Help, how to re engage and attract the girl that has the game advantage
So, a little back story, I had broken up with my girlfriend that day and decided to go to a friends party to get my mind off of things. I was feeling pretty ballsy add with a few drinks I was as confident and care free as I could be. I met a girl while I was there and we hit it off pretty well, we exchanged numbers and some good conversation and she left. I texted her the next day (just a quick (hey last night was fun we should do it again sometime kinda text) and didn’t get a response, oh well, no big deal. I ended up getting back with this ex girlfriend the next day (we where very on and off for 8 months and I wasn’t happy in the relationship) and that lasted all until about 5 days later and we broke up again. And we’ll what do you know this girl came into the picture at the perfect time. She texted me back and we started talking. And later that night we hooked up. ended up using her to keep me from going back to my ex, and in turn my emotions got the best of me I caught feelings very quickly and I looked at her like a real prospect for another relationship. And I didn’t do a very good job at hiding it I don’t think.
We talked pretty regularly for the next 2 weeks after that and hooked up a few more times, but here’s where I think I fucked up. As the relationship progressed I told her that I liked her and she told me that she liked me, asked me what my intentions where, am I just a rebound etc. and I started to catch feelings, and well, opened up about them (oops). I mean who wouldn’t, heartbroken from an ex, she’s telling me she’s into me, perfect! What could go wrong right? Fatal mistake. I texted her every morning, never let her chase me, called her cutie, pretty much didn’t let her do any of the work (again, oops).
Normally I’m a pretty alpha dominant guy, funny, tall, slight dad bod action going on, mysterious, confident, real ladykiller. But coming out of a toxic relationship to me unconsciously I let my guard down and didn’t allow her to chase me.
anyways, she left for a trip where she wouldn’t have much service for a week and in the days prior to her leaving our talking dwindled into short brief conversations, but she still called me every night until 2 nights before that stopped too. I got one text message from her while she was on the trip and it was a drunken one or two word, I replied the morning after because I was asleep and got nothing, then I really fucked up and sent another text later that night (“hey hope your having fun, miss ya”) and haven’t gotten anything since. She left and the week has come and gone and I still haven’t received a text.
She got back yesterday and I don’t know how long I should wait to re engage or if I should wait for her to come to me or even how to re engage if I should do that at some point. And more importantly tips on keeping her engaged and hiding those feelings until we’re both ready to make a step forward. Being heart broken for a week (over her and the breakup) and anylizing the situation I can see what I did wrong but how do I fix it and take back my control of the game.
I'm no expert on this stuff yet, so will let other more advanced guys give you specific tips.
My advice would be to read up on Eckhart Tolle and try to disengage from all these thoughts you are constantly having. I know because I am in a similar place right now. Again, I am not "good" at this yet but it's the direction I'm taking.
I would also read up on attachment type here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory. It is very possible that your past relationships all follow a similar pattern and becoming aware of this is important.
From what I read I doubt you will have a relationship with this girl, and even if you could it might be better not to. Instead of focusing on that, focus on yourself and how you can change your beliefs, habits and behaviour.
First off, your looks don't matter. Mentioning that your tall but have a slight dad bod isn't anything really. I'd get that out of your head if you think its even relevant. You can do great things looking like a washed up George Clooney. I do it all the time :) lol
Second, you're needy as hell dude. Nothing mysterious, confident or lady killish about that. Sounds like you're using this chick to rebound yourself off of her but didn't really do yourself any favor in the long run because now you're using all those emotions from one girl to latch on to another. That's textbook what chicks do after a break up to wean themselves off their previous man. I get that you're a bit unconscious and vulnerable right now but get a grip.
Thirdly, this girl doesn't owe you anything. You're not dating or lotched at the hip and even if you were that still doesn't mean she owes you responses. The real mistake is that you confessed your love for her after a few weeks of hooking up with her. And now you're gung-ho about her. She should be another girl to you, nothing more. That's what you are to her. Yea she likes you, but chicks like a bunch of us at once, that doesn't mean much beyond that. You're not going to hide your feelings for her and conive your way back into this. You can't use techniques to miraculously change this around, you yourself have to learn, grown and change.
