Text conversation - So close but nope
Approached this girl on the street 2 nights ago, Chatted for 5mins and got her number. Shes a hot little 18yr old .
Any thoughts on this conversation?
ME: Hey bebe how was the rest of yer night? Fuck I love not working on a monday!
HER: Hey sorry just got your text and yeh my night went fine. Was so cold tho XD
ME: Yah it was fucking freezing. I need to buy some jumpers this week before i freeze to death. Whatve ya been up to today bebe?
HER: haha good idea! Just took they day off uni haha yourself?
ME: Sounds like someones still a bit hungover from the weekend lol. Im just down town getting some thai food, best shit everrr
HER: hahaha nah just had to catch up on a few things XD omfg I love thai food! Green and yellow curry is the best :)
ME: Naw bebe red curry and chicken cashew are the best! And ofcourse you like thai food ur asian lol
HER: hahaha I suppose thats true! What did you do later on that night at the pub?
ME: Just drank beer and did the robot what about you?
HER: Haha what?! Do you actually dance well? Or where you just mucking around? haha and I just went back to club x and club y
ME: Yah the clubs pay me to come in and do the robot on weekends lol. I went to club x for a bit, it was pretty sick actually
HER: WHAT? If you told me I would of left my friends and saw you dance! Are you on youtube??!
ME: haha beb Im just fucking with you, im an asshole. I can give a good lapdance tho lol
HER: LOL haha i actually believed you!
ME: Yah that was sweet of you bebe haha. Can you dance?
HER: Haha I did hip hop for a few years but i wouldnt consider myself great haha. I assume youve been giving lapdances your whole life?? ;)
ME: Giving and recieveing. My life is one big blur of lapdances lol. Did you get up and swing the pole in club x?
HER: hahaha youre so funny! Not that night but I have before, Im always wearing a skirt so i cant try new things on the pole
ME: Well no one wants to see you up there in jeans boo lol. That should be illegal!
HER: hahaha dont guys get kicked out if they try dancing on the pole? Ive seen it happen XD
ME: I hope they get kicked out and banned for life, Nobody wants to see that shit
HER: Says you the one giving lap dances ;) banned for life? Thats a little harsh! hahaha do you have facebook?
ME: I think its a little harsh to have some guy shaking his ass in my face lol. Ya trickassmark add away young lady
HER: Who says ill add you? ;)
ME: Well just creep away then
HER: Haha im kidding!
ME: Derr lol still not sure if ill accept you tho. You might be crazy :b
HER: Crazy?! Youre the one with the life full of blurred lap dances!! hahaha
ME: haha i call that adventurous
HER: I call it "not being able to reach the next step ;)"
ME: Yeah i know im a virgin
HER: Haha what?! you a virgin? Thats so hard to believe!
ME: Girls scare me
HER: haha you are so cute
ME: Haha theres asian writting on yer fb. What languages do you speak?
HER: japanese:) FB stalking me are you?
ME: yup lol. What are yer plans tonight missy?
HER: sleep haha you??
ME: i just drank a green smoothie and Im bouncing off the walls. You might have to come sedate me!
HER: Hahaha how does a green smoothie make you want to bounce off the walls?? Unless you put weed in it to make it turn gree...but weed doesnt do that!!!
ME: The secret ingrediant is kale, its a powerful green. What time are you getting here and bring something strong or ima get a noise complaint!
HER: Hahaha watch yourself buddy. Ive gotta be up early in the morning for uni :( You going out on sunday?
ME: Shit girl i dont know what im doing tomorrow god help me for sunday. But yeh its possible!
HER: Lol fuark that shit hit hard! Lol...Take care without me!! You have company??
ME: Naw i live by myself so just bouncing around solo tonight.
HER: I want to bounce too! haha that sounded so wrong. Where abouts do you live??
ME: (gives address)What time are you bouncing over?
HER: Gah thats kinda far, I live in xxxxx Ill come over some other night. just not tonight!
ME: Well if i get a noise complaint its 100percent ur fault. Its not that far btw
HER: How the hell does kale make you do that?
ME: Ill make you one and youll see. Im not responsible for yer actions afterwards tho!
HER: Isnt it that stuff fitness training people drink??
ME: Yeh probably. Its like spinach and when you drink it raw you get heaps of energy and turn into popeye!
HER: Wow really? I dont think ive ever tried it. Is it yummy?!
