everything back up, from the ground, one brick at a time... But it's funny cause the second you start getting cool results you sorta forget that and it's like, "Oh well, thiis is neat.. I like this... I don't want this to go away"... and just like THAT... everything starts to go sour.
AT ALL TIMES we have to be willing to let go of our state, let go of our resutls, let go of what's been happening lately... just COMPLETELY let go of it and be willing to fail... each and every fucking night... we have to be willing to fail... we have to be completely wililing to fail and content to go home, simply having approached, not worrying about if it hooked, if we looked cool, if we're embarrased about the fact that the night didn't seem to match up with what we "think" of ourselves lately.
We have to be willing to let go of the results, of the "high", of the validation- we have to be willing to let go of ALL of that.... EACH AND EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WE GO OUT. Be completely and totally willing to fail. That's the only way to continue to grow- we have to be willing to continually put OURSELVES out there...
It's too easy to TRY and put out, each and every night, that "image" that we have developed of ourselves... but the more we do that- the harder it becomes, each and every night, to just put OURSEVLES out there... That same kid whose legs were shaking the first night he went out... that same kid who was SO FUCKING EXCITED at the VERY FIRST number he got (even though it was a flake)... we have to be willing to be THAT person... each and every night we go out...
And not just willing to be that person in a "fake" sort of way... like, "Okay, yeahh guys, I'm willing to be that guy *wink* *wink*"...NO...
We have to, at our very CORE, be COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY willing to be that kid... We have to be completely and totally willing to fail and to be stripped naked of who we think we are...
It is only through THIS process that we will improve. Because it is only through this process that we can ever build "CORE" confidence... Without putting that AUTHENTIC PERSON out there, each and every night, we aren't building, "CORE" confidence... we are just covering up what's really there... and eventually that layer of disguise will be removed and all that's left is the emperor without any clothes...
But in being willing to go back to that mindset we had the VERY FIRST night we went out, we go back to our TRUE NATURE... we are willing to fail, we have ZERO expectations.
At all times, we must mantain our "Beginner's Mind"... The "Beginner's Mind" is the opposite of the Ego.It is the mind of the individual who has ZERO expectations, ZERO thoughts of "who" or "what" he is.... to the beginner, EVERY conversation is a moment for complete JOY... Every number (real or fake) is a moment for complete JOY... Every rejection is simply the way of the warrior, a moment to express gratitude for being on the path we're on.
I am returning to my, "Beginner's Mind"... I am completely willing to have ZERO results. I am completely willing to have NOTHING open... and I'm not just saying that... I am willing to go out tonight and approach and get blown out each and every time... ITS THE FUCKING PATH... That's all it is. But even beyond that, I'm willing to get blown out, not even beacuse it means I'm on the path- but simply because it means, I'm putting myself out there...
At the very least- when it's YOU being rejected, you can find solace in the fact that you do, in fact, exist... You can find solace in the fact that you had the curouage to put your foot down and be completely accepting of the ENTIRETY of who you are- including the chode who lives inside of you...It's like, by putting YOURSELF out there- you are showing compassion to yourself, compassion to that, "chode"... You're telling that chode inside of you... "It's okay... I'm not afraid of you... you can be you... You can be nervous... you can be scared... it's okay... I'm not afraid... I'm going to let you be you and no matter what happens, I'll still be your friend... No matter what happens, I'm proud of you and respect you for who you are and what you're doing"
I know, some of this sounds hokie- but sometimes you need to get a little "hokie" in order to tell yourself the simplest thing... "It's okay to be yourself... You don't have to hide. You don't have to protect yourself....Because at the end of the day, I'll always be here for you, standing strong and firm, unwilling to let anyone hurt you... You will bend, but you won't break"
Anyway- That's it. Tonight when I go out, I will be COMPLETELY WILLING to fail. Completely willing to look retarded and to be rejected... because at the very least, I'll be putting myself out there... and at the end of the day that's the most important thing we can do.
Just to preface: I'm currently going out 7 nights a week with 2-4 days of daygame... I've had a couple 12 hour straight gaming sessions recently... So I'm really taking MASSIVE action right now... which is why realizations like this are really important for me, and anyone else that is taking similar action.
I think what it is, is that on some level, I'm attached to the RESULTS that I've been getting recently and AFRAID to just let go of them and I'm not willing to let my results, potentially, get a lot worse in the short term, in order to allow for greater "long term" growth.
That's why I started on this path in the first place- was for long term growth, because I had a COMPLETE willingness to sacrifice everything I thought I had, in order to build everything back up, from the ground, one brick at a time... But it's funny cause the second you start getting cool results you sorta forget that and it's like, "Oh well, thiis is neat.. I like this... I don't want this to go away"... and just like THAT... everything starts to go sour.
AT ALL TIMES we have to be willing to let go of our state, let go of our resutls, let go of what's been happening lately... just COMPLETELY let go of it and be willing to fail... each and every fucking night... we have to be willing to fail... we have to be completely wililing to fail and content to go home, simply having approached, not worrying about if it hooked, if we looked cool, if we're embarrased about the fact that the night didn't seem to match up with what we "think" of ourselves lately.
