I'm Getting Better At Texting: Practice Makes Perfect (Texts + Analysis)
Mann, when you start to get good you start to get a little bit of an ego, and I've seen glimpses of it in myself and DEFINITELY seen it in other guys. This is bad. This is anti-mastery. This is how the strong eventually become weak. I’m in this for excellence long-term and I want to continue to walk the path and not ever think my shit don’t stink.
So my in-field game can be really good and consistent at times, and i have a fairly solid game after taking 2 RSD bootcamps and then really solidifying my shit with 2 months of training with Manwhore. But that's now what this thread is about.
On the other hand - my text game CURRENTLY SUCKS AND IS A HANDICAP. If my in-field game is advanced, my text game is newbie/lower intermediate. And you'll come to see in my past convos that i'll post up and some of my more current convos, it just isn't up to par with my in-field. I according to my best friend who really understands text game (Haze) these are my problems:
1. Still lack a proper understanding of proper framing
2. Still way too invested to outcome (I want a good result so baddd). Which makes no sense. No woman ever will complete you. Your brain wants to believe it - but it's not true. You are enough!
3. Not internalizing the lessons from the mistakes i made.
4. Try to be impress rather than express. A symptom of #2.
After sharing text threads with friends, and them bashing me over the head w/me making mistakes and me failing repeatedly - I’m finally going to fully apply myself with text game. I know I can do it. Even though the main priority in life is my focus I just have to stay focused and keep doing it. It’s my one big glaring weakness of the game and while I’ve gotten good at being able to circumvent it, my goal in the game is to be the type of player who can seduce a girl I’m interested in any sort of situation. So how am I going to get better? Review text game material and write up analysis of EVERY text game interaction. Also, I’m going to limit myself to one canned line per interaction, so I can just naturally improve my on the spot wittiness and continue to further my knowledge of frames.
You’ll probably enjoy this thread, or you may not. I plan on updating this thread at least 3 times a week and in my spare time contributing to analyzing some of the better text threads (i.e. Manwhores) and even the shittier ones besides mine. Any convos I contribute to this will be fully analyzed. Feel free to critique the convo or analysis.
Sun Mar 9 23:37:45 Me: nice to meet you -Katalyst
Sun Mar 9 23:38:37 Her: Nice to meet you as well. -XYZ
She’s REALLY DOWN. It was a good approach. See FR from 03/09 – Quick synopsis: I met her a couple of hours earlier on the subway in front of a large group of guys and girls I was with from my friend’s dinner party I went to.
Wed Mar 12 21:38:19 Me: I was just thinking that I should cut my hair and be a younger version of Billy Blanks
Wed Mar 12 21:39:19 Me: You could be my intense sidekick in the videos and handle all the marketing - I could make the website
Wed Mar 12 21:39:43 Me: I'd have to keep 95% of profits though ;)
A little bit overdone, but it’s a bit of callback humor – she works in marketing and is intense. What’s getting me thru is wittiness here. A tad bit cocky as well but a little try-hard
Wed Mar 12 21:39:44 Her: Aw yeah
She likes what I have to say. And is biting, so it’s ok. What’s getting me thru is the expression. When I get super advanced at text game I’ll work on making my texts shorter and more concise but one of my current sticking points is trying to impress thru text game.
Wed Mar 12 21:39:57 Her: Damn u drive a hard deal
Idk what this means
Wed Mar 12 21:40:33 Me: Ok fine I'm negotiable
Wed Mar 12 21:40:46 Me: I'll only keep 90% ;)
Slight empathy.
Wed Mar 12 21:40:16 Her: Now we're talking. Are u gonna do some martial arts moves to match the hair?
Wed Mar 12 21:42:34 Me: Hmm now you make me want to keep it
Slightly seller on my part. Like motherfuckin slightly
Wed Mar 12 21:42:24 Her: How long since u had it short?
I think this comment here is very telling. It’s really subtle – but you can tell she’s into me. The use of ebonics means she’s trying to be black – even though I’m one of the whitest black dudes you’ll ever meet ;) Micro-analysis but I wanted to point that out.
Wed Mar 12 21:44:14 Me: like 9 months
Wed Mar 12 21:44:32 Her: Wow grew a lot!
