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Anonymous
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Joined: 01/18/2012
I think after her P.S. my
I think after her P.S. my butt does not look like a pumpkin I would have switched gears and turned it more intimate and also seeded at a meetup. To discuss whether her bottom looks like a pumpkin or not. You stayed "Epic text man" lol
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Steve (not verified)
Epic text man survives?
She got back to me with this a few minutes ago.

Ciabatta bread tastes best with grilled chilled :P
You tell those zombies to stay away!

So...switch gears and go for the meetup? How about

"I gave them a firm warning and worked them down to drinks/brains to settle this tomorrow night. Wanna join?"
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Joined: 04/05/2012
At no point did you really
At no point did you really invite her over. It sounded more like you were joking than inviting her over. Probably because you didnt say when.
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Steve (not verified)
Going to send one of these tommorrow morning
I gave them a firm warning and worked them down to drinks/brains to settle this tonight. Wanna join?

Or

I gave them a firm warning and they just wouldn't believe me about the shape of your butt. I think we need to figure this out today over drinks. I'll bring the the pumpkin you bring your bottom. ;p

First ones silly. Second one is also silly but involves her butt. I like her butt so I'm leaning toward the latter. Thoughts?
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Joined: 01/17/2012
This is God. I agree with
This is God.

I agree with your choice of the 2nd one.
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Steve (not verified)
Repeat offender - yay!
Sup guys. Back from living the dream in New york. I've got some shit to write up but here's something for you guys to enjoy in the meantime. This is the rest of the looooong text game from startup to the final meet. I think I held the text game pretty strong here. It's pretty long because I wanted to keep solid momentum going for around 2 weeks. Feel free to give feedback.

I gave them a firm warning and they wouldn't believe me about the shape of your butt. I think we need to figure this out today over drinks.
I'll bring the pumpkin you bring your bottom ;p

Haha what time were you thinking?
Pick you up around 8 if that works <--I always try to make it a situation where I'm driving. It's just easier.
Any earlier? I can't drink Starbucks that late or I'll be up all night!
Lucky you're cute old lady! ;p 7 work?
Can you do tomorrow evening? Something came up with the family... I'm really sorry. Will not bail tomorrow I promise!
And I'll make you a deal!

I called her after this and found out her grandmother broke her hip. She was driving to the hospital. Told her I just finished shaving my balls and doing my toenails lol. Talked about random hilarious shit for 5 minutes and then got her to promise to make me banana bread to make it up to me. I also turned her down for the next day as it's a beast night.

Finally I'm back home, my grandmas all the way up in Bellville it's like 3 hours away! She's supposed to get transferred to Hamilton later this week <--next day
So where you going to New York city? Have you ever been?
Glad she's ok. Nope, plan to make my dreams in that concrete jungle this weekend. <--Wanted to ditch her potential bad emotions relating to her grandmother but still acknowledge it.
You're going to have an amazing time! You have to promise to go to my favorite store there :p
It's on 5th ave, right next to Trump Tower, it's Louis Vuitton! Mmm love it! And make sure you see all the floors, on and you need to look at the watches gorgeous ;)
Aww I think you're gorgeous too. Thanks for the reminder! I need a Louis Vuitton bag to dress up as a chav for Halloween
What's your favorite Halloween costume?
My favorite Halloween costume...well I dressed up as little red riding hood this past year, that was fun! I just wore a red cape with red lingerie underneath haha
I think to complete your 'chav' costume you need to wear something Burberry
lmao perfect. Mmm love lingerie. We can dress up and go bobbing for apples when I get back. Probably more but we'll discuss later.
I've never been bobbing for apples before!
Oh and you'll have to have a Starbucks in time square for me too! A tall, extra hot, non fat, four pump, tazo chai ;)
Sounds delicious! Only four pumps though? That's no fun, that's just ri-dick-ulous
Anyways I'm going to go read until I pass out