We have to be willing to let go of the results, of the "high", of the validation- we have to be willing to let go of ALL of that.... EACH AND EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WE GO OUT. Be completely and totally willing to fail. That's the only way to continue to grow- we have to be willing to continually put OURSELVES out there...
It's too easy to TRY and put out, each and every night, that "image" that we have developed of ourselves... but the more we do that- the harder it becomes, each and every night, to just put OURSEVLES out there... That same kid whose legs were shaking the first night he went out... that same kid who was SO FUCKING EXCITED at the VERY FIRST number he got (even though it was a flake)... we have to be willing to be THAT person... each and every night we go out...
And not just willing to be that person in a "fake" sort of way... like, "Okay, yeahh guys, I'm willing to be that guy *wink* *wink*"...NO...
We have to, at our very CORE, be COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY willing to be that kid... We have to be completely and totally willing to fail and to be stripped naked of who we think we are...
It is only through THIS process that we will improve. Because it is only through this process that we can ever build "CORE" confidence... Without putting that AUTHENTIC PERSON out there, each and every night, we aren't building, "CORE" confidence... we are just covering up what's really there... and eventually that layer of disguise will be removed and all that's left is the emperor without any clothes...
But in being willing to go back to that mindset we had the VERY FIRST night we went out, we go back to our TRUE NATURE... we are willing to fail, we have ZERO expectations.
At all times, we must mantain our "Beginner's Mind"... The "Beginner's Mind" is the opposite of the Ego.It is the mind of the individual who has ZERO expectations, ZERO thoughts of "who" or "what" he is.... to the beginner, EVERY conversation is a moment for complete JOY... Every number (real or fake) is a moment for complete JOY... Every rejection is simply the way of the warrior, a moment to express gratitude for being on the path we're on.
I am returning to my, "Beginner's Mind"... I am completely willing to have ZERO results. I am completely willing to have NOTHING open... and I'm not just saying that... I am willing to go out tonight and approach and get blown out each and every time... ITS THE FUCKING PATH... That's all it is. But even beyond that, I'm willing to get blown out, not even beacuse it means I'm on the path- but simply because it means, I'm putting myself out there...
At the very least- when it's YOU being rejected, you can find solace in the fact that you do, in fact, exist... You can find solace in the fact that you had the curouage to put your foot down and be completely accepting of the ENTIRETY of who you are- including the chode who lives inside of you...It's like, by putting YOURSELF out there- you are showing compassion to yourself, compassion to that, "chode"... You're telling that chode inside of you... "It's okay... I'm not afraid of you... you can be you... You can be nervous... you can be scared... it's okay... I'm not afraid... I'm going to let you be you and no matter what happens, I'll still be your friend... No matter what happens, I'm proud of you and respect you for who you are and what you're doing"
I know, some of this sounds hokie- but sometimes you need to get a little "hokie" in order to tell yourself the simplest thing... "It's okay to be yourself... You don't have to hide. You don't have to protect yourself....Because at the end of the day, I'll always be here for you, standing strong and firm, unwilling to let anyone hurt you... You will bend, but you won't break"
Anyway- That's it. Tonight when I go out, I will be COMPLETELY WILLING to fail. Completely willing to look retarded and to be rejected... because at the very least, I'll be putting myself out there... and at the end of the day that's the most important thing we can do.
Sat, 07/14/2012 - 04:44
#1
@buddhagames:
Aye, lots of
@buddhagames:
Aye, lots of good stuff here.
A big thing related to this is "james bond syndrome", where you start getting success and keep raising your standards for success. Eventually you hit a wall where you're "too good" to approach most sets. Of course it's all a mind fuck and you end up atrophying your skills until you realize you never completed the path and have to get back on it again.
Aye, lots of good stuff here.
A big thing related to this is "james bond syndrome", where you start getting success and keep raising your standards for success. Eventually you hit a wall where you're "too good" to approach most sets. Of course it's all a mind fuck and you end up atrophying your skills until you realize you never completed the path and have to get back on it again.
Sat, 07/14/2012 - 06:46
#2
Re: @buddhagames: Aye, lots of
@Magician: yep identity gets attached to new found level and then you dont want to do anything to fuck up this new identity. Except the identity is externally based and results in the person becoming stifled. Any time i crack a new ' level ' so to speak, this shit happens. Results become piss poor as a result and j get down on myself becase i try to hold myself to a high standard. Only thing ive been able to do to curtail this ego has been to lower the criteria for success, like you said. Even then tho, its so hard not to identify with your successes.
Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:01
#3
Re: @buddhagames: Aye, lots of
@Aequitas:
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie- just writing this post.. it was like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders.. just the pressure I was putting on myself to always have good sets and not get blown out... I was totally getting in my own way.
It felt great to go out tonight and be relaxed again, be chill again, be able to open and hook again... Tonight was a good night. I was... just me... and things flowed.
Appreciate the feedback guys.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie- just writing this post.. it was like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders.. just the pressure I was putting on myself to always have good sets and not get blown out... I was totally getting in my own way.
It felt great to go out tonight and be relaxed again, be chill again, be able to open and hook again... Tonight was a good night. I was... just me... and things flowed.
Appreciate the feedback guys.