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Going on Dates VS. "Hooking Up," in the modern sex and dating landscape. Bringing her straight to your place?

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Joined: 06/30/2017

This is a topic I came across the other day while talking to some of my friends (3 girls). I'm very close with them. I was telling them about how I set up this date with a cute girl in my COM 101 class. She asked me if I was trying to make her my girlfriend. WTF? that came out of nowhere, I was shocked that she would immediatly assume that just becuase I was taking a girl on a date I was trying to make her my wife. Shit. This is how the rest of the dialogue played out (roughly of course). 

Her: Yeah, if you invite a girl out on a date instead of inviting her to "Hook up," you are being an asshole because you are leading her on and telling her that you want to "date" her, instead of just have sex with her.

Me: Fuck no, I take girls on dates to fuck them, its a first date, Geezus

Her: Well can't you just get her number and then invite her right over to hook up, if sex is all you want?

Me: That would be treating her like a slut, fuck that, also, dates are amazing and such a fun time. 

Blah blah blah. 

Anyway, She brought up an interesting point. I don't agree that dates are solely for making her a girlfriend, thats just utter bullshit, but there is some merit in learning how to just "hook up" with a girl, without having to go through courting of any sort. I haven't learned yet how to finesse a girl to come to my place for the first date, but as you can imagine, this is the ultimate date, for obvious reasons. 

I feel as though the reason she was making this point is because, (especially in college) the hookup culture is so seperate from the dating culture, that there is this weird expectation attached to taking girls out. Like you are expected to want more than just a fun time and hot sex with a hot girl.

I know this is total bullshit, as I've pulled girls from first dates before, but why is this social expectation in place? I'd love to know what you guys think and also would love some advice on how to just "hook up" without going on dates (as my bullshiting friend told me), It would save me oodles of time ;)

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
HAHA! totally have had

HAHA! totally have had similar talks with chick friends.. After a while they seem to just jump on the bandwagon and get amused by your whore antics. As far as "dating" goes I guess it's the narrative and tension that makes it fun, it is definitely not something I would want to give up to just jump right to sexytime. Also, I've only had a girl come over straight to my place once, and I royally fucked that up!

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Joined: 01/18/2012
The nuances of that are

The nuances of that are mostly contained within text game. The "Fast & Furious" texting style directly leads to this rather than a "date". Your friends are essentially trying to get you to be more aggressive. And yes there are lots of examples of first time dates at my place or hers on the site and forum. 

You have to be pushy but smooth. But you got cockblocked by your own fucking sister so clearly this is an issue for you. 

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