Wed Mar 12 21:44:32 Her: Practice your moves ;)
Here she is starting to dictate the rhythm of the interaction.
Wed Mar 12 21:47:47 Me: Don't worry gurl my African ass was born ready ;)
Wed Mar 12 21:46:40 Her: Now that I believe
Wed Mar 12 21:49:30 Me: I once wrestled a lion with my bare hands just to feed my family (African accent)
Really good expression here – Just pure self-amusement here.
Wed Mar 12 21:48:48 Her: Hahahhaa
Wed Mar 12 21:57:55 Her: How was lion meat?
She games me here.
Wed Mar 12 22:03:37 Me: Apparently it was so good that the whole village would bow down to me and beg me to forgive them for their sins
Fucking terrible text. Why? Impression instead of Expression? I/we should always be expressing. This is pretty bad because here I sell myself and I’m trying to impose this frame of “I’m this bad-ass motherfucker”. No need for it. She already knows I’m bad ass. A better response here would have been – “come try it for yourself. I saved some in my fridge”. That way I
1. steer the convo in the right direction as WE ARE TRYING TO GET HER TO MEETUP
2. Continue to make the convo flirtatious and sexy and she has a ball of emotions to play with.
Wed Mar 12 22:04:42 Her: Damn
She can only say “damn” – I didn’t give her anything to play with. This is a result of me trying to overimpose my frame on her. I already started off the interaction with massive value, no need to set frames. My in-field game is tight damn.
Wed Mar 12 22:06:38 Me: Lol what are you up to this week
I try to figure out her schedule. If my shit was tighter – good game would call for just a little bit of humor, but admittedly I didn’t know what to do here AND I just wanted to push things forward. This girl was a 7/7.5 but a hotter girl wouldn’t be as forgiving.
Wed Mar 12 22:07:33 Her: Just landed in Cali for work. You?
Wed Mar 12 22:25:16 Me: Just been hella busy with work stuff
Wed Mar 12 22:25:27 Me: Are you there for a conference
Wed Mar 12 22:26:01 Her: No just mtgs - we have an office in XXX
Wed Mar 12 23:00:15 Her: What your work? Did u listen to blitz the ambassador yet?
Thu Mar 13 00:13:28 Me: Im a web developer
Thu Mar 13 00:14:34 Me: Thanks for reminding me - I'll check it out
Thu Mar 13 01:21:45 Her: Enjoy
General rapport bs.
Fri Mar 21 22:08:00 Her: @ XYZ if u wanna roll by for a drink
This is a pure result of me playing to my strengths. My phone game and in-field game is LIGHT YEARS ahead of my text game and given I’m quite the weird loner type, I truly enjoy talking to people when given the opportunity.
I called her the night before after not contacting her since that last text and we talked for 30 minutes and I was being self-amusing self – which is pretty entertaining for chicks of all backgrounds. I set something up for the following week but she initiated the response. Can’t complain. Back to the awkwardness of texting…
Fri Mar 21 22:23:41 Me: I'm just about to finish eating some lion meat ;)
Text-back humor
Fri Mar 21 22:24:07 Me: How long are you planning to be there
Fri Mar 21 22:35:02 Her: Haha. Dunno here for now
Fri Mar 21 22:41:06 Me: Cool. I'll get there around 11:15
Fri Mar 21 22:41:49 Me: Will you still be around the pub waiting for this geezer? (British accent)
A little bit of callback humor but I’d like your thoughts on this – is this try-hard at this point. I wanted to add to the vibe.
Fri Mar 21 22:54:56 Her: Haha here w/some dark & stormy
Lol I had to google dark & stormy. It’s a drink.
Fri Mar 21 22:56:30 Me: Ok on my way
Fri Mar 21 23:33:20 Her: Rollin out - catch u later
Luckily, I get this text as I’m getting out the subway station and I call her immediately. No response.
Fri Mar 21 23:35:51 Me: I'm here...
Yeah..
Fri Mar 21 23:35:28 Her: Sorry I missed ya
Fri Mar 21 23:36:29 Me: Where are you
Fri Mar 21 23:36:55 Her: Cabbin home
I call her again. She picks up. I command her to get out immediately and wait for me.