ME: Only cool people drink it so that doesnt suprise me :b Ya its delicious
HER: I know im not cool cause im amazing :) and your just cool x
ME: Oh lol. Btw I dont believe it
HER: You will one day :)
You could do some pic exchanging to keep things spicy. I've got one of a guy fighting off 15 cops while masturbating, and then one of Hitler with a hilarious quote. Over git a couple pics of my abs that work well lol. I would take things a bit more sexual with this girl, but hint at it from a very high value frame. And you're right, the problem is this girl isn't exactly sold yet. Green smoothies aren't exactly "sexy" if you know what I mean. Also it was a bit of a cheap shot to ask her when she was coming over when she only asked where you lived. A bit too eager. You got to qualify this girl better.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Hmm I dont have a smart phone so picture msgs are out. Would you have used the picture msg as a re engagement?
Ya when she asked me where I lived I knew my next text could be make or break. Would something like this be better?
HER: I want to bounce too! haha that sounded so wrong. Where abouts do you live??
ME: (gives address) You better not be a crazy person!
Also would you re engage this chick the very next day and try to get her over again?
No make up a false barrier..
"I don't know if I should tell you. You could be crazy. You might not even be wearing pants right now"
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
haha sweet
Heres some attempts at taking it sexual. Im pretty sure my phone fucked up and she didnt revcieve my last text. Doesnt make sense for her to not reply anyway. Im not sure if my attempts at sexuality where that great. She didnt really bite on them at all, Thoughts?
ME: Whats up pumpkin butt how was yer day?
HER: Im still at uni :( how was your kale trip last night?
ME: Kale trip was good but i got a noise complaint so youre in big trouble missy!
HER: What were you doing that was so noisy?! Baha. Im sowwwwwy
ME: I went skinny dipping in the pool at midnight
HER: So you got caught??? Lool
ME: Haha yah. yer lucky cause i woulda threw you in first if you were here and blamed it on you!
HER: Meanie :( I bet youve tried smoking kale!
ME: Nah dont want to od. I might start selling it on the streets tho. You can help me bag it up and weigh it as long as you dont try stealin my supply.
HER: Okay, I get half the profits made. I can deal around my area and you can around yours??? We can chop it up into smaller powder like form for people who like to sniff?? :)
ME: Yeah it will come in a variety of forms. Im not sure about this 50/50 split tho. Maybe if you pole dance for me on my lunchbreaks.
Heres some attempts at taking it sexual. Im pretty sure my phone fucked up and she didnt revcieve my last text. Doesnt make sense for her to not reply anyway. Im not sure if my attempts at sexuality where that great. She didnt really bite on them at all, Thoughts?
ME: Whats up pumpkin butt how was yer day?
HER: Im still at uni :( how was your kale trip last night?
ME: Kale trip was good but i got a noise complaint so youre in big trouble missy!
HER: What were you doing that was so noisy?! Baha. Im sowwwwwy
ME: I went skinny dipping in the pool at midnight
HER: So you got caught??? Lool
ME: Haha yah. yer lucky cause i woulda threw you in first if you were here and blamed it on you!
HER: Meanie :( I bet youve tried smoking kale!
ME: Nah dont want to od. I might start selling it on the streets tho. You can help me bag it up and weigh it as long as you dont try stealin my supply.
HER: Okay, I get half the profits made. I can deal around my area and you can around yours??? We can chop it up into smaller powder like form for people who like to sniff?? :)
ME: Yeah it will come in a variety of forms. Im not sure about this 50/50 split tho. Maybe if you pole dance for me on my lunchbreaks.
Tricky, where exactly did you take it sexual?
Told her I went skinny dipping and that she needs to pole dance for me if she wants a 50/50 split.
Maybe I was supposed to go much more overt I wasnt really sure. If she gave me something to work with I would have escalated it further. I just didnt see many good opportunities to make a bold sexual statement or suggestion in that short conversation.
I also suggested that If she was at my place I would have thrown her in the pool naked,
Okay so I planned to meet up with this girl at a nightclub on sunday But I get there kinda late and shes not at the club. Funny enough I randomly bump into her at 3am on my way home and quickly drag her back to my place. I dont waste much time getting into my bed with her to "watch a movie". I start escalating by grabbing her hand and challenging her to an armwrestle. I beat her easily and It quickly turns into an all out wrestling match on my bed. I end up on top of her with her hands pinned down beside her head, I go in for the makeout and its on. Basically everytime I start playing with her pussy too much she freaks out and gets off me. She even freaked when I pulled my dick out. I escalate from a bunch of different angles but nothings working and she eventually gets annoyed and says she has to go. As shes walking out of my room I can tell shes kinda pissed off so I ask her if everythings ok. She tells me "all you boys are the same. We dont flirt over text and I thought we were just going to be fun friends". I tell her that hooking up isnt a big deal to me and That I really like her and want to hookup with girls that I really like. She says "aw thanks" In a genuinely appreciative tone and then leaves, I was pretty shocked at her behaviour to say the least. I text her 5 mins later to make sure shes ok. TBH I wasnt even sure if she would ever text me again.
