HERE is the definitive guide for how to sext for guys and girls.
This is 12 years of naughty writing composition based on years of dating and seducing the fairer sex; all consolidated into one source. I wrote this because Cosmopolitan magazine tried to write an article on it and it was so horrible I almost cried!
Disclaimer: Sexting must be done properly, especially with people you have never sexted before or people you don’t already have a physical relationship with. And for guys who are trying to learn this as a way to seduce girls for the first time.. YES, it can be done..! However, sexting is not a replacement for proper game, and in the hands of a weak practitioner, an impatient one, and most importantly an inexperienced one, it will do you more harm than good! So if you’re a newb start off with women you’ve already slept with, or women that have NO connection to your social circle, work, or family! This stuff is NOT for women you work with or see everyday at school!
For the Guys:
(For girls read/scroll below!)
I. Proper Way of Sexting
Proper sexual texting means you correctly escalated from casual texting to sexy dialogue with a girl. Basically you have to prepare her for sexting with you, you can’t just start up the horny dialogue without warming her up. As they say, penetrate her mind before you penetrate her body.
Here’s the problem: guys are about the “action”. They want to thrust, and fuck, and ram and penetrate. Girls are different. They want to feel, and be caressed, and imagine being nibbled on, their scalp pulled, their hips tucked in against you. These are the things that get a woman ready to be penetrated. You must take care of this stage first. Only THEN can you tell a girl you want to fuck her hard till she can’t breathe and leave her a quivering little mass of jello 😉
What does this mean in application?? This means you must go from casual texting to “sensual” texting BEFORE hitting porno-style dialogue. It is crucial you hit this stage of sexting escalation…
I’d been doing this for years, but it was my buddy that made me aware of what I was doing. Until he brought up this initial “sensual” stage of sextual escalation, I hadn’t realized why sometimes my sexting was a massive success and then sometimes it sputtered out. By hitting the proper stages of escalation, you communicate to a girl you’re trustworthy and are experienced enough to handle business with her.
So.. first be sensual, when she responds to this and gets into it, THEN you can use stronger sexual language and more “action” type verbage of what you want to do to her. Learn to enjoy the process of written seduction. It is quite luscious to seduce a woman the way she wants to be seduced and to witness it unfold.
There are multiple ways of doing this and below I’ve put down a few examples that include: roleplays, descriptive touching/caressing, appeals to a girl’s nurturing side (while not looking like a weakling), taking control of her body, assigning her womanly chores such as making you a sandwich or being your nurse, or describing a previous encounter with her in a very descriptive fashion.
Create a scenario where you and her are together and it starts to get hot and heavy. This could be silly or it could be serious. E.g. you could say “Girl you’re acting suspicious! I’m going to have to arrest you and search you for contraband.” From here you go into…
Women love to be touched. This is why they are always asking for foreplay before getting fucked, it revs up their motor and gets them all warm and tingly.
(cont’d from example above) Slide my hands all over your body, make sure you’re not hiding anything. Tuck your lil hips in against me, so I feel you against me
Taking control of her body
Women love the feeling of losing control of themselves to a guy who they can trust to take control and will guide them in the direction of good emotions and experiences. (cont’d from example above) Pin your arms to your side so you can’t get away from me. Hold you against me as I feel your lil hips tucked against me.
As you can see I put these all together, but you can use just a couple of them at a time to really get a girl hot and bothered. I also introduced good context for setting up the sextual dialogue. I took her acting “funny” about something, and misinterpreted it playfully about her being suspicious and that i would now need to search her for contraband. Below you can see other examples I used to set up the dialogue,such as being injured after robbing a bank and needing her to be my nurse, or telling her to make me a sandwich (yes womanly duties DO make good text game lol)
A very important concept in sexting as well as in general in male/female dynamics is the ability to come off dominant and unquestioning of yourself while also being playful and sensitive to her and aware of her needs. This is NOT about being arrogant or egotistical, because these are both too self-engrossed and emotionally sensitive (e.g. manboyish). The correct vibe is one of you taking care of her while putting her through an amazing experience. Nothing here should trigger a girl’s “feminist” side, because it’s playful. Unless you’re dealing with a sensitive “feminazi” type, then I would tell you to RUN. These types are not worth your time at all. Find other girls.
This above is a perfect example of how to use a setup to initiate sexting. Below you can work on developing more..
Drills for Sexting
Develop your own sensual roleplays. Use an easy setup:
You can take anything she does whether recreationally or professionally and turn it into a role play that grows progressively more sensual and sexual. Let’s say she’s a nurse (I meet a LOT of nurses) you can go with the examples I used above or either of the sexting with nurses articles I put up.
Here you misinterpret her ‘artsy’ lifestyle as her being a stripper. Turn this into a sensual little stripper role play where you’re her new boss and she needs to audition.