Fri Mar 21 23:38:59 Me: East 4th and avenue a ok?
Fri Mar 21 23:39:11 Me: Jumping in a cab right now
Fri Mar 21 23:39:29 Her: East 6 and A
Fri Mar 21 23:39:44 Her: U better warm me up
Fucking Katalyst- So pumped to see you back in it.
Have you been back in NY for a while now?
since February....Hmm I think i know who pottedflowers is....
You know it baby-boo.
Last couple times I was in NY I was going out with Dan and we were talkin bout your ass.
Pottedflowers left a comment on the thread for Manwhore’s upcoming text game ebook that left me inspired. Text game has been that elephant in the room I’ve avoided. Mann I need to like create a Flickr of some of the girls or temporarily add pics of girls I’ve lost out on that were SOLID sets. I cry.
I’d really like feedback on this one mann. This convo is the equivalent of taking 3 free throws at the line and missing all three. Ughhh
Fri Mar 7 20:42:16 me: Hmmm talk about fate
Fri Mar 7 20:42:58 me: I saw this as I got off the subway
(send a pic of where she works – some weird matchmaking shit)
Just a nice feeler text, to cement the vibe we had and keep the texting hot
Fri Mar 7 21:15:48 Her: Haha I'm haunting you!
Mon Mar 10 15:29:04 me: Hey gurll
Mon Mar 10 15:29:18 me: How was your weekend
Mon Mar 10 15:37:36 Her: Oh haaaay weekend was just lovely how was yours?
I do the “ebonics ratchet girl thing” just as a way to keep things silly and light while building gay ass rapport. She plays along and is interested.
Mon Mar 10 15:44:46 me: shit was tite as hell nahh mean ;)
Mon Mar 10 15:45:33 me: Lol it was low key - did a bunch of shit and last night I went to my homies bday dinner
Mon Mar 10 15:46:08 Her: Ooooh how wonderful what was for dinner?
Mon Mar 10 17:49:35 me: Shit people at my job be bugginnn
Mon Mar 10 17:49:59 me: We had Greek food at this place called Stamatis
Mon Mar 10 17:50:38 me: Usually I fuckin hate the pretentiousness of dinner parties but this one was hilarious
Mon Mar 10 17:50:57 me: My buddy's mom was wastedddd
Mon Mar 10 17:55:52 Her: That's fantastic did she say some regretful things?
She’s still very eager to please me and build rapport.
Mon Mar 10 17:59:33 me: Yeah...a lot of awkward moments
Mon Mar 10 18:00:32 Her: Sounds like a perfect birthday meal! Awkwardness really helps with digestion
Mon Mar 10 18:11:18 me: Lol yea...what's your schedule look like this week
Thoughts – is this left field. I kinda just wanted to cut the shit and meet up with her. Am I lacking flow?
Mon Mar 10 18:13:16 Her: My calendar looks like a plague out raw this week :( matchmaker can't catch a break. Next week should be better if you can wait a bit
Hmm is it just me or is the subtext of this text “Yeah you are the seller now and I’m the buyer. So if you can wait like a dog – text me back”
Mon Mar 10 18:24:30 me: No worries shit happens ;)
Tue Mar 18 16:24:38 me: Some nerdy dude was walking around with his kid and my co-worker goes "You've actually had sex????"
This is my go to re-engagement text at the moment.
Tue Mar 18 16:30:56 Her: Haha! Is that a real story?
Tue Mar 18 16:40:29 me: Lol real life shit - word to your mother gurll
I think she’s getting a gamey vibe from me – but this text right here is UNNECESSARY QUALIFICATION. I could have just said “That’s what happens when you work w/nerds ;) Brevity is king.
Tue Mar 18 16:40:52 me: That's what happens when you work w/nerds ;)
Tue Mar 18 19:15:01 Her: I love me some nerds
Lol I stopped texting after this because I’m pretty sure I didn’t know where to go with this.
Thu Mar 20 14:54:37 me: What's up
To quote Manwhore - this is actually historically a bad text and damn right lazy. It’s value takerish, and it’s basically like “hey! Balls in your court!!”. These girls need to experience you
Thu Mar 20 15:01:15 Her: Not too much playing hookie
Thu Mar 20 15:01:20 Her: You?