ME: Have you got a lift home?
HER: Im bussing it to spot x then taxi it home
ME: You can crash here and figure it out in the morning if you want
HER: Thanks for offering but its okay im already at the bus stop :) x
ME: okay no worries
NEXT DAY
I was texting like a bit of a chode here because of the drama at my place the previous night - thats a mental game mistake by me. I think i should always be edgy at the least.
ME: Hey beb how was your mission home you still alive?
HER: Yeh mission complete :)
ME: Ah good to hear beb! I slept till 1pm I think thats a record. Did you make uni today?
HER: Lol I just decided to not go...Ill watch the lectures online
ME: Ha dont lie youll never watch those lectures
HER: I will when i have a shitload of catching up to do
ME: Ha yeh I forget that you cant bludge in uni. I did fuck all to get my year 10cert lol
HER: Hahaha at least you know how to play poker. All i do is play roullette at the casino :/
ME: Haha yeh I think you might have a gambling problem! Ima have to teach you poker and put those math skills to use
HER: Yeah!!! :D
ME: I get all the money you make tho :P
HER No you get none of the money I win :)
ME: What are you doing this arv, come get a hot chocolate and we can figure out how we will split the winnings.
HER: Hot chocolate!! Yay your the only person who doesnt ask to get coffee cause i dont drink coffee
ME: heh im trying to not drink coffee in the afternoon
HER: Where do you get hot choc??
ME: surf street
16min ME: Starbucks to be exact lol. Lemme know if ya wanna go otherwise im going to play poker!
HER: Ive heard zarrafas is better :D Ill let you know son if im keen
ME: Zarrafas actually is pretty good , I get my coffee there.
Next day
Some interesting shit going on here imo. I wasnt totally confident dealing with the sexual texts she was throwing me but i think i did ok. I didnt want to push for a meet up because she just left me hanging yesterday. My plan is to hit her up tomorrow morning and organise a date.
ME: Whats up frecklefart did you wag uni again?
HER: LOL frecklefart?! Yeh i went to uni for only a couple of hourse because the flashing projector gave me a headache. I still have it :(
ME: Ive been listening to trap music all day so I have a headache too. My headaches cooler tho cuz im awesome
HER: Why were you listening to trap music all day? I dont like my headache :(
ME: prescribe yourself some panadol ms biomed. Traps the only music I listen to when I clean the house in my underwear
HER: Ill take the strongest panadol they have for this pain :D So what got you to move into surf city?
ME: Was getting bored in town x and I have a couple of good mates living up here. Town x smells like old people
ME: Strongest panadol is straight whiskey bebe lol
HER: hahah okay fair enough :) Ive been thinking of moving to surf city..it sounds fun
ME: Well if ya do you better not try looking through my windows when Im working out. Thats sexual harrasment!
HER: I do what I want, and I skinny dip in your pool whenever I want :)
5min HER: And you cant watch me skinny dip cause thats sexual harassment too! x
ME: Well you would be trespassing so it would be within my rights to make a citizens arrest and spank you for being so naughty
ME: I wouldnt bring you inside tho cuz you might try taking advantage of me
HER: Well you were the horny one on sunday not me! haha
ME: Ya but it was a full moon on sunday
HER: Oh whatevaaaa! I guess id have to sleep outside then
ME: Naw i can control myself if you can. Im a virgin boy so hands off!
HER: Then you were so close to giving me your V's on sunday :) you wouldnt be able to handle me anyway x
ME: Maybe on a full moon I could (wasnt happy with this text so sent another one)
17mins ME: But ya most likely Id just jizz in my pants
HER: You'd jizz before its in
HER: Haha your not actually a virgin are you?
ME: Im a catholic priest Lol nah im just teasing (Dont like the 2nd part? Should have just said the first bit?)
HER: haha no your a cute little virgin :)
ME: Yeh well I just dont want to catch girls germs. Its very contagious ya know
HER: Sure sure ;) diddnt seem like it hahaha
Is it fine for me to end the conversation here?