Profile of a “PUA” Psychopath: Four Lessons To Learn To Protect Yourself From The Dark Side
Humans are generally altruistic in nature and desire synergy with like-minded individuals.. it’s what makes us feel happy and fulfilled, and successful as a species. Even if at times we stumble and make youthful mistakes, acting like proverbial “crabs in a bucket” scrabbling at one another to get a leg up and causing damage and pain to others in the process.. we feel the burn ourselves, and want to achieve a life where we don’t have to resort to such conduct. And even though certain learned habits can linger, many people these days are becoming self-aware enough to recognize and cut out their own predatory behaviors. (This is not a personal characterization but an attempt to forgive and forget past bad behaviors. It should not be used in some sort of CCP/Communist “shaming” strategy.)
But there’s another evolutionary strain of humanity in existence, and it follows a completely different survival strategy. As a professional dating coach and someone who’s spoken at men’s conferences for close to ten years now I’ve gotten to meet all sorts of interesting personalities. There’s a lot of very high quality people in the men’s development community. But mixed in here ‘n there are the denizens of that other breed of humanity. The mental mutations known as sociopaths..
They hover around, highly attracted to us and what we do. They are obsessive creatures by nature, and if the “idea” of women fits their particular mold, then they will pursue it with a frenzy that can be absolutely bizarre to witness.
The Breakdown of a Sociopath
It’s hard to understand just how different these types are, and when people do realize it (mostly by getting caught up with one and experiencing it firsthand) it is downright chilling to see how the “normal” code of ethics governing human exchanges can be twisted and exploited to achieve ends completely contrary in nature. All the emotional dictates normal people take for granted flipped around. All of them. In ways most people could not fathom.
I’ve chronicled my dealings with one sociopath in particular to make it more clear.
Actually the correct term for this one would be psychopath as he’s held professional jobs before and can function alongside other people to a certain degree. But as is their nature, he preys on the people around him, can’t help it. He literally can only see his own wants in everything. It was almost funny to point this out to him. He’d be trying to get people to go along with something and I’d point out how blatantly it went against the interests of everyone else in the group.
He is obsessed with “upping his laycount”. Everything in his life is primed for this purpose. He draws lackeys to himself, young naive guys that look up to him, then uses them for whatever purpose he needs. Which is mostly to draw in females. Which he then steals.
And he’s not satisfied with stealing just the women they meet when they’re all out together, he will try to talk his “friends” over and over again into allowing him to bang their girlfriends. Of course anyone reading this article I’m sure is completely dumbfounded by the idea of giving someone permission to bang their girlfriend, the very idea of it is 100% predatory in nature (unless you’re into that sort of thing), but you’d be surprised by the sorts of mental gymnastics a sociopath can pull off and convince others of. A sociopath knows no boundaries. And he does it without blinking an eye.. which seems to be about 80% of what it takes to “normalize” something that would otherwise seem outlandish. You may find that hard to believe, but I’m only trying to warn you. The other 20%? He figures out different ways of appealing to human empathy to guilt trip people into compliance. It’s worked for him twice (that I know of), and obviously everyone involved afterwards was ripped up over it, but to a sociopath emotional consequences are of NO consequence. He’s just trying to up his lay count, and if there’s a girl around, he must try to have sex with her. No other laws of nature or humanity apply.
When he was trying to market a product in the SEO/aff scene down in San Diego, he couldn’t help but try to bang the wife of the millionaire marketer he was hitting up to help him sell his product. Literally the kind of person that could have changed his life, and he can’t help try to bang the guy’s wife. “Pickup” or “seduction” does not represent a healthy pursuit, it’s purely pathological for him.
And he’s horrible at sex. Completely awful. Insectile and machine-like. Taking something so sensational and turning it into something utterly devoid of feeling. Completely mechanical, without thought beyond the simple single-stroke motion his dick needs to feel friction. By his own account girls have literally jumped off his dick mid-stroke because they got bored.
By the end of this you will have a better idea of how I’m privy to such details.
It apparently takes a large degree of personal resolve and will power to withstand or thwart these machinations. I have seen people I thought to be very level-headed and even strong-willed fall prey to the easiest of ploys. All because they were afraid to speak up or maintain personal boundaries.