Thu Mar 20 15:06:13 me: I'm just chilling - I'm stuffed to the brim
Thu Mar 20 15:06:32 me: Why are you playing hooky
Thu Mar 20 15:09:52 Her: I had a cold yesterday and my boss forced me to stay home
Thu Mar 20 15:09:52 Her: Are you stuffed from lunch time or metaphorically work stuffed?
Thu Mar 20 15:17:16 me: Both...I just had this bomb ass burrito. Sooo good. I start getting all euphoric and shit ;)
A little better. Add some value to the convo allow her to experience you
Thu Mar 20 15:17:36 Her: Burritos are like that
Thu Mar 20 19:22:00 Her: I'm at a museum I missed your call :(
Being the lazy guy I am, I call her out the blue as I know this is a more potent way of allowing her to experience me
Thu Mar 20 19:23:17 me: You really are playing hooky ;)
Thu Mar 20 20:32:48 Her: You know it! On my way for a drink w a friend now
Thu Mar 20 20:34:34 me: Cool. When are we grabbing drinks
Idk – I’d like to figure out a better way to ask her. It’s a bit dry and not fun. Maybe adding gurl at the end makes it a little bit more fun
Thu Mar 20 20:40:32 Her: Monday night?
Thu Mar 20 20:42:37 me: Nah Monday no workyy
Thu Mar 20 20:42:48 me: What are you doing tomorrow night
Thu Mar 20 20:49:04 Her: Got a friend staying at my place all weekend. Tuesday?
Ok so she’s still invested and clearly wants to meet. I must learn to embrace the flaws in my text game and just continue to push for the meetup.
Thu Mar 20 20:55:12 me: Yea lets hang out then
Thu Mar 20 20:57:36 Her: Cool Tuesday it is.
Mon Mar 24 15:09:52 Her: Haaaay Kobe how are you today?
Ok so she reinitiates and she continues to play with the frame of “ratchet ebonics girl”. Cool she’s invested
Mon Mar 24 16:02:59 me: Sup babygurl just wrapping things up know what I'm sayin
Mon Mar 24 16:03:11 me: How was your weekend
Mon Mar 24 16:11:44 Her: Not toooo shabby how was yours?
Mon Mar 24 16:22:02 me: Nothin too crazy, just kept shit low-key
Mon Mar 24 16:22:24 Her: Well that's good you have to have quiet time sometimes
Mon Mar 24 16:26:49 me: Yeah
Mon Mar 24 16:27:54 me: what time do you want to meet up tomorrow evening
Ok enough bs rapport I ask for a meetup.
Come think of it. This is a poor text. Fuck her agenda. Fuck being a polite indecisive faggot. I should just demand “Meet me here at 8pm” That’s the proper way to convey value. Her duty in life is to please you.
Mon Mar 24 17:09:05 Her: Wellll I get out of work in Greenpoint at 6 wana meet somewhere in Greenpoint at 6:30?
Mon Mar 24 17:43:00 me: I forgot there's a nerdy tech talk at my job after work that runs till 8
I don’t want to meet a girl that early. Also there is no reason for me to justify why we should meet up later. If I want to meet up later at a certain time. I want to meet up later at a certain time. My show!
Mon Mar 24 17:43:36 me: Lets meet up off the XYZ train in ABC around 8:30
Once again really subtle shit. No Let’s – Just straight up demanding. Meet me. Also the reason why this set end up going cold is that I was so gangster in person, so for me to be all polite and shit is really incongruent. I met her on the subway, and was just the PERFECT asshole, so for me to be all polite and shit is super incongruent
Mon Mar 24 18:30:24 Her: I don't think I'm up for that much travel this week maybe it's not meant to be
Ahh, really telling statement here.
Mon Mar 24 19:19:15 me: Maybe it isn't ;)
Wondering whether I could have played with the tension here?
Mon Mar 24 19:21:14 me: we can meet up in Greenpoint around 8, I just need to be on my nerd shit
Once again – I need to demand when to meet up, not “we can meet up”…it’s more like “Meet me here at X”. I have the value and I failed to read that.