What book are you reading these days? <--Next day
Just finished the evolutionary diet, next will be emotional intelligence.
What's your favorite type of book? <--Trying to continuously get her preferences to get her to invest more. Even though she's pretty damn invested at this point.
I've read emotion intelligence! ;p
The book I'm reading right now is a different kind of book than I usually read - "Damned Nations" by Samantha Nutt - she's a doctor who's one of the founders of War Child and she shares her experiences from around the world, it's a very heavy read, very hard for me living in Canada to read about all the rape and torture that the women in third world countries endure everyday of their lives.. <--Holy fuck need to switch this topic right now
Gives deep perspective. It's incredible how you can gain a piece of someone's life experience <-- acknowledge that she's doing something cool
Although if we were in a book I think it would have to be a romantic horror. You prefer zombies, molemen, or kangaroos <--Shift to something fun
Zombies!
Romantic horror it is lol
A short romantic horror by steve and cath aka pumpkinbottom
I come up behind you as you're making me lunch, feel your body fold into mine as I pull you in, bite softly into your neck as I slide my hands down your waste when suddenly out of the closet.. <--Manwhore if you read this WALL of text all the props in the world for this one!
My name starts with a K for the record :p
Out of the closet crawls a moaning zombie! Hungry for flesh, his face covered with rotten flesh and his jaw hanging half off!
I push you out of the way, grab my samari sword and swiftly slash off his head, it falls to the ground mouth still trying to bite! As it hits the ground I impale the head right between the eyes! Dead
I drop the sword on the ground and you put your arms around me. . . <--Awesome girl :D
You're head rests softly against my chest as the rain drums down outside. Abruptly..zombies..everywhere..cracking down the doors. I firmly grab your hips lifting, you feel a rush to your head as we frantically scramble to the attic. My hands push you up the ladder as you feel the cool breeze from the attic.
You grab me by the hand and guide me to the bed. The entrance thunders as I pull your luscious body into my chest. Your heart starts to pound as you feel your head tilt slight, I'm pulling your hair slowly, you hear my breath as I kiss your ear softly. The attic door slowly starts to crack...

perfect time to have to shut my phone off so I don't get raped by data in NYC. lol :( While I'm going she sends me 3 texts.

Tell me more ;) Keep kissing me...
So how wonderful is New York ?!
So how wonderful is New York ?!

I get back from having the time of my life in NYC and it's time to meet!

Hey goof I just took a bite out of the big apple. I bet my weekend can beat your weekend up
I worked and gardened all weekend...so I actually think my weekend kicks your weekends ass!
Let's get some apples from your garden and bop for apples tomorrow. If you win I'll kiss you on the cheek..
If I win, you bake me 2 banana breads.
haha apples aren't ready yet! <--Didn't ask directly enough so she probably didn't get I was asking her out
Kath, I though you had a green thumb? All I really wanted was off season fruits for my return. NYC was amazing, lights, people, and deli. Viva la nyc!
Apples grow on a tree in my backyard, this is Canada, I can't make off season fruits it's not warm enough :p
Greenhouse? How's your day going Lmao this morning my blender fell apart. Frothy lukewarm green vomit everywhere <--Green smoothie mmmM
No greenhouse for me. My days going pretty good, had to renew my drivers license, health card, passport this morning! Had lunch with a friend, just at home doing laundry now!
Look like a badass in my drivers license pic. Heading to my dads bday
P.s. Wash my green soaked clothes! :P
Oh! That's nice, happy bday to your dad! I have a class tonight :( 7-10! Calculus is fun lol

I feel like the text interaction is kind of slipping for some reason.

Ello pumpkinbutt, they've given me a new plant at work. I have dubbed him timmothy mcgreggor the third <--Next day
Come help me water him!
You just need to remember to water timmothy a bit every day, and make sure he gets some sun :P you'll do fine <-- Lame
How's your dads birthday go last night?
Was awesome. When you I get my banana bread woman! I'm hungry. <--time to cut the shit and get to the meetup
When do you want your banana bread?
Tonight or Thursday. Dress cute and bring some pens! We need to finish our story :P
I can do tonight, but I won't have banana bread by then lol. I can bring pens though!
err no banana bread? I don't know if I can trust you now, you make sandwiches right
I know how to make some sandwiches yes
Never tried your cooking but...sounds delicious! Can't wait. You live downtown right. I should be able to pick you up around 8:30 tonight
Where are we going?
Starbucks, boston pizza, or an awesome lil irish pub.
What's yer address
Starbucks
I've been doing math homework for a few hours now, so I might head to Starbucks now and continue studying there. You meet me there? <--Not exactly what I wanted but I'll take it on one condition
Err, it's break time missy! I'll meet ya there but don't bring your homework. What's the address?
Umm the Starbucks on Locke st.
Not sure of the exact address . .
K see ya soon Pumpkinbutt
Dress hot so we match

Met her and still dig this chick. Had a fun lil adventure exploring the city and did a bit of trespassing :D. Anyways, hope you got some value from it. Cheers boys!