He cannot peacefully coexist with other guys that actually have “game”, a personality or a strong will, because he gets insanely jealous of other dude’s successes as well as the fact all his women invariably starting coming onto them. Which drives him batshit because it’s probably the one thing he has NO control over. Several times I got laid in group scenarios and he didn’t and this drove him up the fucking wall. A psychopath can put on a decently convincing show, but there’s nothing behind the mask, no connection or relationship going on other than asking the women he sleeps with questions about “game” or trying to fish for compliments. The dude is in a constant search for validation and doesn’t know what a real relationship with a woman is supposed to be, so anything past a casual hangout doesn’t work out very well.
I let him stay at my house a few years back. It only lasted a month and a half before he crossed a boundary I wouldn’t allow. Whereas most people explore life in terms of creating experiences, he seems to like exploring by attempting to finagle or manipulate any situation he can. When he started trying to fuck with bill and rent money that was the one boundary I told him he couldn’t cross. But sociopaths have little to no self-control, once an idea’s in their head they don’t come off it.. so that was that.
The Dark Side of Game
There’s no part of his game that is originally his. Everything is stuff he’s seen, he’s simply repeating it at a manic pace. Night after night day after day. “Do these moves, unlock this level, penetrate this hole, win.” He’s spent every night of his 20’s intoxicated (this is what he says). Drinking helps him get laid, ’nuff said.
He would make demands saying as his wing it was your obligation to help him get laid, but this absolutely did not work in reverse. In fact there was no actual companionship or meaning behind any of this. He’d simply figured out that by saying these things people responded positively to his demands. Lol. He doesn’t actually understand the emotional scope of the “wingman” relationship, he just read about the concept of wings on the internet somewhere and repeated it. That is that sociapothic lack of empathy in action.
As his wing he would put all sorts of guilt trips on you to get you to help get him laid, yet was himself incredibly stingy with girls. Multiple times one of his girls wanted a go at me and he’d throw a fit. Not that I wanted to take a girl off him, but there were several situations where he tried to say we shared girls, yet would balk last second. He had NO qualms about taking a girl off a guy, yet screamed “wingman code” when it came to girls he had. Derp. Sociopaths and psychopaths feel and identify with certain base emotions of human existence. Think “Maslow’s Hierarchy”. Territoriality and adversarial threats occupy a huge part of their massively underdeveloped emotional spectrum.
As far as “game”, I called what he did “House of Cards” style. Meaning it was all lies and bullshit stories he compounded and stacked on top of each other to gain compliance from girls. It was fucked to watch. I simply could not believe the type of shit girls would fall for. We’d have a couple girls with us telling us they had to get back ‘cuz they were meeting with their friends at 10pm for their table at such ‘n such a club. So he would make up a retarded lie about us having a table at XS to get them to stay. Oh that wasn’t good enough? Well ours was at the dj booth. Oh they had drugs? Well they had every drug imaginable! You name it girl.. we got everything shipped in from SF and Canada! We have dozens of everything just lying around! He’d wear them down with a story he’d concocted just for another chance at getting them back to the house and banging them.
He’d tell every waitress at Hooters that he was a big name dj in the city and that he was constantly looking for girls to private bartend for the parties he threw. He’d tell them they could make up to $700 a night. He did this even within just a few days of moving to Vegas. I remember another dating coach and I were sitting there at the table with him at Hooters, who hadn’t heard this particular spiel (I’d heard it a couple times already by then), and we’re both sorta ducking our heads, like we’re pretending we’re not actually involved with this horse shit. This is how he got their numbers then he’d try to get them to come over and model some costumes for him. He tried this over and over with every waitress he could manage to lock down for longer than 5 seconds of conversation. And didn’t matter who’d been talking to her first he’d just come in over the top with that. Zero thoughts as to the absolute lack of integrity and honesty going on. All that mattered is that it sorta worked.
The end always justifies the means in a psychopath’s mind.
Sometimes these scenarios would turn shitty. And you’d wind up in a situation you had no idea how you’d gotten yourself into.
