Girl is holding my stuff hostage
So I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months now. Since we have opposite schedules and live about 20 miles apart, we have only been able to fuck at her place. I don't know if she has a low sex drive or what but she seems to only want to have sex maybe once or twice a week. I'm sure she likes the sex because she has told me that I'm the only guy that's ever been able to make her cum. But sometimes she does flake on me and I take it kind of personal. Though she does acknowledge that she is a "fickle bitch". She says that it's because sometimes she just doesn't want to have sex or that she wants to stay at home and watch Netflix and that she's a woman. But lately I have been getting kind of irritated and she says that I get too pushy when she doesn't want to have sex. So she proposed that we take a break. At first I told her to let me pick my stuff up and she said no so we agreed to give each other some space for a while. After about a week, she called me and texted me a few times saying she misses me but I was unavailable to speak. I called her and sent her a text back telling her to call me and she said she will but hasn't yet after a couple days. I called her and spoke to her for a couple minutes last night and she said she might be doin stuff on her birthday and that she'll call me this weekend and that it was good to hear my voice.
What's really driving me nuts about this right now is that today is her birthday and we agreed to have sex on each other's birthdays a couple months ago and she hasn't contacted me yet but she still has my stuff at her place. Doesn't it mean that she likes me if she's holding my stuff hostage like this? If so, why doesn't she make time to see me or talk to me? What should I do?
Thanks
You’re not looking at this right at all Victory. You’re worried about if she “likes” in comparison to all the shitty things she’s doing. In coaching you learn quick that it doesn’t matter if a girl likes you or not, what really matters is compliance to bed her. After that comes the emotional connection that bonds you two. Worrying about if she “likes” you is a total circle jerk. Why does it matter to you so much? She’s been fucking you for 4mo. You don’t think she likes you??
The more important stuff is how she’s treating you. From what you typed, it looks as if she’s treating you with little to no respect. I.e. Flakes on you, plays with your emotions, doesn’t want to have sex often, and even steals your stuff
Whats the nature of your relationship with her that she is saying you guys should take a break? I’m guessing that implies some exclusivity?
Either way, you need to develop some boundaries. That means saying “No” to certain things that attempt to violate you and be willing to walk if they continue attempting. Why are you putting up with all of this and on top of the fact that she’s 20mi away? Wouldn’t you much rather have a girl who fucks you all the time, doesn’t flake on you and loves to see you, and doesn’t try to manipulate or control you?
If you took training then you definitely have the skills to get other girls. Better girls. I’d suggest that. Thats my answer to what you should do, drop this girl. From what I’ve read on this forum, you have had some cool successes with your taxi as well as business. Don’t let this one girl who frankly isnt worth your time ruin that.
If she doesn’t want to have sex then you have to seduce her. Don’t expect sex from your partner. Those days are over. This is 2018. If she flakes on you, you need to confront her about it and proactively change the situation. Jon has amazing articles on that.
Oh, and, get your muthafucking shit back. Thats YOUR stuff. Make sure you record phone calls when you’re doing so, saving text messages, and go grab your stuff with some friends who’ll back you up.
My concern about her liking me is why would she do this if she really likes me? She wanted to take this break because she says I get too pushy when she doesn't want to have sex.
And sometimes I think I can do better. This girl acts too much like my mom sometimes.
I answered all of that in depth for you but lets have another shot at it.
Thats NOT how this stuff works. A girl liking you means nothing. Again, its your job to make things happen. To shape things emotionally and logistically. But to answer your question, if she’s playing games with you like this, you’re not leading enough. You’re not dominating enough. You aren’t acting in full accordance with someone who is a boss. Again, if she treats you like a child, chances are you’re acting like one or havent said or done enough to change that behavior.
People do shitty things. Just because they like you doesn’t mean they’re gonna treat you nicely. You need to expunge that from your mind. The world doesn’t even work like that.
One of my major problems that I have is that I accidentally piss girls off even if they already like me and love fucking me. I think it's my bad humor sometimes. When this is all over I hope to never do that shit again lol
One of my major problems that I have is that I accidentally piss girls off even if they already like me and love fucking me. I think it's my bad humor sometimes. When this is all over I hope to never do that shit again lol
Fuck it. I decided to show up and pick my things up and we agreed to not see or speak to each other again.
Cool. How do you feel? What are your thoughts?
I actually felt like I should have just waited as she later told me that she wanted to get serious with me and I don't think going to her place to get my stuff would have been the proper way to end it. She even called me up the following day wanting me to come over and fuck her so I did. She was drinking though so she was probably just horny. The truth is that I really did not want to end it with her. If anything I would have liked to hash out our differences and continue fucking her which she was planning to do. So now it's kinda awkward. She says we have good sex, but we're just not ready for it to be more than that. So I think she still wants me for sex, but we'll see what happens. Maybe she'll just call me again out of the blue wanting to fuck again when she gets drunk and horny.
Totally, I get it. Its hard to break up and move on and a lot of times you think it was the wrong move etc.
But she was trying to walk all over you and in some cases did man. But its all good cause you still fucked her afterwards and most definitely will be in the future. Which by the way, you should be doing. No need to cut ties ;)
But hey, its not like its over. Hollywood has us all fooled into thinking relationships are this magical thing which once over, can never be gotten again. Relationships don’t work like that. There constantly in flux and no opinion of you or emotion towards you cant be changed or shaped. People break up like 12 times, hate eachother, then get back together a week afterwards. Not trying to give you ideas lol but what I’m saying is don’t live thinking “I wish” or believing something that isnt true.