If you find out she’s sporty you can create a coach/player role play, or a manager for a pro team she wants to get drafted to.
Ask her what kind of fine silverware she has. Tell her you’re going to come to her house and rob her “all night long”. And make her cook for you while you’re at it. (I pulled a stripper from her club the night I met her working with this role play, then had a threesome with her and another stripper about two weeks later)
Once you get things hot and heavy you can get into more porno-esque language:
Dominant Sensual & Explicit:
Boss Daddy Humor (arrogant but enjoys her. Unquestioning, blunt and unsensual. Boss/employee type joke rapport. This particular example I got from a porno I saw. There are TONS of good sexual one-liners in pornos, USE them, with a deadpan no nonsense style.
Reliving a shared sexual experience: (The following example is what I consider exquisite and sensuous sexting)
End Disclaimer for Guys:
Say you met a girl at the club, or you have classes with her at school and got her phone number. You began texting her or calling her, and things started off well, you guys were having a good conversation. So you suggested a time to meet up so you two could hang out and she was receptive to the idea.. and then you just randomly start sexting her! What happens here is by taking things sexual, you put a LOT of expectations on the girl. All of a sudden your casual little planned meet up is no longer so “casual”. Now the expectation is that it’s more like a consummation of your sextual conversation. And an hour before your date with her she gets cold feet because she’s just not in the same mood she was in earlier when she had that conversation with you and so she FLAKES!
The truth of the matter is that this is extremely common behavior for women when they’ve taken things too sexual too soon over text. Either she’s simply not in the mood anymore yet still feels the sexual expectations the preceding sext conversation put on her, or she actually regrets taking things so far (VERY common). Women’s sexuality has been so repressed and shamed throughout history that even a hint of judgment, whether imagined or not, can send them into hiding! Girls can be strong and independent, but at the slightest hint of potential social awkwardness they will gtfo. And in their minds it’s still your fault because “He just doesn’t understand me” or “He’s a pervert/creeper!” Plus she doesn’t want to feel slutty by meeting up with a guy she was naughty with over text, she’d rather just forget the whole thing happened.
The other reason sexting can potentially set you back with a girl you’ve not “hooked up” with yet, is that if you sext incorrectly, you’re basically demonstrating your lack of experience with chicks, OR, you’re demonstrating you’re a “player” only after one thing by going for the gold way too quickly.
Sexting properly shows a girl you know how to make her feel comfortable, understand her, and can get her in the mood before going for sexual intimacy.
For the Women:
First and foremost, make sure there’s mutual acknowledgement of your attraction for each other. If there is, sexting is great, if there isn’t, you’re at risk. A lot of women are natural sexters, it’s understanding when to do it that counts!
For a lot of young girls attempting to sext with younger guys they’re simply running the risk of having an immature guy judging her or finding it easier and “safer” to just get a kick out of showing her texts to his buddies and looking cool. It’s a typical response for a guy who’d rather not put his ego on the line and make an attempt at sexting back. Plus, 75% of men are completely clueless when it comes to this stuff, even AFTER hooking up with a girl! If a guy gets a sexy text he many times has NO idea how to respond. Don’t blame him it’s just not his style. Guys don’t read romance novels, and they don’t place a lot of importance on feelings or emotions or expressing themselves. So generally you won’t get any kind of worthwhile response anyways.
If you have hooked up with a guy but maybe haven’t had sex with yet and want to get things heated up, either because you’re just feeling horny, or you want to compel him to move his ass and bait him to meet up with you, sexting is great 🙂
Here’s a sexting example with a girl that I’d hooked up with before but hadn’t yet had sex with, but we definitely BOTH acknowledged we were into each other:
- If he IS someone you’re dating and you’ve gotten past all the initial dating nonsense 😉 then you’ve got free reign to talk about anything you want. Be descriptive, have fun, stay away from the hokey Cosmopolitan nonsense. Sexting is NOT politically correct and “polite”. It’s raw and unique and genuine.
- Make him feel powerful – This might sound strange but sometimes insinuating that his dick scares you and can hurt you will make him hot. Don’t judge him for it, it’s simply a remnant of his male reptilian brain ;). It makes him feel powerful to have emotional and physical control over you and this massively increases masculine ardor. “Baby don’t hurt me tonight ok? Sometimes you make me nervous ‘cuz you’re so mean to my little pussy!” Or if you want to be a little less explicit go with “Baby I want you to have your way with me tonight try to be gentle.”
- Make him feel appreciated – A nice “Baby please fuck me I need it” is GREAT and is an immediate home run. Any sort of “I love it when you [insert_physically_intimate_activity] to me. It makes me hot” is always effective.