Sometimes the girls would catch on, but still be playing the game. If I had to say what was going on it was almost as if the girls were afraid to call him on his bullshit because they were still holding onto hope. They didn’t want to call him out and find out they actually were stuck with a dude that awful. And if they held up the illusion, they’d somehow manage to convince him to keep playing nice rather than just going straight off the deep end. The girls were more afraid of things getting worse rather than risk trying to improve their situation. That’s a part of female existence that will always have my sympathy on lock.
One girl ended up calmly telling me “I’ll fuck you.. no I mean I’ll suck your cock for 45 seconds if you give me and my friend a ride home.” I looked at her calmly, turned and went back inside. That is not what I was in this for. But I also knew that a certain part of her was drawn to the idea of it. Sexual “victimization” is a female fantasy. Those are just not the rules I play by.
But then of course there were plenty of girls that just went along with it. They believed the lies or they didn’t care. Happened plenty. Young, dumb, intoxicated.
He stayed at my place for 1.5 months, went out every night, very intoxicated. Banged 16 girls. I went out 2-3 nights a week, nowhere near as intoxicated. Banged 7 girls. 15 nights vs. 45, you do the math. I still talk to some of those girls. Girls in his life just consider him a dark chapter, the whole experience a nightmare they got trapped in for awhile. Like the girl he wouldn’t give a ride home unless she sucked his dick. And she had to keep sucking his dick the whole way home because if she stopped he pulled over. But apparently she made it back home, so.. good for her?
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He always had to have other guys around him so he could ping off them while interacting with and pulling girls. Accomplices so to speak. It’s how he kept up appearances of normalcy. Otherwise he couldn’t do it because any sort of one on one conversation between him and a girl didn’t work out that well for him. Once she saw how monotonous and one track record his mind worked the magic faded. So yes pretty much every pull he’d have to have other people involved. Anytime he would come back and see me with a girl I’d pulled solo he’d be almost in awe.
Here’s a microcosm example of how all this worked out. Full empath versus highly functional sociopath. One night all the boys go out, I pull early by myself and am back at the house regaling this cutie from XS nightclub with stories. I’d thought she was ready to get laid but she actually wasn’t having it. I didn’t mind she was very cute and fun and smoked a bit of cannabis. We’re chilling on my couch together and I tell her an old story of mine from a few years back. It’s an impressive story for sure, but everything’s in the delivery. 😉
I finish with the whole debacle. She looks at me, her eyes widening her jaw lowering. She’s sorta in awe of me. The moment is hot, sensual. This is what we’ve both been waiting for. I take out my pet rock collection and guide it softly towards her mouth. She sucks on it for a bit, life is great. I enjoy the extra feeling of having earned her admiration in such sensual fashion. Then she stops and looks up at me. She wants another story. Lol. I tell her another good one, she’s once again very impressed and gives me more head haha.
She leaves as the boys are getting home, never to be heard from again. I bet she still regrets not fucking me ;). It’s my old wing “Rogan” with a girl, “Boogie” and his girl, and mr. sociopath with the girl Boogie had originally pulled but that he’d had stolen from him, as per usual. The girl that was with Boogie at this point was a girl he was dating that he’d called up when they were leaving the club. Anyway sociopath pulls the girl into his room and can’t get anything done with her. Lmr.. the apparent bane of every “pua’s” existence. So he “graciously” gives her back to Boogie. Boogie goes in there, leaves the other girl out in the living room lol. He fails as well. Rogan at this point is getting head from his girl in the backyard or somewhere in the vicinity, lol. Sociopath tries again, and fails. None of his scripts or tactics are working so as a last ditch effort he does the one thing he didn’t want to have to do. He gives me the green light.
Like I mentioned he was insanely jealous of other guys’ successes, especially mine. As a rule, anyone that thwarts or attempts to thwart a sociopath’s machinations is deemed “the enemy” in their minds. It’s a very childish and immature emotional projection, but it is very real. And as anyone that’s tangled with a sociopath can tell you, they don’t follow normal guidelines so be ready to deal with some off the wall shit. We would all get a taste of this later on.
Anyway he finally says alright Jon you try. So I went in there, and just felt the situation. Felt the roadblocks in her mind, the objections, weighed the experience she’d just had of two different strangers trying to get at her, lol…
Emotional Color Theory
Emotions can in many ways operate very much like a color wheel. Each color has an equal and polar opposite color that it faces across the wheel, and though complimentary and equal, they exist in stark opposite relation to each other. Blue and orange, red and green, purple and yellow. Using them together in various combinations has an effect on the perceptions of the eye. This is science. How you arrange them is art.