Mon Mar 24 19:21:27 me: Beforehand
Mon Mar 24 22:20:36 Her: Honestly I think it's just that I've been dating too much lately and I'm feeling a little on the bitter/exhausted side sooo unfortunately I don't think I would be a very good date right now. Sorry if that sounds crazy
Code speak for : Sorry faggot, you don’t have enough value – need to go find and fuck another alpha dude!
This is a text exchange from awhile ago. Got to get some sleep but I’m committed to posting and analyzing a text convo everyday for about 30 mins. I have to take massive action and unwire a lot of fucked up shit in my head, but I have the belief that I will get good because I believe so.
I met this girl in the subway, nice Indian-looking girl from Singapore that lives closes to me and is in college. Seemed a bit conservative but whatever
Wed Feb 26 21:33:44 2014 me: Fuck college! They lie to you about the real world
Wed Feb 26 21:33:53 2014 me: The homework never stops ;(
Just offering value and also trying to create a conversational open loop?
Thu Feb 27 15:00:39 2014 Her: You are so correct
Thu Feb 27 16:04:03 2014 me: I just read that in your faux British accent ;)
Thu Feb 27 16:05:01 2014 me: What are you up to right now
A slight push to create some value, and build some rapport
Thu Feb 27 16:05:43 2014 Her: Haha shut up
Thu Feb 27 16:06:22 2014 Her: I've been resting in bed all day-- feeling less than a 100
Thu Feb 27 16:09:53 2014 me: aww you miss me already?
Thu Feb 27 16:10:14 2014 me: I'm sorry I have to work ;)
I feel like this is potentially bad. Idk? If you notice – I’m trying to overreach for a frame that in retrospect is nonsensical and I think I try to take things sexual too quickly. Which is why she says "weirdo" - because it's fuckin weird.
Thu Feb 27 16:11:28 2014 Her: Weirdo
Thu Feb 27 16:13:44 2014 me: You are so correct
Thu Feb 27 16:14:00 2014 me: I forgot you weren't American
This last line “I forgot you weren’t American” – was an attempt to do a push and actuality probably should have been left out, but in that situation I think I would have been better off changing the topic. I’m trying to think of something I could have said after “You are so correct”. Maybe switch the topic.
I think a good response would have been “you are so correct” and then exaggerating her response by going “Is it weird that I touch myself ALL the time in bed?”. Hmm maybe a bit overdone, but given how I run game in person, I think this is a good way to pass her stupid version of a shit test
Mon Mar 3 20:44:32 2014 Her: I heard your voicemail message and I think that's the first one I actually really listened to. You're really funny, but I also have to say that I am already seeing someone.
I give really good voicemail. Manwhore showed me how ;)
Mon Mar 3 20:53:45 2014 me: Ahh that makes sense!!
Mon Mar 3 20:54:09 2014 me: I kinda thought you overreacted to my miss me already text
I’m just honest and speaking authentically. I think at this point I kinda wrote her off and realized I’m the buyer.
Mon Mar 3 20:53:04 2014 Her: I did not that's exactly how I am haha
Mon Mar 3 20:55:06 2014 me: What's that? Conservative?
Mon Mar 3 20:55:12 2014 Her: More like funny
Mon Mar 3 20:55:12 2014 Her: I thought I was
Mon Mar 3 20:57:00 2014 me: womp womppp ;)
Push her away
Mon Mar 3 20:57:14 2014 me: Anyways I'm actually glad you're honest. I'm currently fucked up because I met this lovely girl who has a bf and now it's complicated
Mon Mar 3 20:58:07 2014 me: I told her about you and she said she felt jealous and now I'm just confused
Mon Mar 3 20:58:43 2014 me: Sometimes I wonder why God made women so lovely and damn complicated ;)
Basically I’m honest as hell when I talk about my cherish and I just swat her “I’m taken bullshit” away. All of the above is true and potentially it could be seen as qualifying, but it’s my way of saying “you don’t mean shit to me!”
Mon Mar 3 21:09:59 2014 Her: Hahaha look at you getting at the ladies! Complicated women are attractive like sad puppies you just want to save
Damn when I go thru my WhatsApp and see the profile pics of some these girls…It’s a shitty feeling. Just of what if. But hey at the end of the day – I’m the one to blame I haven’t applied myself like I should but fuck it – text game and getting down BR/loud vocal tonality are the two goals I plan to accomplish this year.