- Don’t challenge him – Sexual intimacy should be a sanctuary and a playground, not a performance. Try not to imply he needs to make up for past sexual encounters or to be sure he “fucks you better/harder/whatever tonight”. He will naturally resent it and it can potentially cause ED. Be cognizant of little negative insinuations that can sneak into your texts and remove them.
- Don’t overdo the “Your dick is SO big” comments. We usually get sick of these after awhile. Give him a day and then remind him again ;). Use other descriptive phrases such as “Baby I love the way you feel inside me” or “Oh my gawd you fill me up!”.
- Don’t compare him to others. Even in a positive way. You might think you’re complimenting him but no guy wants to have any thoughts of your past lovers in his mind when he’s giving you the business.
- It’s usually a good idea to match his level of explicitness “I miss being inside you” is much different from “I miss being inside your wet vagina”. One you would pair with “Me too why aren’t you inside me now?” and the other would warrant a “I know baby I’m wet/my pussy’s wet just thinking about it. I hope it happens again soon ;)”
- Know your timeline! – If you’re going to see him later that day then start adding a time reference to get him psyched and feeling the anticipation. “I can’t wait to see you tonight. I’m undressing in front of you in my mind I hope you don’t mind I didn’t even ask first ;)” If you’re long-distance and you both have some time to devote to it then make it present tense and X-rated!
Here are tips for the ladies texting their partner, or at least someone they have hooked up with already, OR, maybe you just want to get down to business and have this guy come over IMMEDIATELY to fuck your brains out 😉
If you feels like being blunt and hitting him with a hot surprise you can start with a simple “Baby why aren’t you inside me right now.” OR, you can hint at “being in the mood” and start off with not so sexually explicit language like “Baby I’m kinda feeling kinky right now, shhh don’t tell anyone! What would you do about it if you were here right now ;)” The second part of that sentence is very important as it forces him to participate. If you want to start even less implicitly, you have to make subtler hints, the only problem though is sexual subtlety usually goes right over a guy’s head.
Here are some good safe tips for the ladies that are sexting guys they haven’t hooked up with yet:
- Send him PICS.. these are the way into a man’s head for sure. Ask him what he thinks of your new dress or skirt and send a pic.
- Extra-Special: Find out something he’s good at, that’s casual and fun, and say you want him to teach you. If he’s good at pool that’s perfect. Beer pong, miniature golf, darts, are also good. You can say things like “I’ll be a good little student. I really want to earn an A!” This will get him amped up to no end. (I’ve actually done the reverse of this with girls and gotten laid several times this way 😉 ) You can also follow up with something like “If I get a bad grade are you going to spank me?” HOWEVER, what’s important here is the setup.. you want this to seem innocent at first. Text him and tell him you heard he was good at [insert_whatever_activity] here, and tell him you’ve always wanted to learn and that you would be really grateful if he showed you. Even something like pool, where you think he might have a clue what you’re doing.. he won’t! This is a safe play. And then as he responds and you and him go back and forth you can ramp it up or just go for the actual meetup with him or both 😉
- During a normal conversation, insinuate playfully that he’s talking about sex, his dick, or something naughty. If he tries to deny it, send “Sure whatever. I wasn’t judging ;)”. So even though he wasn’t ready to return the favor, you still ramped up his heart rate for a bit ;), plus you can be SURE you will not be in the friendzone anytime soon!
- Bring up experiences you HAVE had with him, whether sexual or not, and let him know you had a lot of fun and should hang out again as fast as possible. This will give him the boost he needs to take things farther. Lots of guys are just looking for any sign from a girl.
- Don’t try to make him jealous or send him a pic of you with another guy(s). Sure this will work on some guys, but those are usually the wrong guys. A relationship with a guy founded on jealousy is NOT healthy. If you think you are slick enough to make it work, make sure that you also craft something more heartfelt and uplifting and cut ties with that dynamic as soon as possible. A guy you feel you can only keep around if you toy with him like this isn’t worth your time in the end. Those are the whiners looking to gain some kind of validation by competing with other guys for your attention. A lot of genuine guys look at that sort of thing and immediately the experience is cheapened for them. Male competition generally brings out the absolute WORST in men and most mature, solid men make the decision they simply don’t have the time for it and refuse to entertain those sorts of emotional experiences with a woman.
- If you’re not familiar with sending pics, don’t send something you’re not comfortable with. If a guy hasn’t expressed interest in you, complimented you, or otherwise been supportive in some way do NOT send him nude pics. It will many times not work out well, and at the worst your pics might get passed around. There are a lot of men especially young guys that like the validation of having received nudes just so they can show them off to their friends. On Facebook.
Whatever you decide to do however, make sure to have fun! And as always, if you have any questions, send me an email. Manwhore at manwhore.org