Emotions can be understood in the same way. Wing theory, student/teacher bootcamp dynamic, workplace relationships, seduction.. all operate according to a complimentary and contrasting use of emotional mixing and matching and contrasting to make it work.
But there’s more to it than that.
Too boring or similar a use of color, the scene is under-stimulating, or.. the girl is under-stimulated. Think chodes or betas, nice guys or white knights. But too extreme or complex the use of colors and the eye can’t even concentrate. Same with emotions. Think “ADHD club girls”, strippers, and for guys think “game intermediates”, overly aggressive dudes, shitty “naturals”, egotists. And though sometimes overloading a girl can be useful, and fun, (ha!) typically the way to go is a nice energetic balance- when things are moving in the right direction.. and the proper use of emotions and influence to neutralize and inspire/lead someone in the RIGHT direction when they’re not. E.g. sex, romance, or even platonic situations like common goals, work hierarchy, family, being a coach/trainer, etc. Sometimes the emotional transition can be hard, abrupt. Like what I was about to do to the girl in his room, lol. Or the time the girl whose best friend I’d slept with previously tried to tell me we couldn’t have sex because she felt bad about her best friend. Or the 6’1″ mother hen Amazon that tried to steal a girl off me, announcing with full conviction and authority and grabbing her arm to yank her away. Or the obese unhappy sister attempting to corral her younger hot sister from going up the elevator with me. All these required a bit of a heavier and faster hand in dealing with the strong emotions of the scenario. And all of them turned out the exact same way 😉
Basically, when a girl gives you resistance you want to figure out what’s going on in her head, so you can help her out of it (her clothes) and elevate her to a better place (your pet rock collection). So when I walked into the room and started talking to the girl he’d pulled back to the house, I simply matched/neutralized each layer of resistance, peeling it back like the layers of an onion. She was giving us both head within ten minutes. It’s not like she hadn’t wanted to, it’s just that previous attempts were completely amateur and blockish.
I’m not saying what I did was genius, but I ain’t saying it wasn’t either 😉
I’m sure it was her first time as she was shocked at my first mention of the idea lol. But I was able to ping back her emotional reactions with corresponding emotions to neutralize and then lead hers in the right direction. How exactly? Well that’s proprietary.. and not a bad thing. Everyone involved had a very interesting experience at the very least ;). If you’re interested in learning more join my coaching program. MW Coaching Program Form
But understanding emotions in this context ISN’T just for getting laid however. When dealing with people on any level it must be taken into account. And this is also why women say men don’t understand them. And when I listen to most men talk to women I think the same thing, ha! Men say things so out of place. Delivered in such awful timing, tonality and rhythm. A dude might have complete understanding of how he feels about the situation, which could very well SOLVE the situation with a woman, yet he simply can’t get the moving parts working to actually do it. Because 90% of men do not know how to communicate emotionally. Too bad! It is now the common era and it is time to recover this latent masculine ability.
What You Can Learn From Sociopaths
There are however certain situations that sociopaths navigate correctly that otherwise slam most guys into the “friendzone”, net them a “creeper” reputation (because of their tentativeness in handling situations that don’t slow a sociopath down in the slightest), or the most common, condemn them to “nice guy” social self-paralysis. Without giving up your humanity and falling to the dark side, here are a couple advantages sociopaths have that you can also use yourself:
- Sociopaths have zero regard for social convention.
They don’t even recognize it as a concept. And this is extremely helpful when gaming, because when it comes to sex and romance and relationships between men and women.. society has it completely wrong. Most guys bow to social conventions without even realizing.. ascribing to some brand of Disney movie horse shit to help them navigate the dating scene and failing MISERABLY for years and years. LOL! The truth of dating, romance or picking up girls goes completely AGAINST social convention. You MUST be willing to redefine the rules to make things work with a woman. Think I’m wrong? Do you resent that? Too bad. (Update 2021: Social conventions have certainly shifted since the era of this account. Women are freer in their sexual decision making and even resentful of past social stigmatization of female sexual behavior. You can expect women to be more prone to pursue their own sexual desires, as well as not be so beholden to patriarchal “caretaker syndrome” from other people.)