I met her on the subway in the morning, as she was putting her necklace on and she was super into me. Beautiful Aussie girl as well. Looking at her WhatsApp photo and using tears as lubricant for masturbation.
Thu Apr 3 13:59:27 2014 me: Ah the joys of being a black man. No farmers tan for me ;)
Thu Apr 3 14:19:39 2014 Her: Katalyst from the train this morning?
Thu Apr 3 14:26:55 2014 me: Yea..it's Katalyst
Thu Apr 3 14:28:14 2014 me: You ever finish putting your outfit together?
Thu Apr 3 14:33:28 2014 Her: Haha that I did! Hows your day been?
Thu Apr 3 14:40:19 2014 me: Just trying to finish up this feature I've been working on for the past 2 weeks
Thu Apr 3 14:40:40 2014 me: Kinda hard to do right now..burritos give my brain the dumb
Thu Apr 3 14:41:41 2014 me: How about you
There’s actually not much to go on here, and I actually don’t know what I did wrong here – but I feel like I could have:
1. “Just trying to finish up this feature” – it’s coming from a bit of a qualifying frame and I must remember - at the end of the day, girls don’t give a shit. My cherish is a Fulbright scholar and even she doesn’t really give a shit about the subtleties of my job. Super logical as well.
2. The three rapid fire texts might come across too needy. I WANTED something from her. Womp womp.
I end up leaving a voicemail and sending a silly text afterwards, but yeah maybe I’ll keep texting this one and offering value. I’d like to make that paradigm shift of just offering value and not wanting anything in return = sort of like a Twitter feed, and I think I should just start being unfiltered when I text girls who aren’t responding. Text them every 3 or so days, and play to win!
hm
Damn when I go thru my WhatsApp and see the profile pics of some these girls…It’s a shitty feeling. Just of what if. But hey at the end of the day – I’m the one to blame I haven’t applied myself like I should but fuck it – text game and getting down BR/loud vocal tonality are the two goals I plan to accomplish this year.
I met her on the subway in the morning, as she was putting her necklace on and she was super into me. Beautiful Aussie girl as well. Looking at her WhatsApp photo and using tears as lubricant for masturbation.
Thu Apr 3 13:59:27 2014 me: Ah the joys of being a black man. No farmers tan for me ;)
Thu Apr 3 14:19:39 2014 Her: Katalyst from the train this morning?
Thu Apr 3 14:26:55 2014 me: Yea..it's Katalyst
Thu Apr 3 14:28:14 2014 me: You ever finish putting your outfit together?
Thu Apr 3 14:33:28 2014 Her: Haha that I did! Hows your day been?
Thu Apr 3 14:40:19 2014 me: Just trying to finish up this feature I've been working on for the past 2 weeks
Thu Apr 3 14:40:40 2014 me: Kinda hard to do right now..burritos give my brain the dumb
Thu Apr 3 14:41:41 2014 me: How about you
There’s actually not much to go on here, and I actually don’t know what I did wrong here – but I could have
1. “Just trying to finish up this feature” – it’s coming from a bit of a qualifying frame and I must remember - at the end of the day, girls don’t give a shit. My cherish is a Fulbright scholar and even she doesn’t really give a shit about the subtleties of my job. Super logical as well.
2. The three rapid fire texts might come across too needy. I WANTED something from her. Womp womp.
I end up leaving a voicemail and sending a silly text afterwards, but yeah maybe I’ll keep texting this one and offering value. I’d like to make that paradigm shift of just offering value and not wanting anything in return = sort of like a Twitter feed, and I think I should just start being unfiltered when I text girls who aren’t responding. Text them every 3 or so days, and play to win!
Damn I can't believe I'm just seeing this. A lot of your text exchanges are blaringly funny! It's crazy how you could add so much value and still lose the girl because it wasn't framed the right way. Ah the subleties of texting
Your texts provide a LOT more postiive emotions to these girls than whatever chode she's seeing ever will, but fuck it keep expanding.
Wish you kept posting on this man, you've inspiring me to create my own version