Lastly, all that being said, drop this girl or atleast stop texting her and let her hit you up and strictly fuck her and continue to fuck other girls and game other women. You've exposed your hand too much. She knows you like her way more than you should and way more than she likes you. You're not going to get her like that. If you do decide to ignore all this and try to get her into a relationship that's just going to end up downward spiraling you to do this kind of weak ass shit again my guy. It won't be a healthy sick ass relationship.
Take a step back and truly realize why you're doing this. How can you fall for someone after knowing them for a few weeks? Did you forget about your previous girlfriend? Are you aware that she's just a rebound and you're clouding your judgement? I know some of my guy friends who hop from chick to chick cause they just can't be alone or not in a relationship or fucking someone without having feelings involved. Huge mama's boy syndrome and they're always hopping in and out of toxic relationships, chasing women, manipulating them into being their mommies. Not saying this is you but .. is it?
Honestly, I’ve never been one to jump from girl to girl and this is completely not me and I’ve left her alone trying to figure my shit out. I’m normally the guy to fuck around and never have feelings and it usually takes an act of Congress for a girl to lock me down, I don’t know what happened this time
So how is this relationship supposed to end up being better than the last one? Which lasted eight MORE unhappy months? C'mon dude this is dysfunctional. Or maybe not dysfunctional, but mediocre as fuck.
I mean with your top notch "game strategy" of "making a girl chase" and your dad bod I should just be able to throw you some memes and have you back on with this girl, yeah?
No your right your right, just trying to get back on the ball. Put my game face on and stop being a little bitch
Texting can be a pretty straightforward process. I can teach guys how to be engaging and creative over text. It's a relatively narrow medium of communication, so though most guys get it wrong as fuck starting out, once you know how things work it can be pretty easy to keep women engaged without inadvertently sabotaging things all the time. Then comes actually crafting meetups, which I'd consider to be the cornerstone "technology" of text game so to speak. That you can start getting proficient within a pretty short period of time but yes it can be a bit of a mind-bender for some dudes to get used to at first. But it teaches you a lot about women, and a lot even about maintaining things (e.g. relationships) with women.
Now this all mostly stems from you having a relatively positive situation going with a woman. Not to say I haven't recovered in some spectacuarly shitty situations, for myself as well as friends and students.. but typically speaking if you goof it up pretty soon into the texting convo a lot of women probably will just shine you on. Just 'cuz honestly they want a guy with more experience than that. Now is this one of those situations where it seems like it takes experience to get experience? Yes. Does this feel like a job interview? Yeah. She's got a position to fill, and you're looking to fill that slot as soon as possible. Get it? This is not just any job interview this is The job interview.
So yeah. Know the rules, or at least know enough to not simply get disqualified for bullshit reasons. Even just remembering what I do offhand of your OP I can tell you quite easily you could have just sent her funny shit you saw on the internet (memes) instead of waiting too long till you got fucking needy and sent her bullshit. Derp. Don't be afraid to fill the space, dude. I mean you should be sending her "cute shit" even if you're not trying to wife her up, you should certainly be sending her stuff you find funny on the interwebs. Right? Doesn't that sound pretty easy to you?
All this time the issue has really been one of you simply not holding your full deck of playing cards. You got a quarter deck, bruh. Or less.
But all this being said it sounds like you got bigger issues. Not to disparage you, most guys have issues like this, but yeah if you were in a relationship for eight months you didn't actually like.. with apparently zero end goal in sight, then really you're dealing with simple scarcity issues and this particular girl is just another example of you being a needy, semi-shithead.
Learning to text was incredible for my game and taught me a lot about seducing wimenzz.
I credit a lot of my ability now to the nuance of it and really studying the craft. That’s why I always tell peeps on here to read 19 Rules of Text Game. Its a lot more than just that.
And yes to the memes. If i need to keep something on the backburner I just send memes all the time back and forth till logistics and schedules are in-line. Its all about timing like MW said. You never know when an opening is available. Because lets be real, how many chicks are we trying to seduce that already have a fuckbuddy, or a bf, or a guy they just fucked yesterday, or have gotten out of a relationship or are on their period, or are moving or are getting a new job etc etc etc
you see what I’m saying? Look at all the reasonable excuses to dismiss your advances. Why make it easier for them? That’s why its called the art of seduction. Be calculated, direct, and know when to strike.