- Sociopaths are emotionally indifferent.
Now I can say this, but the true meaning of it will escape most people. Because most people are slaved to their emotions in ways that completely escape their conscious grasp, it takes training and self-development to peel back the layers of your own consciousness and learn to explore and shape your own emotionally instinctual responses to situations. Most people live lives enslaved to mental chatter, their own emotions wreaking havoc on them. And everyone knows that women hold a very powerful emotional sway over men. So learning to define your own emotional reactions and even physiological responses to situations or people will massively increase your results and experiences with women. But sociopaths take this to a whole ‘nother level. Because most of those emotional intricacies don’t even exist in their heads! And since they cannot possibly trip themselves up over emotional signals they’re oblivious to, they take sometimes take would be considered “right action” in a situation, regardless of the internal emotional havoc that usually reins supreme over most men when dealing with women. By staying focused purely on their own selfish interests, narcissists by default, they create huge opportunities for themselves.
- Sociopaths have excellent subcommunication.
They can be the epitome of stoic. Their eye contact can be as piercing as anyone’s, and their bodily responses (e.g. facial expression, body language) communicate only exactly what they want. And though plenty of their subcommunication is massively underdeveloped as they lack “humanity”, what they do have most of the time works EXACTLY how they want it to. When it comes to women and dating, it’s mostly about the mistakes men don’t make rather than the things they think they’re doing right, that bring success. Since a sociopath only chooses to repeat what he has seen work, and does nothing else (as he lacks the ability to generate natural responses to human interactions), there aren’t very many signals women can pick up on to clue them in to what’s really going on.
- Sociopaths have unrelenting resolve.
I bet a lot of you think you’d easily see through this guy, resist him, even tool him. This is not the case. Most people fall for his bullshit, not because they want to necessarily, but because they simply don’t know what to do. It doesn’t respond to your signals of discomfort, to the tension on your face, to your complete lack of comfort when dealing with him. In fact it uses it to gain compliance from you. He will put pressure on a person till they simply take the easy way out.. which is going along with what he wants. Unwavering resolve, the most bizarre logic imaginable, and simply not responding to reason or any other possibility but its own dictates. Just remember it’s a sociopath.. people are not trained to deal with this sort of emotionless yet seemingly emotional barrage. And most people are sheep. They want to be told what to do, they’re looking for a leader, they’re asking to be tooled. Want another real-world example? Think of intimidation tactics used by cops to coerce people into giving up their rights, needlessly admitting guilt, or simply acting suspicious because the level of tension a cop can project is too intimidating for most to remain calm under. It’s not fair, it’s not right.. but they continue to do it and most of you continue to fall for it. But should cops and sociopaths be the only ones in command of such abilities? Of course not. You should absolutely develop them as well, because as weird and backwards as a sociopath’s application of what “regular” people might deem “inner strength”, it is the single MOST “attractive” thing about them to women.
The aforementioned sociopath would eventually convince Boogie to let him fuck his girlfriend, a fact that tore at Boogie afterwards and sent him into personal exile. Every once in awhile we’d hear about him but we never saw him again. For weeks the sociopath had been secretly pestering Boogie behind the scenes into giving him permission to fuck her. When it finally happened I was disgusted.. it was bad enough Boogie couldn’t maintain his own personal boundaries, but to basically force a girl through such an experience was something I deemed unforgivable. The subtle mental machinations the sociopath used in this case were convincing Boogie he apparently “owed him” for mentoring him in the game, and appealing to Boogie’s ego by reframing it as if by him choosing to allow it he would be demonstrating he’d “escaped the ego” and was now above “approval-seeking behavior”. To the common reader this might not make any sense, but to those deeply involved in the pickup scene these are seen as a personal benchmark. Except the sociopath had kidnapped these ideals and subverted them for his own gain. Once again being concepts that meant nothing to him except to be used for his own manipulations.
A short time after leaving my house he was arrested for first degree kidnapping, coercion with threat of force, and public lewdness. After pleading guilty to very reduced charges, he moved to California and started a pickup coaching business with several similar individuals. Two of them have since faced similar charges.